Nothing But Love.... But We Needed Help.... We Had No Food.

Hello everyone , I hope everyone has had a good week so far. So today on my blog I want to talk about something that has been close to home recently and effected my family a great deal especially earlier on this  year.
        January this year was a really tough time for my husband and I. We couldn't afford to pay for basic bills such as water , gas and electricity nevermind the other added bills. We was struggling to pay for food for our family which resulted in both of us selling alot of our belongings to put food on the table for our children, we both skipped meals to make sure our children was fed. We was both tired and fed up , despite my husband working full time he was getting very little pay which wasn't covering the cost of living and we wasn't entitled to any help . Family and friends offered us money for food but we turned them down knowing they was struggling themselves we didn't want to burden them with our problems.  
      The stress began to cause conflict between my husband and I but we carried on trying to get through it together . Not enough income meant missed and unpaid bills which meant debts began to add up . We had been struggling for awhile but by January it was a nightmare. Bailiffs and debt collectors turned up at the door scaring my children and I. This was breaking point for us.... the stress was too much for us both and we then agreed we should separate. My husband  left and within a few hours of leaving we both realised we needed each other. That's what families do , they stick together through hard times.  During this time of him leaving his car ended up been impounded while he was on the way to a family members house... lack of income... No bills paid. My husband works hard and it really isn't fair but it is just the way it is sometimes. We love each other and we stayed through it together even when our gas and electric got cut off and we had to spend the cold nights all in the same bed wrapped in blankets to keep us warm. we had nothing... Nothing but love for our two children and each other. We knew it was a hard time and hoped it wasn't going to last forever. But it didn't stop myself crying to my husband till I fell asleep because I felt a failure as a mother.
       During this time I was seeing a psychologist who specializes in autism who helped support me.  When she found out my husband and I was struggling she referred us to family first which is a programme which works with the local council to help struggling families. Family first helped us get the support we needed and provided us help from a food bank for 8 weeks , volunteers would kindly deliver us food parcels and nappies each week to help us get back on track. A lovely man who worked for family first helped us with getting help with our debts and finances so we could get everything under control. 
         Almost losing everything but our love for each other had a big impact on both our mental health. We felt so ashamed and depressed that we couldn't provide for our children and we was too embarrassed to ask for help. Help eventually came to us , but it doesn't for everyone don't be scared to speak out if you need help. They are so many people willing to help those who are struggling. 



                          some websites if you need help :)

                     https://www.turn2us.org.uk/


                    http://www.glasspool.org.uk/

                 
                   https://www.family-action.org.uk/



                https://www.onefamily.com/our-story/

The First Steps To Help Decrease Stress!

Identify The Possible Causes

It is important to identify and acknowledge the causes that are increasing stress. Being able to identify the causes will help in finding a solution or ways to decrease your stress.

Identify - Analyse - Solutions - Action Plan - Evaluate

( Problem Solving ) 

Where - When - How - What - Who - Why 

Work Life And Personal Life Balance    

Although everyone needs to work to earn a living , it is important to have a balance between your work life and your personal life. You need to ensure that your work life does not become your entire LIFE. It is important to have family time and some "ME"time to help you relax and enjoy life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break from work if your work life is having an mental , emotional and psychical effect on you. Your health is important and you deserve to be happy!  

Exercise!

Regular exercise is a good self-help to decrease stress. Physical exercise releases endorphins ( also known as "the happy hormones" ) in the body which helps the body to relax. Exercise does not have to include a high intensive workout , but can be something as simple as walking to the local shop. 

Let Yourself Relax

I know being stress you may find it difficult to let yourself relax , however it is important that you do! Find time and space to be alone just for an hour everyday or at least once a week to take time to relax. Do whatever helps you relax , it may be watching your favourite TV show , listening to some music , doing yoga or some breathing exercises , reading a book or taking a long relaxing bath. 

Lifestyle Changes /Choices 

Once you know the causes of what is making you stressed , it is important to make lifestyle changes to prevent any further stress. A healthy diet is important to decrease stress. Things such as smoking , alcohol and caffeine can have a negative effect of the body and increase stress levels , it is important to minimize your intake.

Sleep!

Sleeping problems are common for individuals under stress. However it is important that individuals get enough rest , there are different ways to help individuals sleep such as using essential oils , using lavender bath oils before bed , relaxation and meditation CD's or music. 

Know Your Limits 

You need to ensure you know your limits. It is ok to stop what you are doing and rest. You are only one person and there is only so much you can do. You can not take on the weight of the world by yourself and it is completely right for you to say "NO! I need to stop and rest."

Be Mindful 

Focus on the present moment and accept what is happening there and then in that moment , try not to stress or worry about the future or what is to come. Everything happens in its own way , no matter how unfair it may seem at the time. Problems always have a way of being resolved. Live for the now! 

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Understanding What Psychotic Depression Is!!!

Although many people suffer with depression , there are a hand full of individuals who suffer with Psychotic depression. Psychotic depression is on the severe scale on depression which leads the individual to loose sense of reality , psychotic depression can also effect a persons functional impairments. Psychotic depression can include sufferers to experience delusions which can lead to false beliefs about events that have or haven't occurred. As well as delusions , hallucinations are also common when suffering with psychotic depression. A person may see or hear things that are not really there . Although an individuals delusions and hallucinations  are not actually happening , it is feels very real for the individual which can be distressing especially when others are screaming and shouting " It is not real , it is not really happening!" For a person with psychotic depression it is very much there reality and it is important to understand that , in order to be able to help support and seek help for the individual. It is common the individual will disconnect and isolate  themselves from the outside world , spending a lot of time in bed because they can't control what is happening and struggle to make sense of the situation. A person who suffers with general depression will be able to identify there feelings of being depressed and why they feel depressed , whereas a person with psychotic depression has a loss of insight and are unable to recognise there odd and strange behaviours which means they are at a higher risk of possible suicide or harming themselves and others. 

Other Related Depression Blog Post's 

Understanding Depression And Knowing The Difference Between "Low Mood And Depression

Turning Negative Thoughts About Yourself Into Positive Thoughts About Yourself

5 Myths And Facts About Mental Health

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Self-Help Techniques For Sufferers With Anxiety

In today's society it is common that more than one in ten people suffer with anxiety and only a hand full of people will in actual fact seek professional guidance to help treat and support there anxiety. Like many others myself included who suffer with anxiety can often feel embarrassed and ashamed about discussing there anxiety problems with others. The shameful feeling often prevents the individual to seek help from a professional. 
            I personally have been in and out of therapy seeing professionals such as doctors , psychologists , psychiatrist, counsellors , mental health nurses and occupational therapists for the past 13 years for my anxieties problems. Unfortunately none of these interventions and professionals have been able to help me over the years , as I have always found it difficult to communicate with others and express my feelings . The more difficult I found it to talk about my anxieties problems , the more ashamed I was and became reluctant to share my feelings. However over the years I have picked up several self- help techniques to help with my anxiety which I would love to share with you all and will hopefully help others reading this blog post. Some techniques may work for some individuals and may not for others , it is important to find what is suited to your needs to help decrease your anxiety. 

Self-Help Techniques

1) Identify the triggers - Drawing out a mind map of what is making you anxious can be useful for some individuals as it helps identify the problem causes the anxiety. Analyse why it is making you feel anxious and then come up with possible solutions to help resolve what is making you anxious.

For example - There is an over crowded shopping centre , you begin to feel overwhelmed and your anxiety starts to increase. Find an empty bench , seat or an empty corner to seat on the floor if no seats are accessible. Take deep breaths and always have a pocket book or quiz book handy to help you focus on the book rather than your anxiety.

Key words: Identify , Problem solving , Trigger , Solutions 

2) Exercise -  Physical exercise can be a good self-help for anxiety as it releases endorphins ( also known as the happy hormones) in the body which creates a more positive feeling. Exercise does not have to be a intense exercise work out but can include , going for a long walk , hula hooping , swimming , dancing , tennis , yoga or even golf. 

Key words : Endorphins , Positive feeling , Exercise 

3) Diet -  It is important that an individual maintains a healthy balanced diet. Diet can be a big factor of triggering anxiety relating to a high volume of sugar and caffeine intake , as well as being dehydration . Sugar and caffeine can lead to anxiety symptoms because of the " Sugar rush" effect. 

Keywords: Balanced , Maintain , Sugar , Trigger

4) Keep a diary / journal - Keeping a diary or journal can help an individual to record and express there feelings and thoughts. Many find it useful to write there feelings as it has a sense of release for a person suffering with anxiety. It can also help to identify some of the problems you wasn't aware was a factor of your anxiety .

Keywords: Write , Feelings , Thoughts , Release 

5) Relaxation - Relaxation techniques may be helpful to some suffers with anxiety as it helps the individual to relax and focus on the relaxation techniques rather than their anxiety problems. Relaxation techniques can include , yoga , pilates , meditation and breathing exercises. Each of these techniques can be done from the comfort of your own home by following a DVD , CD or book.

DVD's 

Everyday Yoga For Stress Release £10.99

Yoga For Depression And Anxiety £10.68

Element Yoga For Stress Relief  £7.49 

CD's 

Relax Guided Meditations To Ease Stress And Anxiety  £12.95

Find Inner Peace  £8.99

Mindfulness £8.46

Books

The Anti-Anxiety Workbook £12.21

How To Master Anxiety  £7.22

Key Words : Relax , Meditation , Techniques

  

6) Complementary Therapies -  Some individuals may find complementary therapies such as spa treatments , massages and herbal products helpful. Individuals may find it relaxing and a way to help decrease stress and anxiety. 

  

7) Hobbies And Activities - Finding a hobby or activity that is of interest to you can be a helpful to decrease anxiety as it helps you to focus on something you enjoy and creates a more positive feeling , rather than focusing on your anxiety problems. Hobbies can include anything from art , photographer , dance , sports related activities , joining charity groups , music , reading or even gaming.  

Key words: Hobby , Focus , Positive 

Other Anxiety Related Blog Posts

Living With Anxiety And Understanding Anxiety

Understanding Phobias And The Difference Between Specific And Social Phobias

Understanding And Knowing Why People Self-Harm

Reading Is Good For The Mind

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Autism... The Difference Between Hypersensitive And Hyposensitive ( Sensory Stimulation )

Autism is such a variety of a spectrum , every individual is different and unique meaning each individual will react in different ways to sensory stimulation to each other. The two common responses to sensory stimulation are categorized into " Hypersensitive "and " Hyposesitive ." A person with Autism will often be either hypersensitive or hyposensitive , although that does not mean that an individual can not have characteristics of both categories , like myself! I have Autism and I have characteristics that are in both hypersensitive and hyposensitive. 

Hypersensitive 

Hypersensitive means that an individual with Autism will over react to specific sensory stimulations which a person with Autism would not be affected by.

An individual will often avoid the sensory that causes them distress and discomfort. The sensory that an individual can find sensitive can be anything related to sound , sight , touch , smell and taste. For people who do not have Autism or do not understand Autism the individual with Autism's reaction to a specific sensory may come across as over dramatic " Diva" or arrogant behaviour , without actually understand that the sensory distressing for the individual can sometimes be physically painful especially if the individual has a sensitivity to sight or sound.

Things I am personally sensitive too 

Sight : I am sensitive to specific colours such as bright yellow and orange. I find them painful and uncomfortable to look at. Which means  I often find it difficult to be out in the sun for long periods of time as the brightest is too painful and overwhelming. 

In my room I have dimmed lights because the bright lights are too much for me to handle and the same with the living room lights I use a lamp instead of the main lights.

Sound : I am sensitive to sounds such as a clock ticking , the radiator making a noise , scratching on clothing , paper and surfaces as well as tapping on surfaces , alarms and bells , lawnmowers or somebody making noises with their mouth. All these sounds often make feel very uneasy and distressed. 

Touch : Certain textures can make me very anxious such as suede , silk , dry skin , felt , crepe , wool and fur. 

Smell : Cleaning products , meat products or fast food smells can make me feel sick and I find it difficult to handle being around the smells. 

Hyposensitive 






Hyposensitive is the complete opposite to Hypersensitive , meaning the individual is under sensitive to sensory stimulation and can often be unresponsive to sensory. For example an individual may crave certain hot and spicy foods , but they have no awareness of the temperature of there food , which a person without Autism would be fully aware that their body would not be able to handle that temperature of heat , whereas a person with Autism who is Hyposensitive would not understand the danger of that. Another example is an individual with Autism who is Hyposensitive may not hear things being said verbally or sounds and noises such as alarms , loud music , doorbells , hoovers or lawnmowers and banging of items . Although there is nothing actually wrong with the individual's hearing in itself , but because of the abnormal information processing in the brain the individual may not be able to pick up on certain sounds and noises , which would make them appear unresponsive. 



Things I Can Be Under Sensitive Too




Sound - Although I am sensitive to certain sounds such as a clock ticking , the radiator making a noise , scratching on clothing , paper and surfaces as well as tapping on surfaces , alarms and bells , lawnmowers or somebody making noises with their mouth. I am very unresponsive to verbal communicate , I often can't hear people talking to me and I look to others ( My mum most of the time ) to try and explain what they have said because I can't physical hear them. Sometimes I don't even hear my mum or family members talking to me , or I only tune in at the end of what they are trying to tell me. My mum use to joke that it was selective hearing ( That is often how it can appear.)



Touch - I am fairly tolerant to psychical or self inflective  pain , as someone who use to self harm from being depressed I use to cut my wrists often and it wouldn't hurt even though wrists were a bloody mess , I wouldn't psychically feel " Pain " as such it was more a " Release" or "Relaxed " sensation. 



Body Awareness - I often rock and swing on chairs without realise I am doing it or fidget in a seated environment. I can be oblivious to peoples person space such as standing to close to them or unaware that I am in the way of them.

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