A Child With Autism Then Becomes An Adult With Autism ( School Struggles )

           

                       

Hello everybody! I hope everyone is well and has had a good week. I know I haven't posted in a while , I have been wiped out with morning sickness for the past few months. Yes that's right my husband and I are expecting baby number 3! It was a bit of a shock to say the least, but we have finally got our head around having another baby. 

   



                 
        Today's blog post I wanted to write about being an adult with autism. I have seen alot of parents recently post awareness about there child having autism especially since schools have started back. People seem to forget that children with autism grow up to be an adult with autism , those struggles that children face in school don't just fade away. I left high school a decade ago and I struggled a lot through both primary school and high school. The difficulties a faced then , I still face now. Although as adult you learn what works for you , what situation are going to overwhelm you or cause distress to you. As a child it is very confusing , you don't understand why you feel or see things a certain way which can cause so much anxiety for a child. Anxiety that a child is to young to understand why they feel that way and they can't explain it because they don't yet have the words to describe those feelings. 
         Sensory overload and anxiety have a big link for those with autism. As an adult you learn what kind of sensory overload can be distressing to you , so you take certain precautions to help you in that situation. For example noise is a big issue for me , so if I had to put myself in a situation where there is going to be a lot of noise , I would take some earphones to block out some of the noise or I would research the place to know my surroundings and see if I could find a quieter place. When you are a child with autism you don't have that understanding of why everything feels so loud , overwhelming and physically painful . If you are parent of a child with autism you might find your child tells you they have earache and although it might not be an infection earache , for your child it will feel that way because of how sensitive they are to sound. Unfortunately it still feels that way for an adult , but you learn what sounds your more sensitive too. 
    Does your child tell you to stop shouting at them? Even though you are not! The slightest change in the tone of your voice can make someone with autism feel like you are shouting at them. This happens a lot with my husband and he has to take his time to explain he wasn't shouting at me although it feels like he is. This can be extremely hard for children especially in a school environment it can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. 
     It is very important that a child with autism has support throughout school life , that teachers and other professional are made aware of an individuals struggles. This will help a child with autism have a less daunting school experience. Unfortunately I didn't have support throughout school life despite my mum fighting my corner for me to get the right support , I never got it. School failed me and many others my age , this has effected me as an adult as I haven't yet been able to go into a work role. I went back education on my own doing long distance learning and was able to pass all my courses but during school years I ended up missing a lot of school due to a lack of support and severe anxiety.  Work is something I would love to do , however been classed as" disabled"  has it limitation. Sometimes that is all people see you as and they think you are incapable of being able to do things just because you struggle more than others. I haven't been given the opportunity to be in a work role in fact I once got told I wasn't mentally well enough to work , which really knocked my confidence. 
      I am so happy that in the past few years more awareness of what autism is has been made aware. Hopefully this help children more , when I was a child there wasn't much knowledge or education on the subject , so its great to see people speak and stand up for those with autism. Autism is such a big spectrum that people don't even realise how big it is.  We all struggle in different ways and no two people with autism are the same , we may have similarities but we are all unique and different to each other , just like individuals without autism. 





                                    Thank you reading :)

                                      Love Ava 

                                        xoxo

The Suicidal Thoughts You Keep Fighting Everyday Part 2 - Exhausted With Anxiety

Hello everyone I hope you are all well and  have had a good weekend. 

 The past week has been an dreadful week , my anxiety has been frightening to say the least and I feel like I am going backwards instead of forwards. I have had an anxiety attack everyday this week and I do not know what the cause of it is. I am feeling exhausted and drained. One minute I am fine the next minute I feel like i am being choked , like I can't breathe properly and I feel like my airways are being cut off. My chest constantly feels heavy , and I keep becoming dizzy and feel sick. For the past year I have had some strange phobia of eating and drinking things , I feel like my throat is going to close up and I am going to stop breathing even if I have eaten that food before. It is becoming a constant daily battle with these anxiety attacks and I am very scared. I have suffered with anxiety most of my life but over the past year I seem to be experiencing different symptoms to what I have experienced before and it is frightening. Usually I know how to help calm myself in anxious situations , but these symptoms are different and I don't feel I have any control of what my body is doing. I am tired and drained , my anxiety is making it hard to cope with daily life and it is hard to cope with two babies when you can't keep yourself calm. I feel guilty that my 2 year old daughter knows that something is wrong with me when I am crying and she says "mummy is crying , you are fine mummy it is okay and rubs my back and hugs me." 
I wish my anxiety would stop , it is becoming so hard to go on each day fighting strong when you know your going to keep being hit with a wave of anxiety at anytime. I constantly feel like there is a lump in my throat. I cry everyday at the moment wishing I would stop feeling like this. My anxiety is making me not want to be here anymore , So I decided to go back to the doctors for help , because I can not cope anymore. I feel like a burden to everyone around me , I feel like they would be better of without me. I am so exhausted , I can't sleep properly , I am hungry all the time because anxiety burns energy off and then I get angry at myself for being hungry. It is a vicious circle. I just want it to stop so I can at least go out for one day without having to run back to the car crying can we go home. 

Thank You For Reading 

Love Ava

xox

10 Annoying Things Which Are Said To Someone With Autism

 1. So what is it like being Autistic ?

( Because clearly someone with Autism just woke up one day and decided they are going to be Autistic for that day ? ) 

2. You look" normal " , you don't look like you have Autism.

( What is a person with Autism suppose to look like? )  

3. When someone is introducing you to someone and says " Oh she is Autistic so she wont speak very much. 

( Really? Don't even say my name first or say who I am ) 

4. You must be really good at Maths. 

( Not everyone with Autism is a mini Albert Einstein ) 

5. You can have sex right? 

( This is one of the most stupidest comments I have heard , Autism does not affect the capability of  your lady or man parts having sex with someone , however the communication skills of psychically meeting someone to have sex is a completely different story. ) 

6. " My friend's sister is autistic , you seem nothing like her." 

( Not everyone with Autism is the same! We are our own person and we all have different traits .) 

7. " Why aren't you looking at me when I am talking to you?"

( Did you know that for someone with Autism that eye contact can be very difficult and can actually sometimes be psychically painful for a person like myself who is more sensitive with sight .) 

8. Can you work? People automatically think you are incapable of being able to work or hold onto a job. 

( Many people with Autism can work , however there isn't always enough support for those with autism in employment.)

9. Do you have feelings? 

( Of course we have bloody feelings , just because we find it harder to express ourselves doesn't mean we don't have feelings.)

10. But you are not a child , how can you have Autism? 

( Because we clearly have been an adult all our lives...) 

Love Ava

xoxo

The First Steps To Help Decrease Stress!

Identify The Possible Causes

It is important to identify and acknowledge the causes that are increasing stress. Being able to identify the causes will help in finding a solution or ways to decrease your stress.

Identify - Analyse - Solutions - Action Plan - Evaluate

( Problem Solving ) 

Where - When - How - What - Who - Why 

Work Life And Personal Life Balance    

Although everyone needs to work to earn a living , it is important to have a balance between your work life and your personal life. You need to ensure that your work life does not become your entire LIFE. It is important to have family time and some "ME"time to help you relax and enjoy life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break from work if your work life is having an mental , emotional and psychical effect on you. Your health is important and you deserve to be happy!  

Exercise!

Regular exercise is a good self-help to decrease stress. Physical exercise releases endorphins ( also known as "the happy hormones" ) in the body which helps the body to relax. Exercise does not have to include a high intensive workout , but can be something as simple as walking to the local shop. 

Let Yourself Relax

I know being stress you may find it difficult to let yourself relax , however it is important that you do! Find time and space to be alone just for an hour everyday or at least once a week to take time to relax. Do whatever helps you relax , it may be watching your favourite TV show , listening to some music , doing yoga or some breathing exercises , reading a book or taking a long relaxing bath. 

Lifestyle Changes /Choices 

Once you know the causes of what is making you stressed , it is important to make lifestyle changes to prevent any further stress. A healthy diet is important to decrease stress. Things such as smoking , alcohol and caffeine can have a negative effect of the body and increase stress levels , it is important to minimize your intake.

Sleep!

Sleeping problems are common for individuals under stress. However it is important that individuals get enough rest , there are different ways to help individuals sleep such as using essential oils , using lavender bath oils before bed , relaxation and meditation CD's or music. 

Know Your Limits 

You need to ensure you know your limits. It is ok to stop what you are doing and rest. You are only one person and there is only so much you can do. You can not take on the weight of the world by yourself and it is completely right for you to say "NO! I need to stop and rest."

Be Mindful 

Focus on the present moment and accept what is happening there and then in that moment , try not to stress or worry about the future or what is to come. Everything happens in its own way , no matter how unfair it may seem at the time. Problems always have a way of being resolved. Live for the now! 

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Love Ava

xoxo

Understanding What Psychotic Depression Is!!!

Although many people suffer with depression , there are a hand full of individuals who suffer with Psychotic depression. Psychotic depression is on the severe scale on depression which leads the individual to loose sense of reality , psychotic depression can also effect a persons functional impairments. Psychotic depression can include sufferers to experience delusions which can lead to false beliefs about events that have or haven't occurred. As well as delusions , hallucinations are also common when suffering with psychotic depression. A person may see or hear things that are not really there . Although an individuals delusions and hallucinations  are not actually happening , it is feels very real for the individual which can be distressing especially when others are screaming and shouting " It is not real , it is not really happening!" For a person with psychotic depression it is very much there reality and it is important to understand that , in order to be able to help support and seek help for the individual. It is common the individual will disconnect and isolate  themselves from the outside world , spending a lot of time in bed because they can't control what is happening and struggle to make sense of the situation. A person who suffers with general depression will be able to identify there feelings of being depressed and why they feel depressed , whereas a person with psychotic depression has a loss of insight and are unable to recognise there odd and strange behaviours which means they are at a higher risk of possible suicide or harming themselves and others. 

Other Related Depression Blog Post's 

Understanding Depression And Knowing The Difference Between "Low Mood And Depression

Turning Negative Thoughts About Yourself Into Positive Thoughts About Yourself

5 Myths And Facts About Mental Health

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Love Ava 

xoxo

Self-Help Techniques For Sufferers With Anxiety

In today's society it is common that more than one in ten people suffer with anxiety and only a hand full of people will in actual fact seek professional guidance to help treat and support there anxiety. Like many others myself included who suffer with anxiety can often feel embarrassed and ashamed about discussing there anxiety problems with others. The shameful feeling often prevents the individual to seek help from a professional. 
            I personally have been in and out of therapy seeing professionals such as doctors , psychologists , psychiatrist, counsellors , mental health nurses and occupational therapists for the past 13 years for my anxieties problems. Unfortunately none of these interventions and professionals have been able to help me over the years , as I have always found it difficult to communicate with others and express my feelings . The more difficult I found it to talk about my anxieties problems , the more ashamed I was and became reluctant to share my feelings. However over the years I have picked up several self- help techniques to help with my anxiety which I would love to share with you all and will hopefully help others reading this blog post. Some techniques may work for some individuals and may not for others , it is important to find what is suited to your needs to help decrease your anxiety. 

Self-Help Techniques

1) Identify the triggers - Drawing out a mind map of what is making you anxious can be useful for some individuals as it helps identify the problem causes the anxiety. Analyse why it is making you feel anxious and then come up with possible solutions to help resolve what is making you anxious.

For example - There is an over crowded shopping centre , you begin to feel overwhelmed and your anxiety starts to increase. Find an empty bench , seat or an empty corner to seat on the floor if no seats are accessible. Take deep breaths and always have a pocket book or quiz book handy to help you focus on the book rather than your anxiety.

Key words: Identify , Problem solving , Trigger , Solutions 

2) Exercise -  Physical exercise can be a good self-help for anxiety as it releases endorphins ( also known as the happy hormones) in the body which creates a more positive feeling. Exercise does not have to be a intense exercise work out but can include , going for a long walk , hula hooping , swimming , dancing , tennis , yoga or even golf. 

Key words : Endorphins , Positive feeling , Exercise 

3) Diet -  It is important that an individual maintains a healthy balanced diet. Diet can be a big factor of triggering anxiety relating to a high volume of sugar and caffeine intake , as well as being dehydration . Sugar and caffeine can lead to anxiety symptoms because of the " Sugar rush" effect. 

Keywords: Balanced , Maintain , Sugar , Trigger

4) Keep a diary / journal - Keeping a diary or journal can help an individual to record and express there feelings and thoughts. Many find it useful to write there feelings as it has a sense of release for a person suffering with anxiety. It can also help to identify some of the problems you wasn't aware was a factor of your anxiety .

Keywords: Write , Feelings , Thoughts , Release 

5) Relaxation - Relaxation techniques may be helpful to some suffers with anxiety as it helps the individual to relax and focus on the relaxation techniques rather than their anxiety problems. Relaxation techniques can include , yoga , pilates , meditation and breathing exercises. Each of these techniques can be done from the comfort of your own home by following a DVD , CD or book.

DVD's 

Everyday Yoga For Stress Release £10.99

Yoga For Depression And Anxiety £10.68

Element Yoga For Stress Relief  £7.49 

CD's 

Relax Guided Meditations To Ease Stress And Anxiety  £12.95

Find Inner Peace  £8.99

Mindfulness £8.46

Books

The Anti-Anxiety Workbook £12.21

How To Master Anxiety  £7.22

Key Words : Relax , Meditation , Techniques

  

6) Complementary Therapies -  Some individuals may find complementary therapies such as spa treatments , massages and herbal products helpful. Individuals may find it relaxing and a way to help decrease stress and anxiety. 

  

7) Hobbies And Activities - Finding a hobby or activity that is of interest to you can be a helpful to decrease anxiety as it helps you to focus on something you enjoy and creates a more positive feeling , rather than focusing on your anxiety problems. Hobbies can include anything from art , photographer , dance , sports related activities , joining charity groups , music , reading or even gaming.  

Key words: Hobby , Focus , Positive 

Other Anxiety Related Blog Posts

Living With Anxiety And Understanding Anxiety

Understanding Phobias And The Difference Between Specific And Social Phobias

Understanding And Knowing Why People Self-Harm

Reading Is Good For The Mind

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Love Ava

xoxo