20 Things You Should Never Say To Somebody With An Eating Disorder

1. You do not look thin enough to have an eating disorder.

( An eating disorder is not a body type , it is an illness in the mind)

2. Would you like to try some of this food?

( If the individual feels pressured and forced to eat the food it will back fire on the person offering the food )

3. You are just looking for attention for someone to compliment you on your weight.

( Making the person feel selfish and stupid for having an eating disorder)

4. Just eat more would you.

( Again will feel pressured) 

5. I wish I could loose weight like you.

( May encourage the individual to loose more weight)

6. You looked better before.

( Makes them feel confused and ashamed of their weight)

7. Why don't you just exercise?

( Makes the person feel stupid)

8. What have you eaten today?

( Feels like they are being watched at everything they do)

9. What is it like to have an eating disorder? 

( An upsetting and emotional question)

10. I didn't invite you out because you don't eat.

( Makes the person feel worthless)

11. You have eaten more than yesterday.

( Makes the person feel ashamed for eating more)

12. How much do you weigh? 

(Assuming they are fat)

13. If you think you are fat , then I must be fat too.

( feels bad about themselves)

14. If you eat everything will be better.

( Feels forced , confused , worthless and stupid)

15. You look healthier , you have put a little weight on.

( Thinks you are calling the individual fat)

16. I will make sure you will eat.

( Again Feeling forced to eat)

17. You will get over it soon enough.

( Makes the person feel stupid)

18. I am glad you have eaten something.

( Makes the person feel ashamed for eating)

19. Negative comments about somebody else's weight.

( Paranoid about what they may think of their weight)

20. I will buy you some food.

( Feeling controlled) 

( Being someone who has suffered with anorexia for the  past 8 years , these comments  have been personally made to me and have had a sensitive emotional effect on myself ,I thought I would write a little blog post to help people understand what comments said or made to a person with eating disorder could possibly find offensive and have a negative effect on the individual. However not every person with an eating disorder will have the same sensibility as each other , so they may find some comments more sensitive than others. I am in no means way saying that every person with an eating disorder feels this way , I have just written this from my own perspective of comments that have been made relating to myself having an eating disorder which I have personally found distressing.) 

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10 Positive Quotes To Encourage Positive Thinking And Motivation

1. Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell 




2. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. - Helen Keller 



3. Minds are like flowers, they only open when the time is right. - Stephen Richards 



4. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. - Roald Dahl



5. You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream. - C.S. Lewis 


6. We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. - Walt Disney 


7. It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. - William Shakespeare


8.  For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. - Audrey Hepburn 

9. Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. - Soren Kierkegaard



10. With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. - Eleanor Roosevelt 

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Understanding Phobias And The Difference Between Specific And Social Phobias

A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder that an individual has a consistent and exaggerated fear of a specific object , place or situation. This means the individual is most likely to avoid what they fear , although what the individual fears often poses no actual threat or danger to the person themselves. 

There are two different types of phobias. One called " Specific Phobias" which can also be known as " Simple Phobias". The other main phobia group is called " Complex Phobias" which may be referred to as " Social Phobias". 

Specific phobias are usually a phobia of a particular object or situation  that an individual may experience. Often specific phobias start at a young age and though some may grow out of their phobia, for others it may be a phobia they cope with throughout their life. 

Here are some examples of Specific phobias below:

Animal Phobias - It is not uncommon that an individual may have a fear of an animal. The most common animals fears are usually spiders , snakes , mice, birds , incests , cats and dogs. 

Environmental phobias - An individual may be afraid of thunder and lightening , hurricanes or tornadoes , water or even heights.

Situational phobias - Situational phobias tend to be related to situations or circumstances such as having a fear of flying , visiting the dentist , lifts and escalators or even being in small spaces.

Body related phobias -  Body related phobias often refer to having a fear of things such as injections , blood or vomit. 

Social phobias are  more complex than specific phobias. Individuals with a Social phobia tend be extremely anxious and very self- conscious in everyday social situations. Social phobia comes under the diagnose of  " A Social Anxiety Disorder" and individuals have an increasingly intense fear of being watched or judged by other members of society. For somebody with a social phobia their fear can be so severe that simple things for other people such as work , school , meeting friends or being social with people , shopping or everyday activities is very difficult for somebody with a social phobia. Their fear can be so extreme that it may effect and interfere with the individual from leading a normal day to day life.


Some Of The Most Common Phobias Include:

Social interaction fear - Social interaction includes things such as meeting friends , going to parties , meeting new people , busy places or even a working environment.

Performance fear - Performance fear relates to public speaking such as presenting a presentation to other individuals.

Observation fear - Observation fear relates to an individual having an intense fear of being watched or seen by others, even just walking down the street to the shop. 


AGORAPHOBIA 

A person suffering with a social phobia is most likely to suffer with Agoraphobia which is also an anxiety disorder. Agoraphobia is one of the more extreme social phobias , a person suffering with Agoraphobia is severely afraid of any kind of social situations. The individual feels like they are at a high risk of danger and becomes fearful of the outside world. The extreme anxiety they experience often leads the individual to become housebound.  

Other  Known Phobias :

Arachnophobia 
Emetophobia 
Dentophobia
Trypanophobia
Cibophobia
Erythrophobia 
Aerophobia  


Possible Causes Of Phobias      

There is no one particular set cause of why somebody develops a phobia. Every individual is different , therefore the causes of the individual developing a phobia will differ from each other. 

However here are some possible causes which may contribute to a person developing a phobia:


. Genetics - Genetics may contribute to a person developing a phobia. If there is a family history of someone having a certain phobia it is possible that an individual may have developed the same phobia. Some people may be born with a propensity to be more anxious than others. 

. Incident/ Trauma - A phobia can be linked to a specific incident or trauma that an individual may have experienced. For example somebody who got trapped in a lift / elevator because it broke , may become fearful of using  a lift / elevator and develop a phobia of  using elevators. 

. Learned Responses - The family environment may be a factor that can contribute an individual to developing a phobia. A person may have picked up on a family members responses and anxieties  towards different things in their earlier life. 





Psychical And Emotional Response Of Having A Phobia     


Psychical 


  Sweating  

Short Of Breath

Chest Pains 

Fast heart rate

Dizziness / Fainting 

Butterflies in their tummy 

Tearful 

Feeling like their are going to be sick
        

Emotional 

Disappointed 

feeling stupid 

Useless 

Unhappy 

Distress 

Embarrassed

Defeated 

Fearful 

Lonely 

Worried               

Self Help


Lifestyle changes may help an individual reduce the symptoms of a phobia. Lifestyle changes may include: 

. Regular exercise

. Regular and balanced meals 

. Getting enough sleep 

. Avoiding things such as caffeine or other stimulants 

Another self help is " Self-exposure Therapy " which includes the following : 

Relaxation techniques such as a variety of physical exercise , breathing exercise , meditation or yoga. This may help an individual to have some control of their breathing when suffering the symptoms of a phobia. Self help groups may be useful for an individual with a phobia , as meeting other people who share similar experiences as the individual could be useful as they may share different coping mechanisms with each other. 





Help , Support And Treatment 

For individuals who are struggling with a phobia there is help and treatments available to support them.

Here are some options available who seek help :


Counselling - Counsellors will listen to individuals problems and help them find a way to overcome their problems. 

Psychotherapy - A psychotherapist will use a more direct and in - depth approach to find the cause of the individuals problems and suggests coping mechanisms to help deal with their problems.  

CBT - CBT is a type of counselling that explores the individuals thoughts , feelings and behaviour which will help find practical ways of dealing with the individuals phobia. 

Medication - Medication is not essential but may help a person suffering with a phobia which causes them to have anxiety symptoms may be useful to some individuals. 

GP - Making an appointment to see there doctor is important  for an individual to seek help for there concerns about their phobia. A doctor can provide help and information for the individual and will usually refer the individual for therapy. 



More Help And Information        


MIND.ORG

HELP GUIDE. ORG

TOPUK.ORG

PHOBIA.ABOUT.COM

RCPSYCH

MAYO CLINIC

NHS CHOICES

BUPA UK







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What Is A Sociopath? And The Signs Of A Sociopath

A Sociopath is a person with a personality disorder who lacks empathy and emotion towards others. Their attitudes and behaviours are severely antisocial. A Sociopathic personality disorder can both occur in men and women. The easiest way to explain a sociopath is that they have no conscious and have no guilt of their actions of there antisocial behaviour. Sociopath's  are usually highly intelligent and are mastermind's at deception. They are often geniuses at scamming people and being untruthful. 

Signs Of A Sociopath 

1. Sociopath's are incapable of feeling remorse or shame for their actions and behaviours. They betray , threaten and harm people without a second thought. Some may find it humorous and get a twisted buzz out of hurting someone.

2. Sociopath's hate to lose. The individual has to be the dominate one in every situation , they like to be in control and may go to extremes to win at all costs. ( This may include , arguments , fights, activities , being better than someone else) 

3. They will never apologize and often make someone else feel as though it is there fault and they owe the Sociopath an apology. 

4. Soicopath's tend to be delusional and believe what they want to believe. They often change the story they have already told and are convinced every time they change the story it is true.

5. Soicopath's can be very charming and because of their charm they can be extremely manipulative.

6. They are convinced that they can do no wrong.

7. Soicopath's do not tend to follow the law or rules , which sometimes can mean they are dangerous and violent to others. However this does not mean all Soicopath's are violent or threatening. 

8. They always play the victim role. 

9. Sociopath's often lie about their past , present and intentions for the future. 

10.   They tend to have a huge ego/ narcissist and are obsessed with themselves.

11. Soiciopath's can often be paranoid.

12. They have impulsive behaviour and are more spontaneous than others. 

13. They are incapable of love , they may be with somebody romantically but will not love them like the person they are with does.

14. Because of them being narcissists they are very sensitive to criticism from others.

15. They find themselves superior to others. 

     

  

Possible Causes Of Becoming A Sociopath 

Although there is no specific cause of a person becoming a Sociopath , there some factors that can contribute to a possible cause of becoming a Sociopath.

. Child abuse or neglect 

. Sexual , physical , mental or emotional abuse

. Genes - If there is a family history of a family member being a Sociopath , it is possible an individual may be vulnerable to becoming a Sociopath.

. Being in a hostile environment for a long period of time

. Being bullied

. Lack of acceptance 

. Abnormal brain function 

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Turning Negative Thoughts About Yourself Into Positive Thoughts About Yourself

Hello there everyone! :) Often people dwell on negative thoughts during a depressing and stressful period in their life. I am guilty of doing this too , during my low days I often think negative thoughts about myself and seem to bully myself in my head over and over. Doing this time and time again is not mentally or psychically healthy for anyone. So I recently came up with a strategy to help decrease these ridiculously negative nonsense thoughts. I wrote down a list of  the negative things I tell myself and turned them into positive things I NEED to tell myself. I am going to read this list everyday until the positive thoughts are implanted in my brain. Whenever I am feeling low and them nasty negative thoughts try and slip into my head , I will remember the positives that I changed from the negatives and repeat them to myself.    

I hope anyone who is struggling with negative thoughts finds this list helpful , or I would love to see you come up with your own list of changing negative thoughts into positive thoughts! :)  

I tell myself I am WORTHLESS 

I need to tell myself I am WORTH IT

I tell myself I am STUPID 

I need to tell myself I am a different kind of SMART

I tell myself I am UGLY 

I need to tell myself I am BEAUTIFUL in my own way

I tell myself I am DAMAGED 

I need to tell myself things take TIME to be fixed

I tell myself I am WEAK

I need to tell myself  your not weak because your heart is still beating STRONG

I tell myself  nobody CARES

I need to tell myself  there is somebody who will always CARE

I tell myself I am INFERIOR 

I need to tell myself I am equally UNIQUE  

I tell myself I deserve to be UNHAPPY 

I need to tell myself everyone deserve to be HAPPY including yourself

I tell myself everybody hates me

I need to tell myself the people worth keeping LOVE you

I tell myself I am a failure 

I need to tell myself you have to fail once or twice to eventually SUCCEED 

  

I tell myself I CANT  do this

I need to tell myself I CAN do this

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