AUTISM : Why A Knock At The Door , Phone Calls & Letters Are Distressing.... ( ADULT WITH AUTISM )

                          

Hello everyone , I hope everyone is well and has had a lovely Christmas and New year. Today I wanted to talked about certain situations being an adult with autism that I personally struggle with. 

                               

The Knock At The Door

Even as an adult I still need structure and routine , so If somebody knocks at my front who I am not expecting or I don't know is coming can often cause me to have a panic attack because I am thrown off guard. It can become a stressful situation that I wasn't prepared for , whether it is a family member who just turns up to say hello or a stranger trying to sell something, my mind and body goes into a state of distress and I end up hiding on the floor because I become that scared of who is at the door. Obviously having to young children means that sometimes the person knocking at the door can hear them especially when my eldest shouts " mummy who is at the door ". Which often means they will continue to keep knocking louder which causes more distress for me as I am sensitive to sound. No I don't answer the door because usually by this point I am in tears because I have got that overwhelmed and stressed out at the thought of who it could be. I have had bad experiences that have led me to be more anxious around  ' A knock at the door ' such as someone actually walking into my home and throwing a parcel across my living room. Last year my husband and I was in a bad financial position and debt collectors came knocking at the door and I hid my children and myself until they went which seemed like forever. I have had people look through my kitchen window thinking nobody was home (this has happened a handful of times ). They are experiences that haven't contributed well to my anxiety that is already there about opening the front door. I am aware it could be something as simple as the postman dropping a parcel off because next door are not in, but when you are not expecting anyone it sends you into a torment of anxiety and distress. The stress doesn't take you an hour to recover , it takes days to feel relaxed again.


                            

                                                     


Phone Calls 

Phone calls is another thing I personally find difficult , especially as there tends to be more information given to you over the phone. Understanding information is a big part of what I struggle with , I struggle to process information and I often need it  breaking down for me in order for me to understand it. Like 'the knock at the door ' phone calls cause a lot of anxiety and distress for me , so I often tend to avoid phone calls or my husband talks on my behalf if needed. In some circumstances I do have to speak on the phone to confirm my identity etc which I find incredibly overwhelming and difficult , so I often avoid those situations as much as possible. There was one occasion I had to speak on the phone and I didn't understand what they was asking me , I apologized and said I was autistic and asked if they could explain to me in a different way and they put the phone down on me. I felt stupid and useless that I didn't understand what they was asking me. Another reason which causes anxiety around speaking on the phone is that I can't actually see that person who is on the other end of the phones face. Even though I struggle with eye contact in person not being able to see a persons face or put the voice to a persons face is very hard to comprehend and can feel very confusing for me.  





                             




Letters/ Mail 

Letters are something else I really struggle with . Again a lot of information can be put into letters and I can't always make sense or break down what the information is saying. I do often have to ask my mum for help regarding anything letter wise to make sure everything is correct and I don't misunderstand anything. My husband has a form of dyslexia so he can struggle with letters to at times. So I do often always ask my mum for advice. Sometimes I can interpret little details different which could mean the whole letter could end up meaning something completely different to what it is intended and often I always think the worst of a situation. Usually when I think it is something bad I start getting upset and then it is a horrible circle of anxiety again. 






                                      Thank you for reading 
                                               Love Ava
                                                    xoxo

A Child With Autism Then Becomes An Adult With Autism ( School Struggles )

           

                       

Hello everybody! I hope everyone is well and has had a good week. I know I haven't posted in a while , I have been wiped out with morning sickness for the past few months. Yes that's right my husband and I are expecting baby number 3! It was a bit of a shock to say the least, but we have finally got our head around having another baby. 

   



                 
        Today's blog post I wanted to write about being an adult with autism. I have seen alot of parents recently post awareness about there child having autism especially since schools have started back. People seem to forget that children with autism grow up to be an adult with autism , those struggles that children face in school don't just fade away. I left high school a decade ago and I struggled a lot through both primary school and high school. The difficulties a faced then , I still face now. Although as adult you learn what works for you , what situation are going to overwhelm you or cause distress to you. As a child it is very confusing , you don't understand why you feel or see things a certain way which can cause so much anxiety for a child. Anxiety that a child is to young to understand why they feel that way and they can't explain it because they don't yet have the words to describe those feelings. 
         Sensory overload and anxiety have a big link for those with autism. As an adult you learn what kind of sensory overload can be distressing to you , so you take certain precautions to help you in that situation. For example noise is a big issue for me , so if I had to put myself in a situation where there is going to be a lot of noise , I would take some earphones to block out some of the noise or I would research the place to know my surroundings and see if I could find a quieter place. When you are a child with autism you don't have that understanding of why everything feels so loud , overwhelming and physically painful . If you are parent of a child with autism you might find your child tells you they have earache and although it might not be an infection earache , for your child it will feel that way because of how sensitive they are to sound. Unfortunately it still feels that way for an adult , but you learn what sounds your more sensitive too. 
    Does your child tell you to stop shouting at them? Even though you are not! The slightest change in the tone of your voice can make someone with autism feel like you are shouting at them. This happens a lot with my husband and he has to take his time to explain he wasn't shouting at me although it feels like he is. This can be extremely hard for children especially in a school environment it can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. 
     It is very important that a child with autism has support throughout school life , that teachers and other professional are made aware of an individuals struggles. This will help a child with autism have a less daunting school experience. Unfortunately I didn't have support throughout school life despite my mum fighting my corner for me to get the right support , I never got it. School failed me and many others my age , this has effected me as an adult as I haven't yet been able to go into a work role. I went back education on my own doing long distance learning and was able to pass all my courses but during school years I ended up missing a lot of school due to a lack of support and severe anxiety.  Work is something I would love to do , however been classed as" disabled"  has it limitation. Sometimes that is all people see you as and they think you are incapable of being able to do things just because you struggle more than others. I haven't been given the opportunity to be in a work role in fact I once got told I wasn't mentally well enough to work , which really knocked my confidence. 
      I am so happy that in the past few years more awareness of what autism is has been made aware. Hopefully this help children more , when I was a child there wasn't much knowledge or education on the subject , so its great to see people speak and stand up for those with autism. Autism is such a big spectrum that people don't even realise how big it is.  We all struggle in different ways and no two people with autism are the same , we may have similarities but we are all unique and different to each other , just like individuals without autism. 





                                    Thank you reading :)

                                      Love Ava 

                                        xoxo

I Vlogged Throughout The Month Of April For Autism Awareness Month

Hello everyone , I hope everyone is well and are having a good week so far. If you have read my blog for awhile now you will know that I am Autistic. April was Autism Awareness month , so throughout the month of April I vlogged each day on my instagram stories to show what it is like living with Autism. After my first few videos I received messages of encouragement and support from people which was lovely and they continued to watch my videos throughout the month of april. I found it very hard at first to talk to the camera , I felt a little bit stupid talking to myself at first really , it took me at least 10 times to film my first video because I felt so embarrassed , I thought I was making a fool of myself. Peoples support really helped me to continuing making videos and as the month went on I find more confidence in myself to make videos. 
       By the second week of april I had some lovely messages from people telling me they enjoyed watching my videos which made me feel like I was doing something right. My husband is my number one supporter and he kept telling me how proud he was of me for showing people the difficulties individuals with Autism face each day.  I also shared stories about my mental health and struggles too , which alot people seemed to be able to relate too. I had a few messages asking where to go for help and wanted some guidance which I was happy to help with. I am always happy to people when they need. 
      By the third week ,some people had made fake accounts to message me , to tell me things that was obviously was going to upset me. I found that very upsetting and it caused alot of stress for me. During the same week alot of things happened in our family which caused stress and upset for my family which didnt help when my head felt all over the place anyway. I felt drained and I didnt feel motivated to do videos but I carried on doing them even if it was just little ones throughout the day. I started to feel better by week 4 and carried on vlogging my day and I was still receiving nice messages from people which certainly out weighed the upset from silly fake accounts. 
           The last day of April came which meant last day of vlogging for Autism awareness. I received some messages asking to continue with my videos and that they enjoyed watching. I wasnt too sure at first if I wanted to continue vlogging , I actually found it quite hard to remember to vlog things. I thought about it overnight and decided I would continue to make videos but not everyday , I didnt want to put too much pressure on myself to do it everyday. It really meant alot to me those who watched and supported me , all I have ever wanted to do is to help people and I hope my videos do help people even if it is just one person that would be great. 




If you are interested in watching my videos/ stories my instagram is
                                xovintagewayoflifexo




                                 Love Ava xox
                              

My Sensory Palette ( Living With Autism )

Autism is something many people don't understand , you cant just ask a person like myself who has Autism what is it like to have Autism? Autism is something you are born with , it is something you will have your whole life , but usually will be diagnosed when a person starts to develop or develops in a way society would class as " not normal ." A person with Autism has never been anyone else but themselves so how can they explain what it is like to have Autism when they have never been anyone else to compare it to being someone without Autism. 

          However we can tell you what things we find difficult in day to day life. SENSORY is a big factor for someone with Autism which can make life hard work and a struggle. The simplest things for someone without Autism could be one of the most hardest things for someone with Autism. Every individual is different and we are all sensitive to sensory but we will not all be sensitive to the exact same thing. 

My Sensory Palette

Sound -  Alarms , Lawn mowers , tapping , Scratching noises are some examples I find sensitive to hear. I find it difficult to process sound when someone is talking to me and process the information but may be able to hear the tiniest pin drop on the floor. Depending on the tone of someones voice I can sometimes feel like someone is shouting at me , when they could be just talking normally because the sound can be to loud for me to listen too. When there is too much sound going on in a room it can be come psychically painful and can hurt my ears to listen too.

Sight - It is quite common for people with Autism to be visual impaired and need glasses like myself. However there is many other things that I am sensitive too when it comes to sight. Ever since I was little I have found it difficult to look at the colours orange and yellow as I find it painful  to visually  look at. Which means when the sun is out I tend to get lots of headaches , migraines and feeling faint as the outside is too bright for me , this feeling can also occur when indoor lightening is too bright and can cause sight sensitivity. Which is why I use corner lamps around the house rather than ceiling lights. 

Touch - For someone with Autism Touch is a common sensitivity that we will experience when it comes to sensory. The feeling of dry skin , seatbelts , velvet , wood are some examples of things I find difficult to touch. Sometimes when people touch me , tap me or hug me I feel uncomfortable and it can make me very jumpy. 

Taste - I am not as sensitive to taste as such, however if you have read my blog for awhile now you will know I have  had anorexia for a long time and my food needs to be in a certain order and can be very restrictive at times. Taste wise I find it difficult to cope with alternatives. For example I regularly drink pepsi max ,  if they had none left in the shop I would find it difficult to switch to diet coke or even diet pepsi. 

Smell -  Meat smells have always made me gag ( no offence to anyone who eats meat and it is not a judgement on what someone eats) the smell I just don't like and can sometimes can make me feel sickly. I can often smell different smells before others around me especially smells that progress.

For someone with Autism sensory overload can often cause the individual to be anxious and make them want to isolate themselves because everything becomes to much to process and can be very tiring and stressful for the individual. It is important  for the individual and loved ones to know the individuals triggers of what will overwhelm them and try and avoid sensory overload. 

Thank you for reading :) 

Love  Ava 

xoxo

       

10 Annoying Things Which Are Said To Someone With Autism

 1. So what is it like being Autistic ?

( Because clearly someone with Autism just woke up one day and decided they are going to be Autistic for that day ? ) 

2. You look" normal " , you don't look like you have Autism.

( What is a person with Autism suppose to look like? )  

3. When someone is introducing you to someone and says " Oh she is Autistic so she wont speak very much. 

( Really? Don't even say my name first or say who I am ) 

4. You must be really good at Maths. 

( Not everyone with Autism is a mini Albert Einstein ) 

5. You can have sex right? 

( This is one of the most stupidest comments I have heard , Autism does not affect the capability of  your lady or man parts having sex with someone , however the communication skills of psychically meeting someone to have sex is a completely different story. ) 

6. " My friend's sister is autistic , you seem nothing like her." 

( Not everyone with Autism is the same! We are our own person and we all have different traits .) 

7. " Why aren't you looking at me when I am talking to you?"

( Did you know that for someone with Autism that eye contact can be very difficult and can actually sometimes be psychically painful for a person like myself who is more sensitive with sight .) 

8. Can you work? People automatically think you are incapable of being able to work or hold onto a job. 

( Many people with Autism can work , however there isn't always enough support for those with autism in employment.)

9. Do you have feelings? 

( Of course we have bloody feelings , just because we find it harder to express ourselves doesn't mean we don't have feelings.)

10. But you are not a child , how can you have Autism? 

( Because we clearly have been an adult all our lives...) 

Love Ava

xoxo

How To Help Support Individuals With Autism Daily Routines

Every individual with autism has their own daily routine to help them live their everyday life , just like a neurotypical (individual's without autism) do to. Although a neurotypical individual's routine is not as extreme as an individual with autism , it is important to help support an individual with autism's routine. Supporting an individual can help the person with autism to achieve their goals , targets and help them live a normal life as possible.

Visual Supports :  Visual supports can be a very useful way to help individuals with autism , as they might find visual supports easier to understand and communicate with. It is important to consider an individual's communication preference in order to support the individual with autism . Not every individual with autism will need visual supports ,but for individuals who do may include the follow :

. Photos 
. Pictures 
. Symbols
. Real Objects 
. Calendars 








Colour Coding : Another way to help support an individual with autism's routine is colour coding , this may help the individual understand what tasks and responsibilities are compulsory to carry out and which are moderate. 
For example :
Red - Urgent
Yellow - Pending
Green - No rush 
This will help keep a structure and routine for the individual with autism in order for them to carry out their daily routines. 

    




Lists :  Many individuals without autism often use lists to remind themselves of things they need to do. This also can help individuals with autism to help organise and prioritise things they need to do. Lists can be written or they can be visual by using pictures or symbols. Individuals with autism need structure and creating lists can help provide reassurance for them to see their achievements.


For example : 

   






Electrical Equipment : Computers and mobile phones may be a useful way to help support an individual with autism as you can store information and set reminders on electrical equipment. 
For example :

-  Storing important information such as dates and times for social events , meetings , appointments and special occasions.

- Setting reminders relating to paying bills ( adults with autism ) 

- Texting an individual with a reminder to do something.



 








Task boxes , envelopes and files : Work and tasks can be sorted into set places such as task boxes , envelopes and files to help make sure the individual with autism does not misplace important information such as bills , letters and appointment cards and reminders. 

       






Social stories and comic strip conversations : For individuals with autism who struggle with verbal communication may find social stories and comic strip conversations easier to understand and can help their daily routine. 



 

 





Teaching materials for time and sequence : Teaching materials can include things such as sequence cards , games , timers and clocks can be used to help support an individual with autism daily routine. This can help the individual understand concept of time and schedules. Teaching materials can be used for a variety of different scenarios and tasks.
For example : 
- Completing everyday tasks around the home environment.
- Helping complete tasks in a working environment. 
- Learning activities in education.
- Planning meetings , appointments and social events and occasions.
- To help in travelling and using transport.


    

Household tasks : When it comes household tasks helping to provide a schedule , calender or rota for an individual with autism can help support them to have a structured routine each day.
For example :
Monday - Do the washing , drying , ironing and put away in wardrobes.
Tuesday - Doctors appointment at 2pm , post mail at the post office and prepare tea.
Wednesday - organise bills , clean bathroom and kitchen.
Etc...

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Love Ava 
xoxo

Autism... The Difference Between Hypersensitive And Hyposensitive ( Sensory Stimulation )

Autism is such a variety of a spectrum , every individual is different and unique meaning each individual will react in different ways to sensory stimulation to each other. The two common responses to sensory stimulation are categorized into " Hypersensitive "and " Hyposesitive ." A person with Autism will often be either hypersensitive or hyposensitive , although that does not mean that an individual can not have characteristics of both categories , like myself! I have Autism and I have characteristics that are in both hypersensitive and hyposensitive. 

Hypersensitive 

Hypersensitive means that an individual with Autism will over react to specific sensory stimulations which a person with Autism would not be affected by.

An individual will often avoid the sensory that causes them distress and discomfort. The sensory that an individual can find sensitive can be anything related to sound , sight , touch , smell and taste. For people who do not have Autism or do not understand Autism the individual with Autism's reaction to a specific sensory may come across as over dramatic " Diva" or arrogant behaviour , without actually understand that the sensory distressing for the individual can sometimes be physically painful especially if the individual has a sensitivity to sight or sound.

Things I am personally sensitive too 

Sight : I am sensitive to specific colours such as bright yellow and orange. I find them painful and uncomfortable to look at. Which means  I often find it difficult to be out in the sun for long periods of time as the brightest is too painful and overwhelming. 

In my room I have dimmed lights because the bright lights are too much for me to handle and the same with the living room lights I use a lamp instead of the main lights.

Sound : I am sensitive to sounds such as a clock ticking , the radiator making a noise , scratching on clothing , paper and surfaces as well as tapping on surfaces , alarms and bells , lawnmowers or somebody making noises with their mouth. All these sounds often make feel very uneasy and distressed. 

Touch : Certain textures can make me very anxious such as suede , silk , dry skin , felt , crepe , wool and fur. 

Smell : Cleaning products , meat products or fast food smells can make me feel sick and I find it difficult to handle being around the smells. 

Hyposensitive 






Hyposensitive is the complete opposite to Hypersensitive , meaning the individual is under sensitive to sensory stimulation and can often be unresponsive to sensory. For example an individual may crave certain hot and spicy foods , but they have no awareness of the temperature of there food , which a person without Autism would be fully aware that their body would not be able to handle that temperature of heat , whereas a person with Autism who is Hyposensitive would not understand the danger of that. Another example is an individual with Autism who is Hyposensitive may not hear things being said verbally or sounds and noises such as alarms , loud music , doorbells , hoovers or lawnmowers and banging of items . Although there is nothing actually wrong with the individual's hearing in itself , but because of the abnormal information processing in the brain the individual may not be able to pick up on certain sounds and noises , which would make them appear unresponsive. 



Things I Can Be Under Sensitive Too




Sound - Although I am sensitive to certain sounds such as a clock ticking , the radiator making a noise , scratching on clothing , paper and surfaces as well as tapping on surfaces , alarms and bells , lawnmowers or somebody making noises with their mouth. I am very unresponsive to verbal communicate , I often can't hear people talking to me and I look to others ( My mum most of the time ) to try and explain what they have said because I can't physical hear them. Sometimes I don't even hear my mum or family members talking to me , or I only tune in at the end of what they are trying to tell me. My mum use to joke that it was selective hearing ( That is often how it can appear.)



Touch - I am fairly tolerant to psychical or self inflective  pain , as someone who use to self harm from being depressed I use to cut my wrists often and it wouldn't hurt even though wrists were a bloody mess , I wouldn't psychically feel " Pain " as such it was more a " Release" or "Relaxed " sensation. 



Body Awareness - I often rock and swing on chairs without realise I am doing it or fidget in a seated environment. I can be oblivious to peoples person space such as standing to close to them or unaware that I am in the way of them.

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Love Ava 
xoxo