Dear Husband

      

Dear Husband 
           You don't get much credit for all that you do. You stick by me and our little ones too , you hold me tight when I feel like I have to give up the fight. You guide me through the dark to the light where things seem brighter and seem alright. 
    You don't understand all my struggles but you have never give up wanting to learn , you carry on helping me through the muddy puddles and make sure you give me lots of cuddles. You let me rest when I am too tired or I feel like everything is too much. You pick the slack around our home when I feel i can't carry on alone. It's not how I like it , it is not in its place , it is not perfect but that's okay because you went out of your way to make sure everything was put away. 
        I couldn't ask for a better Dad to our children , you do everything to protect us even when that meant keeping people away to make sure our children was safe. I love you more each day. Thank you for everything you do , the support and love you give me too. You hold me close when I am not alright and don't let go until I am feeling fine , even in the middle of the night when I am feeling afraid you will lay awake with me until sunrise. When I am hurting you will try and take away the pain and put smiles back on my face. 
     Thank you for everything you do , my love will always be with you. 




                          Your Ava Sky x

How To Help Support Individuals With Autism Daily Routines

Every individual with autism has their own daily routine to help them live their everyday life , just like a neurotypical (individual's without autism) do to. Although a neurotypical individual's routine is not as extreme as an individual with autism , it is important to help support an individual with autism's routine. Supporting an individual can help the person with autism to achieve their goals , targets and help them live a normal life as possible.

Visual Supports :  Visual supports can be a very useful way to help individuals with autism , as they might find visual supports easier to understand and communicate with. It is important to consider an individual's communication preference in order to support the individual with autism . Not every individual with autism will need visual supports ,but for individuals who do may include the follow :

. Photos 
. Pictures 
. Symbols
. Real Objects 
. Calendars 








Colour Coding : Another way to help support an individual with autism's routine is colour coding , this may help the individual understand what tasks and responsibilities are compulsory to carry out and which are moderate. 
For example :
Red - Urgent
Yellow - Pending
Green - No rush 
This will help keep a structure and routine for the individual with autism in order for them to carry out their daily routines. 

    




Lists :  Many individuals without autism often use lists to remind themselves of things they need to do. This also can help individuals with autism to help organise and prioritise things they need to do. Lists can be written or they can be visual by using pictures or symbols. Individuals with autism need structure and creating lists can help provide reassurance for them to see their achievements.


For example : 

   






Electrical Equipment : Computers and mobile phones may be a useful way to help support an individual with autism as you can store information and set reminders on electrical equipment. 
For example :

-  Storing important information such as dates and times for social events , meetings , appointments and special occasions.

- Setting reminders relating to paying bills ( adults with autism ) 

- Texting an individual with a reminder to do something.



 








Task boxes , envelopes and files : Work and tasks can be sorted into set places such as task boxes , envelopes and files to help make sure the individual with autism does not misplace important information such as bills , letters and appointment cards and reminders. 

       






Social stories and comic strip conversations : For individuals with autism who struggle with verbal communication may find social stories and comic strip conversations easier to understand and can help their daily routine. 



 

 





Teaching materials for time and sequence : Teaching materials can include things such as sequence cards , games , timers and clocks can be used to help support an individual with autism daily routine. This can help the individual understand concept of time and schedules. Teaching materials can be used for a variety of different scenarios and tasks.
For example : 
- Completing everyday tasks around the home environment.
- Helping complete tasks in a working environment. 
- Learning activities in education.
- Planning meetings , appointments and social events and occasions.
- To help in travelling and using transport.


    

Household tasks : When it comes household tasks helping to provide a schedule , calender or rota for an individual with autism can help support them to have a structured routine each day.
For example :
Monday - Do the washing , drying , ironing and put away in wardrobes.
Tuesday - Doctors appointment at 2pm , post mail at the post office and prepare tea.
Wednesday - organise bills , clean bathroom and kitchen.
Etc...

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Love Ava 
xoxo

The Struggles Of Autism ( Living With Autism )

Autism is a spectrum disorder which means it is greatly varied and affects individuals differently. People who do not understand Autism have a misconception of understanding the spectrum disorder , people often assume that Autism will affect individuals in the same way and that everyone with Autism is the same. 
       Every person with Autism is different and unique , but can relate with each other with the difficulties we face everyday. I myself have Autism and find things daily to be difficult , although the struggles and difficulties I face may vary to another individual with Autism. The daily battles with face everyday will of course differ for everyone depending on how mild or severe they are on the Autistic spectrum. 


   The Three Main Traid of Impairments We Struggle With  

. Social communication and interaction 

. Verbal and non- verbal language 

. Thinking and behaving ( social imagination ) 

How Autism Affects Me In Daily 

. Communication - I find it difficult to communicate with people face to face , speaking over phone and even understanding the contents of emails. I find it uncomfortable to speak to people in person , I feel anxious, stressed and eye contact can often be physically painful due to being overwhelmed by the situation. 

Coordination - I often find fiddly things difficult to coordinate , for example organising books or files might take me longer than somebody without Autism to do , or even tying  or untying things can be complicated to do. Dropping things and bumping into things is a fairly regular thing for me. Clumsiness is very common for somebody with Autism. 



Lack of understanding people's langue - People with autism including myself can often be very playful and sarcastic , however we find difficult to understand other people's sarcasm or humour. We find it difficult to read if somebody is joking and we often take things literally , which causes use to be very sensitive around people as we tend to take everything personally. 




Sensory sensitive - Every individual with Autism finds something related to either sight , touch , sound , smell or taste very sensitive to cope with. For example certain colours can be sensitive for an individual with Autism for me personally I am sensitive to the colours orange and yellow , which both colours can often be painful for me to look at and can make me panic. Sounds such as scratching on surfaces like a table , pieces of paper , a chalk board or even a pair jeans can be overwhelming for me to heard and I often become anxious. Even noises such as somebody mowing the lawn or an alarm going of can be disturbing. Certain textures can make me panic especially " terrycloth". Even when I was a little girl and my mum would touch me on the hand and when she had dry skin on her hands I would start to scream because the texture of the dry skin would make me uncomfortable. 




     

Routine  - Like most individuals with Autism I have a routine in my head of how I do things daily and the timing of those routines. If my routine is changed or disturbed I can become very anxious and uncomfortable. I can become very frustrated with myself because everything becomes out of order or out of place. A slight change or unexpected events that may occur can mean I wont settle for the rest of the day and become uneasy. 





Repetitive patterns - I can often be fidgety such as when sitting on a chair rocking back and forwards or fidgeting about. I always have to check things are switched off 3 times ( ALWAYS 3 ), such as the oven , fireplace , light switch , water tap or making sure the front and back door is locked. I tend to repeat stories that I have already told without realising I have already told them. Constantly fixing and rearranging things like if I am out shopping and a food tin or jar is facing the wrong way I have to fix it ( most of the time I don't even realise I am doing it ). I am always fiddling with objects around me as I tend to be intrigued by objects even if it is just an empty bottle. 









Every individual with Autism is different but we can all relate to each other on some level. People often misjudge Autism because of there lack of understanding about the condition and sadly the media does not raise enough awareness about the condition. In actual fact the media often presents Autism to the public in a negative light by publishing incorrect information about the condition based on one incident that may of happened . For example a shooting that happened not so long ago in the United States, and the gunman happened to have Autism. The media portrayed Autism to be a dangerous and fearful condition based on one individual. When in actual fact  97%  of people with Autism would not hurt a fly , they are most likely to end up hurting themselves out of  frustration or suffering with depression rather than being a threat to the rest of society.  








Unfortunately these are some of the headlines and comments we can often see the media portraying Autism : 



" Parents just letting there children misbehaving , pure laziness! Just give them a good smack "


( Actually children with Autism can not control misbehaving because they don't understand what is going on and why everything seems so difficult. They " misbehave" out of frustration at themselves. 



" Autism wrecks lives"

( Yes , Autism is difficult for an individual and their family but the only person it affects is the individual themselves. Often families are very supportive of a person with Autism and learn to adjust to there needs because it is what families do for there loved ones. Everything might seem 10 times harder for an individual with Autism but that doesn't mean they are incapable of having a life.) 


" Autistic people are violent and dangerous "

( Autistic people are far from dangerous , we wouldn't hurt a soul intentionally. We have so much love to give people but because of our communication and social skills we don't know how to show that love. Our brain is different to our heart. It doesn't quite work together.)  



" People with Autism don't feel emotions "






( We actually feel a lot of emotion that is often overwhelming for us to handle because we feel some much emotion at once.) 







 Thank you for reading 
xo



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Love Ava 
xoxo

20 Things You Should Never Say To Somebody With An Eating Disorder

1. You do not look thin enough to have an eating disorder.

( An eating disorder is not a body type , it is an illness in the mind)

2. Would you like to try some of this food?

( If the individual feels pressured and forced to eat the food it will back fire on the person offering the food )

3. You are just looking for attention for someone to compliment you on your weight.

( Making the person feel selfish and stupid for having an eating disorder)

4. Just eat more would you.

( Again will feel pressured) 

5. I wish I could loose weight like you.

( May encourage the individual to loose more weight)

6. You looked better before.

( Makes them feel confused and ashamed of their weight)

7. Why don't you just exercise?

( Makes the person feel stupid)

8. What have you eaten today?

( Feels like they are being watched at everything they do)

9. What is it like to have an eating disorder? 

( An upsetting and emotional question)

10. I didn't invite you out because you don't eat.

( Makes the person feel worthless)

11. You have eaten more than yesterday.

( Makes the person feel ashamed for eating more)

12. How much do you weigh? 

(Assuming they are fat)

13. If you think you are fat , then I must be fat too.

( feels bad about themselves)

14. If you eat everything will be better.

( Feels forced , confused , worthless and stupid)

15. You look healthier , you have put a little weight on.

( Thinks you are calling the individual fat)

16. I will make sure you will eat.

( Again Feeling forced to eat)

17. You will get over it soon enough.

( Makes the person feel stupid)

18. I am glad you have eaten something.

( Makes the person feel ashamed for eating)

19. Negative comments about somebody else's weight.

( Paranoid about what they may think of their weight)

20. I will buy you some food.

( Feeling controlled) 

( Being someone who has suffered with anorexia for the  past 8 years , these comments  have been personally made to me and have had a sensitive emotional effect on myself ,I thought I would write a little blog post to help people understand what comments said or made to a person with eating disorder could possibly find offensive and have a negative effect on the individual. However not every person with an eating disorder will have the same sensibility as each other , so they may find some comments more sensitive than others. I am in no means way saying that every person with an eating disorder feels this way , I have just written this from my own perspective of comments that have been made relating to myself having an eating disorder which I have personally found distressing.) 

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xoxox

  

10 Positive Quotes To Encourage Positive Thinking And Motivation

1. Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell 




2. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. - Helen Keller 



3. Minds are like flowers, they only open when the time is right. - Stephen Richards 



4. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. - Roald Dahl



5. You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream. - C.S. Lewis 


6. We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. - Walt Disney 


7. It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. - William Shakespeare


8.  For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. - Audrey Hepburn 

9. Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. - Soren Kierkegaard



10. With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. - Eleanor Roosevelt 

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Love Ava 

xoxox

Understanding Phobias And The Difference Between Specific And Social Phobias

A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder that an individual has a consistent and exaggerated fear of a specific object , place or situation. This means the individual is most likely to avoid what they fear , although what the individual fears often poses no actual threat or danger to the person themselves. 

There are two different types of phobias. One called " Specific Phobias" which can also be known as " Simple Phobias". The other main phobia group is called " Complex Phobias" which may be referred to as " Social Phobias". 

Specific phobias are usually a phobia of a particular object or situation  that an individual may experience. Often specific phobias start at a young age and though some may grow out of their phobia, for others it may be a phobia they cope with throughout their life. 

Here are some examples of Specific phobias below:

Animal Phobias - It is not uncommon that an individual may have a fear of an animal. The most common animals fears are usually spiders , snakes , mice, birds , incests , cats and dogs. 

Environmental phobias - An individual may be afraid of thunder and lightening , hurricanes or tornadoes , water or even heights.

Situational phobias - Situational phobias tend to be related to situations or circumstances such as having a fear of flying , visiting the dentist , lifts and escalators or even being in small spaces.

Body related phobias -  Body related phobias often refer to having a fear of things such as injections , blood or vomit. 

Social phobias are  more complex than specific phobias. Individuals with a Social phobia tend be extremely anxious and very self- conscious in everyday social situations. Social phobia comes under the diagnose of  " A Social Anxiety Disorder" and individuals have an increasingly intense fear of being watched or judged by other members of society. For somebody with a social phobia their fear can be so severe that simple things for other people such as work , school , meeting friends or being social with people , shopping or everyday activities is very difficult for somebody with a social phobia. Their fear can be so extreme that it may effect and interfere with the individual from leading a normal day to day life.


Some Of The Most Common Phobias Include:

Social interaction fear - Social interaction includes things such as meeting friends , going to parties , meeting new people , busy places or even a working environment.

Performance fear - Performance fear relates to public speaking such as presenting a presentation to other individuals.

Observation fear - Observation fear relates to an individual having an intense fear of being watched or seen by others, even just walking down the street to the shop. 


AGORAPHOBIA 

A person suffering with a social phobia is most likely to suffer with Agoraphobia which is also an anxiety disorder. Agoraphobia is one of the more extreme social phobias , a person suffering with Agoraphobia is severely afraid of any kind of social situations. The individual feels like they are at a high risk of danger and becomes fearful of the outside world. The extreme anxiety they experience often leads the individual to become housebound.  

Other  Known Phobias :

Arachnophobia 
Emetophobia 
Dentophobia
Trypanophobia
Cibophobia
Erythrophobia 
Aerophobia  


Possible Causes Of Phobias      

There is no one particular set cause of why somebody develops a phobia. Every individual is different , therefore the causes of the individual developing a phobia will differ from each other. 

However here are some possible causes which may contribute to a person developing a phobia:


. Genetics - Genetics may contribute to a person developing a phobia. If there is a family history of someone having a certain phobia it is possible that an individual may have developed the same phobia. Some people may be born with a propensity to be more anxious than others. 

. Incident/ Trauma - A phobia can be linked to a specific incident or trauma that an individual may have experienced. For example somebody who got trapped in a lift / elevator because it broke , may become fearful of using  a lift / elevator and develop a phobia of  using elevators. 

. Learned Responses - The family environment may be a factor that can contribute an individual to developing a phobia. A person may have picked up on a family members responses and anxieties  towards different things in their earlier life. 





Psychical And Emotional Response Of Having A Phobia     


Psychical 


  Sweating  

Short Of Breath

Chest Pains 

Fast heart rate

Dizziness / Fainting 

Butterflies in their tummy 

Tearful 

Feeling like their are going to be sick
        

Emotional 

Disappointed 

feeling stupid 

Useless 

Unhappy 

Distress 

Embarrassed

Defeated 

Fearful 

Lonely 

Worried               

Self Help


Lifestyle changes may help an individual reduce the symptoms of a phobia. Lifestyle changes may include: 

. Regular exercise

. Regular and balanced meals 

. Getting enough sleep 

. Avoiding things such as caffeine or other stimulants 

Another self help is " Self-exposure Therapy " which includes the following : 

Relaxation techniques such as a variety of physical exercise , breathing exercise , meditation or yoga. This may help an individual to have some control of their breathing when suffering the symptoms of a phobia. Self help groups may be useful for an individual with a phobia , as meeting other people who share similar experiences as the individual could be useful as they may share different coping mechanisms with each other. 





Help , Support And Treatment 

For individuals who are struggling with a phobia there is help and treatments available to support them.

Here are some options available who seek help :


Counselling - Counsellors will listen to individuals problems and help them find a way to overcome their problems. 

Psychotherapy - A psychotherapist will use a more direct and in - depth approach to find the cause of the individuals problems and suggests coping mechanisms to help deal with their problems.  

CBT - CBT is a type of counselling that explores the individuals thoughts , feelings and behaviour which will help find practical ways of dealing with the individuals phobia. 

Medication - Medication is not essential but may help a person suffering with a phobia which causes them to have anxiety symptoms may be useful to some individuals. 

GP - Making an appointment to see there doctor is important  for an individual to seek help for there concerns about their phobia. A doctor can provide help and information for the individual and will usually refer the individual for therapy. 



More Help And Information        


MIND.ORG

HELP GUIDE. ORG

TOPUK.ORG

PHOBIA.ABOUT.COM

RCPSYCH

MAYO CLINIC

NHS CHOICES

BUPA UK







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Love Ava 

xoxox