AUTISM : Why A Knock At The Door , Phone Calls & Letters Are Distressing.... ( ADULT WITH AUTISM )

                          

Hello everyone , I hope everyone is well and has had a lovely Christmas and New year. Today I wanted to talked about certain situations being an adult with autism that I personally struggle with. 

                               

The Knock At The Door

Even as an adult I still need structure and routine , so If somebody knocks at my front who I am not expecting or I don't know is coming can often cause me to have a panic attack because I am thrown off guard. It can become a stressful situation that I wasn't prepared for , whether it is a family member who just turns up to say hello or a stranger trying to sell something, my mind and body goes into a state of distress and I end up hiding on the floor because I become that scared of who is at the door. Obviously having to young children means that sometimes the person knocking at the door can hear them especially when my eldest shouts " mummy who is at the door ". Which often means they will continue to keep knocking louder which causes more distress for me as I am sensitive to sound. No I don't answer the door because usually by this point I am in tears because I have got that overwhelmed and stressed out at the thought of who it could be. I have had bad experiences that have led me to be more anxious around  ' A knock at the door ' such as someone actually walking into my home and throwing a parcel across my living room. Last year my husband and I was in a bad financial position and debt collectors came knocking at the door and I hid my children and myself until they went which seemed like forever. I have had people look through my kitchen window thinking nobody was home (this has happened a handful of times ). They are experiences that haven't contributed well to my anxiety that is already there about opening the front door. I am aware it could be something as simple as the postman dropping a parcel off because next door are not in, but when you are not expecting anyone it sends you into a torment of anxiety and distress. The stress doesn't take you an hour to recover , it takes days to feel relaxed again.


                            

                                                     


Phone Calls 

Phone calls is another thing I personally find difficult , especially as there tends to be more information given to you over the phone. Understanding information is a big part of what I struggle with , I struggle to process information and I often need it  breaking down for me in order for me to understand it. Like 'the knock at the door ' phone calls cause a lot of anxiety and distress for me , so I often tend to avoid phone calls or my husband talks on my behalf if needed. In some circumstances I do have to speak on the phone to confirm my identity etc which I find incredibly overwhelming and difficult , so I often avoid those situations as much as possible. There was one occasion I had to speak on the phone and I didn't understand what they was asking me , I apologized and said I was autistic and asked if they could explain to me in a different way and they put the phone down on me. I felt stupid and useless that I didn't understand what they was asking me. Another reason which causes anxiety around speaking on the phone is that I can't actually see that person who is on the other end of the phones face. Even though I struggle with eye contact in person not being able to see a persons face or put the voice to a persons face is very hard to comprehend and can feel very confusing for me.  





                             




Letters/ Mail 

Letters are something else I really struggle with . Again a lot of information can be put into letters and I can't always make sense or break down what the information is saying. I do often have to ask my mum for help regarding anything letter wise to make sure everything is correct and I don't misunderstand anything. My husband has a form of dyslexia so he can struggle with letters to at times. So I do often always ask my mum for advice. Sometimes I can interpret little details different which could mean the whole letter could end up meaning something completely different to what it is intended and often I always think the worst of a situation. Usually when I think it is something bad I start getting upset and then it is a horrible circle of anxiety again. 






                                      Thank you for reading 
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Understanding What Psychotic Depression Is!!!

Although many people suffer with depression , there are a hand full of individuals who suffer with Psychotic depression. Psychotic depression is on the severe scale on depression which leads the individual to loose sense of reality , psychotic depression can also effect a persons functional impairments. Psychotic depression can include sufferers to experience delusions which can lead to false beliefs about events that have or haven't occurred. As well as delusions , hallucinations are also common when suffering with psychotic depression. A person may see or hear things that are not really there . Although an individuals delusions and hallucinations  are not actually happening , it is feels very real for the individual which can be distressing especially when others are screaming and shouting " It is not real , it is not really happening!" For a person with psychotic depression it is very much there reality and it is important to understand that , in order to be able to help support and seek help for the individual. It is common the individual will disconnect and isolate  themselves from the outside world , spending a lot of time in bed because they can't control what is happening and struggle to make sense of the situation. A person who suffers with general depression will be able to identify there feelings of being depressed and why they feel depressed , whereas a person with psychotic depression has a loss of insight and are unable to recognise there odd and strange behaviours which means they are at a higher risk of possible suicide or harming themselves and others. 

Other Related Depression Blog Post's 

Understanding Depression And Knowing The Difference Between "Low Mood And Depression

Turning Negative Thoughts About Yourself Into Positive Thoughts About Yourself

5 Myths And Facts About Mental Health

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Autism... The Difference Between Hypersensitive And Hyposensitive ( Sensory Stimulation )

Autism is such a variety of a spectrum , every individual is different and unique meaning each individual will react in different ways to sensory stimulation to each other. The two common responses to sensory stimulation are categorized into " Hypersensitive "and " Hyposesitive ." A person with Autism will often be either hypersensitive or hyposensitive , although that does not mean that an individual can not have characteristics of both categories , like myself! I have Autism and I have characteristics that are in both hypersensitive and hyposensitive. 

Hypersensitive 

Hypersensitive means that an individual with Autism will over react to specific sensory stimulations which a person with Autism would not be affected by.

An individual will often avoid the sensory that causes them distress and discomfort. The sensory that an individual can find sensitive can be anything related to sound , sight , touch , smell and taste. For people who do not have Autism or do not understand Autism the individual with Autism's reaction to a specific sensory may come across as over dramatic " Diva" or arrogant behaviour , without actually understand that the sensory distressing for the individual can sometimes be physically painful especially if the individual has a sensitivity to sight or sound.

Things I am personally sensitive too 

Sight : I am sensitive to specific colours such as bright yellow and orange. I find them painful and uncomfortable to look at. Which means  I often find it difficult to be out in the sun for long periods of time as the brightest is too painful and overwhelming. 

In my room I have dimmed lights because the bright lights are too much for me to handle and the same with the living room lights I use a lamp instead of the main lights.

Sound : I am sensitive to sounds such as a clock ticking , the radiator making a noise , scratching on clothing , paper and surfaces as well as tapping on surfaces , alarms and bells , lawnmowers or somebody making noises with their mouth. All these sounds often make feel very uneasy and distressed. 

Touch : Certain textures can make me very anxious such as suede , silk , dry skin , felt , crepe , wool and fur. 

Smell : Cleaning products , meat products or fast food smells can make me feel sick and I find it difficult to handle being around the smells. 

Hyposensitive 






Hyposensitive is the complete opposite to Hypersensitive , meaning the individual is under sensitive to sensory stimulation and can often be unresponsive to sensory. For example an individual may crave certain hot and spicy foods , but they have no awareness of the temperature of there food , which a person without Autism would be fully aware that their body would not be able to handle that temperature of heat , whereas a person with Autism who is Hyposensitive would not understand the danger of that. Another example is an individual with Autism who is Hyposensitive may not hear things being said verbally or sounds and noises such as alarms , loud music , doorbells , hoovers or lawnmowers and banging of items . Although there is nothing actually wrong with the individual's hearing in itself , but because of the abnormal information processing in the brain the individual may not be able to pick up on certain sounds and noises , which would make them appear unresponsive. 



Things I Can Be Under Sensitive Too




Sound - Although I am sensitive to certain sounds such as a clock ticking , the radiator making a noise , scratching on clothing , paper and surfaces as well as tapping on surfaces , alarms and bells , lawnmowers or somebody making noises with their mouth. I am very unresponsive to verbal communicate , I often can't hear people talking to me and I look to others ( My mum most of the time ) to try and explain what they have said because I can't physical hear them. Sometimes I don't even hear my mum or family members talking to me , or I only tune in at the end of what they are trying to tell me. My mum use to joke that it was selective hearing ( That is often how it can appear.)



Touch - I am fairly tolerant to psychical or self inflective  pain , as someone who use to self harm from being depressed I use to cut my wrists often and it wouldn't hurt even though wrists were a bloody mess , I wouldn't psychically feel " Pain " as such it was more a " Release" or "Relaxed " sensation. 



Body Awareness - I often rock and swing on chairs without realise I am doing it or fidget in a seated environment. I can be oblivious to peoples person space such as standing to close to them or unaware that I am in the way of them.

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Having An Eating Disorder Doesn't Mean People Should Avoid You....

Hello everyone , I hope everyone is well and are having a lovely week.If you have been following my blog for awhile now you may be aware that I have suffered with Anorexia / Eating disorder for a long time.

       Having an eating disorder often means people around you tend to avoid you when it comes to social occasions and events. Individuals tend not to invite you out to places because you have an eating disorder. I understand that they do not want to you to be uncomfortable around an environment where there is food. However not inviting a person with an eating disorder out can actually be emotionally damaging for the person with an eating disorder. It can make the individual feel like others are ashamed of  them.

   Many individuals with an eating disorder including myself are very capable of being able to sit in a restaurant or food environment with family , friends or colleagues and sit and have something to drink while others eat. If the person with an eating disorder feels emotionally , psychically and mentally prepared to eat something while out , they will simply order something that they feel capable of eating. We are likely to leave some of the food , but we are willing to try.

Comments That Should Never Be Made To The Individual While Out Eating

1. Oh you are eating something this time.

( Makes the individual feel guilty for eating )

2. Why did you not finish all of your meal? 

( We have are limits of what we are capable of consuming )

3. Please eat some more food.

( Makes the individual feel under pressure and forced to do something they can not physically do)

4. Asking questions about what they have order to eat and why.

( Feeling judged about their diet ) 

5. Do you want some of my food instead?

( Feeling forced )

6. You ate more than you usually do.

( Makes the individual feel ashamed of eating ) 

Knowing that you don't get invited to places because you have an eating disorder can be very hurtful. This has happened to me on several occasions and it makes you feel ashamed of who you are. Yes I struggle with food , but that does not mean I want to be avoided because of it. I have an issue with what I consume and put in MY body , not what others put in there body. Somebody else eating does not upset an individual with an eating disorder. However if a person who does not have an eating disorder puts food up to the individual with an eating disorder's mouth and says silly comments like " Come on... Eat it.. " is obviously bound to upset the individual. Unfortunately this has happened to me , I was left feeling mortified,embarrassed and devastated.

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Turning Negative Thinking Into Positive Thinking

Hello everyone! :) I hope everyone is doing well and are having a lovely day. Today I thought I would share with you all some of my favourite quotes that encourage positive thinking from a negative mind set. I hope you like some of these quotes :) and I would love to know some of your personal favourite quotes :)

1. When your mind is full of indecision , try thinking with your heart.


2. Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones , you'll start having positive results. 


3. Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars and see yourself running with them. 


4. If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.


5. The greatest revenge is to accomplish what others say you cannot do. 


6. The only true failure is the person who fails to try. 


7. Promote what you love , rather than bashing what you hate.


8. Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.   


9. Don't strive to be better than others , strive to be better than your best self. 


10. I don't think of all the misery but of all the beauty that still remains. 


11. Be like the birds and sing after every storm.



12. Be strong and unyielding so that your inner strength will grow. 


13. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.


14. You must be the change you want to see in the world.


15. Believe in yourself 

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20 Things You Should Never Say To Somebody With An Eating Disorder

1. You do not look thin enough to have an eating disorder.

( An eating disorder is not a body type , it is an illness in the mind)

2. Would you like to try some of this food?

( If the individual feels pressured and forced to eat the food it will back fire on the person offering the food )

3. You are just looking for attention for someone to compliment you on your weight.

( Making the person feel selfish and stupid for having an eating disorder)

4. Just eat more would you.

( Again will feel pressured) 

5. I wish I could loose weight like you.

( May encourage the individual to loose more weight)

6. You looked better before.

( Makes them feel confused and ashamed of their weight)

7. Why don't you just exercise?

( Makes the person feel stupid)

8. What have you eaten today?

( Feels like they are being watched at everything they do)

9. What is it like to have an eating disorder? 

( An upsetting and emotional question)

10. I didn't invite you out because you don't eat.

( Makes the person feel worthless)

11. You have eaten more than yesterday.

( Makes the person feel ashamed for eating more)

12. How much do you weigh? 

(Assuming they are fat)

13. If you think you are fat , then I must be fat too.

( feels bad about themselves)

14. If you eat everything will be better.

( Feels forced , confused , worthless and stupid)

15. You look healthier , you have put a little weight on.

( Thinks you are calling the individual fat)

16. I will make sure you will eat.

( Again Feeling forced to eat)

17. You will get over it soon enough.

( Makes the person feel stupid)

18. I am glad you have eaten something.

( Makes the person feel ashamed for eating)

19. Negative comments about somebody else's weight.

( Paranoid about what they may think of their weight)

20. I will buy you some food.

( Feeling controlled) 

( Being someone who has suffered with anorexia for the  past 8 years , these comments  have been personally made to me and have had a sensitive emotional effect on myself ,I thought I would write a little blog post to help people understand what comments said or made to a person with eating disorder could possibly find offensive and have a negative effect on the individual. However not every person with an eating disorder will have the same sensibility as each other , so they may find some comments more sensitive than others. I am in no means way saying that every person with an eating disorder feels this way , I have just written this from my own perspective of comments that have been made relating to myself having an eating disorder which I have personally found distressing.) 

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Understanding Phobias And The Difference Between Specific And Social Phobias

A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder that an individual has a consistent and exaggerated fear of a specific object , place or situation. This means the individual is most likely to avoid what they fear , although what the individual fears often poses no actual threat or danger to the person themselves. 

There are two different types of phobias. One called " Specific Phobias" which can also be known as " Simple Phobias". The other main phobia group is called " Complex Phobias" which may be referred to as " Social Phobias". 

Specific phobias are usually a phobia of a particular object or situation  that an individual may experience. Often specific phobias start at a young age and though some may grow out of their phobia, for others it may be a phobia they cope with throughout their life. 

Here are some examples of Specific phobias below:

Animal Phobias - It is not uncommon that an individual may have a fear of an animal. The most common animals fears are usually spiders , snakes , mice, birds , incests , cats and dogs. 

Environmental phobias - An individual may be afraid of thunder and lightening , hurricanes or tornadoes , water or even heights.

Situational phobias - Situational phobias tend to be related to situations or circumstances such as having a fear of flying , visiting the dentist , lifts and escalators or even being in small spaces.

Body related phobias -  Body related phobias often refer to having a fear of things such as injections , blood or vomit. 

Social phobias are  more complex than specific phobias. Individuals with a Social phobia tend be extremely anxious and very self- conscious in everyday social situations. Social phobia comes under the diagnose of  " A Social Anxiety Disorder" and individuals have an increasingly intense fear of being watched or judged by other members of society. For somebody with a social phobia their fear can be so severe that simple things for other people such as work , school , meeting friends or being social with people , shopping or everyday activities is very difficult for somebody with a social phobia. Their fear can be so extreme that it may effect and interfere with the individual from leading a normal day to day life.


Some Of The Most Common Phobias Include:

Social interaction fear - Social interaction includes things such as meeting friends , going to parties , meeting new people , busy places or even a working environment.

Performance fear - Performance fear relates to public speaking such as presenting a presentation to other individuals.

Observation fear - Observation fear relates to an individual having an intense fear of being watched or seen by others, even just walking down the street to the shop. 


AGORAPHOBIA 

A person suffering with a social phobia is most likely to suffer with Agoraphobia which is also an anxiety disorder. Agoraphobia is one of the more extreme social phobias , a person suffering with Agoraphobia is severely afraid of any kind of social situations. The individual feels like they are at a high risk of danger and becomes fearful of the outside world. The extreme anxiety they experience often leads the individual to become housebound.  

Other  Known Phobias :

Arachnophobia 
Emetophobia 
Dentophobia
Trypanophobia
Cibophobia
Erythrophobia 
Aerophobia  


Possible Causes Of Phobias      

There is no one particular set cause of why somebody develops a phobia. Every individual is different , therefore the causes of the individual developing a phobia will differ from each other. 

However here are some possible causes which may contribute to a person developing a phobia:


. Genetics - Genetics may contribute to a person developing a phobia. If there is a family history of someone having a certain phobia it is possible that an individual may have developed the same phobia. Some people may be born with a propensity to be more anxious than others. 

. Incident/ Trauma - A phobia can be linked to a specific incident or trauma that an individual may have experienced. For example somebody who got trapped in a lift / elevator because it broke , may become fearful of using  a lift / elevator and develop a phobia of  using elevators. 

. Learned Responses - The family environment may be a factor that can contribute an individual to developing a phobia. A person may have picked up on a family members responses and anxieties  towards different things in their earlier life. 





Psychical And Emotional Response Of Having A Phobia     


Psychical 


  Sweating  

Short Of Breath

Chest Pains 

Fast heart rate

Dizziness / Fainting 

Butterflies in their tummy 

Tearful 

Feeling like their are going to be sick
        

Emotional 

Disappointed 

feeling stupid 

Useless 

Unhappy 

Distress 

Embarrassed

Defeated 

Fearful 

Lonely 

Worried               

Self Help


Lifestyle changes may help an individual reduce the symptoms of a phobia. Lifestyle changes may include: 

. Regular exercise

. Regular and balanced meals 

. Getting enough sleep 

. Avoiding things such as caffeine or other stimulants 

Another self help is " Self-exposure Therapy " which includes the following : 

Relaxation techniques such as a variety of physical exercise , breathing exercise , meditation or yoga. This may help an individual to have some control of their breathing when suffering the symptoms of a phobia. Self help groups may be useful for an individual with a phobia , as meeting other people who share similar experiences as the individual could be useful as they may share different coping mechanisms with each other. 





Help , Support And Treatment 

For individuals who are struggling with a phobia there is help and treatments available to support them.

Here are some options available who seek help :


Counselling - Counsellors will listen to individuals problems and help them find a way to overcome their problems. 

Psychotherapy - A psychotherapist will use a more direct and in - depth approach to find the cause of the individuals problems and suggests coping mechanisms to help deal with their problems.  

CBT - CBT is a type of counselling that explores the individuals thoughts , feelings and behaviour which will help find practical ways of dealing with the individuals phobia. 

Medication - Medication is not essential but may help a person suffering with a phobia which causes them to have anxiety symptoms may be useful to some individuals. 

GP - Making an appointment to see there doctor is important  for an individual to seek help for there concerns about their phobia. A doctor can provide help and information for the individual and will usually refer the individual for therapy. 



More Help And Information        


MIND.ORG

HELP GUIDE. ORG

TOPUK.ORG

PHOBIA.ABOUT.COM

RCPSYCH

MAYO CLINIC

NHS CHOICES

BUPA UK







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xoxox