A Child With Autism Then Becomes An Adult With Autism ( School Struggles )

           

                       

Hello everybody! I hope everyone is well and has had a good week. I know I haven't posted in a while , I have been wiped out with morning sickness for the past few months. Yes that's right my husband and I are expecting baby number 3! It was a bit of a shock to say the least, but we have finally got our head around having another baby. 

   



                 
        Today's blog post I wanted to write about being an adult with autism. I have seen alot of parents recently post awareness about there child having autism especially since schools have started back. People seem to forget that children with autism grow up to be an adult with autism , those struggles that children face in school don't just fade away. I left high school a decade ago and I struggled a lot through both primary school and high school. The difficulties a faced then , I still face now. Although as adult you learn what works for you , what situation are going to overwhelm you or cause distress to you. As a child it is very confusing , you don't understand why you feel or see things a certain way which can cause so much anxiety for a child. Anxiety that a child is to young to understand why they feel that way and they can't explain it because they don't yet have the words to describe those feelings. 
         Sensory overload and anxiety have a big link for those with autism. As an adult you learn what kind of sensory overload can be distressing to you , so you take certain precautions to help you in that situation. For example noise is a big issue for me , so if I had to put myself in a situation where there is going to be a lot of noise , I would take some earphones to block out some of the noise or I would research the place to know my surroundings and see if I could find a quieter place. When you are a child with autism you don't have that understanding of why everything feels so loud , overwhelming and physically painful . If you are parent of a child with autism you might find your child tells you they have earache and although it might not be an infection earache , for your child it will feel that way because of how sensitive they are to sound. Unfortunately it still feels that way for an adult , but you learn what sounds your more sensitive too. 
    Does your child tell you to stop shouting at them? Even though you are not! The slightest change in the tone of your voice can make someone with autism feel like you are shouting at them. This happens a lot with my husband and he has to take his time to explain he wasn't shouting at me although it feels like he is. This can be extremely hard for children especially in a school environment it can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. 
     It is very important that a child with autism has support throughout school life , that teachers and other professional are made aware of an individuals struggles. This will help a child with autism have a less daunting school experience. Unfortunately I didn't have support throughout school life despite my mum fighting my corner for me to get the right support , I never got it. School failed me and many others my age , this has effected me as an adult as I haven't yet been able to go into a work role. I went back education on my own doing long distance learning and was able to pass all my courses but during school years I ended up missing a lot of school due to a lack of support and severe anxiety.  Work is something I would love to do , however been classed as" disabled"  has it limitation. Sometimes that is all people see you as and they think you are incapable of being able to do things just because you struggle more than others. I haven't been given the opportunity to be in a work role in fact I once got told I wasn't mentally well enough to work , which really knocked my confidence. 
      I am so happy that in the past few years more awareness of what autism is has been made aware. Hopefully this help children more , when I was a child there wasn't much knowledge or education on the subject , so its great to see people speak and stand up for those with autism. Autism is such a big spectrum that people don't even realise how big it is.  We all struggle in different ways and no two people with autism are the same , we may have similarities but we are all unique and different to each other , just like individuals without autism. 





                                    Thank you reading :)

                                      Love Ava 

                                        xoxo

The Suicidal Thoughts You Keep Fighting Everyday Part 2 - Exhausted With Anxiety

Hello everyone I hope you are all well and  have had a good weekend. 

 The past week has been an dreadful week , my anxiety has been frightening to say the least and I feel like I am going backwards instead of forwards. I have had an anxiety attack everyday this week and I do not know what the cause of it is. I am feeling exhausted and drained. One minute I am fine the next minute I feel like i am being choked , like I can't breathe properly and I feel like my airways are being cut off. My chest constantly feels heavy , and I keep becoming dizzy and feel sick. For the past year I have had some strange phobia of eating and drinking things , I feel like my throat is going to close up and I am going to stop breathing even if I have eaten that food before. It is becoming a constant daily battle with these anxiety attacks and I am very scared. I have suffered with anxiety most of my life but over the past year I seem to be experiencing different symptoms to what I have experienced before and it is frightening. Usually I know how to help calm myself in anxious situations , but these symptoms are different and I don't feel I have any control of what my body is doing. I am tired and drained , my anxiety is making it hard to cope with daily life and it is hard to cope with two babies when you can't keep yourself calm. I feel guilty that my 2 year old daughter knows that something is wrong with me when I am crying and she says "mummy is crying , you are fine mummy it is okay and rubs my back and hugs me." 
I wish my anxiety would stop , it is becoming so hard to go on each day fighting strong when you know your going to keep being hit with a wave of anxiety at anytime. I constantly feel like there is a lump in my throat. I cry everyday at the moment wishing I would stop feeling like this. My anxiety is making me not want to be here anymore , So I decided to go back to the doctors for help , because I can not cope anymore. I feel like a burden to everyone around me , I feel like they would be better of without me. I am so exhausted , I can't sleep properly , I am hungry all the time because anxiety burns energy off and then I get angry at myself for being hungry. It is a vicious circle. I just want it to stop so I can at least go out for one day without having to run back to the car crying can we go home. 

Thank You For Reading 

Love Ava

xox

The Suicidal Thoughts You Keep Fighting Everyday

   

Hello everyone , I hope everyone has had a lovely weekend. Today on my blog I am going to talk about something that I have been recently struggling with and I know many others have been too. I think the more we encourage others to talk about how we feel then maybe those who suffer with mental health will be less fearful of asking for help and we can try a fight this battle together. 
  In 2015 I wrote a blog post about my attempted suicide due to being bullied ( LINK ) in 2011 when I was 17. I am now 24 years old and haven't since tried , yes I have self harmed and punished myself in other ways. I fight those thoughts everyday of not wanting to be here anymore. When I was 17 I didn't think I had a future ahead of me , I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel , I just wanted my life to end. I have those days still but I have two children and a husband now who keep me going , I keep holding on fighting. It is hard when you say you don't want to be here anymore , but people around you tell you not to be silly your children need you. Sometimes I feel like they are better of without me , that I am a failure of mother to them , that they deserve so much more than me as a mum. Although I feel that , I also know that in a world of bad things around them , they need there mother to project them and that is me , my job to protect them. There are days where I want to hurt and punish myself but I resit the urge too , then I feel nothing but guilt for not punishing myself . I feel worthless most days , like I am not good enough or don't deserve to live.  I have been to professionals many times for help and there answer seems to be medication , it may work for some people but for me personally is not a route I want to go down again. Before my children where born I was on venlafaxine for years after trying many different medication for depression and anxiety , venlafaxine didn't fix my problems but it kept me stable enough for me to get out of bed in the mornings. If any of you have been on anxiety or anti - depression medication you will know it can cause side effects. I want to keep a clear mind as possible around my children. So I set tasks to get me through the day to stay focused on something else instead of those nasty thoughts. They don't completely go away but they put them on hold for awhile just so I can get through my day. I do often get distressed and emotional and end up calling my husband at work so he can help calm me down and if i can't get hold of him I video message my mum. Sometimes I get scared and think I can't control myself and will do something silly and hurt myself when I feel so low. I feel so alone most days , I know my family loves me but I can't seem to shake the feeling of loneliness. I know many others are fighting this battle too and it needs to be spoken about more. I don't want to see more people take there life because they where to afraid to ask for help.
    I am going to leave my post there and post an update on this subject in a few weeks time.

Thank you for reading 

Love Ava 

xoxo

Understanding Living With And The Different Types Of Anxiety

Hello everyone! :) I hope everyone is well and has had a great weekend.Today's blog post it about " Understanding different types of anxiety".

 It is not uncommon that every person will experience some kind of anxiety in their life , however there is a difference between experiencing anxiety and living with anxiety. When you are living with anxiety ,it is something you face everyday and is usually a life long disorder you will have to cope with throughout your life. Some people are diagnosed very young and some people may be diagnosed later on in life with an anxiety disorder , in my case I was 8 years old and was having counselling with CAMHS ( Child Adolescent Mental Health Service ) .
        When you are living with anxiety not every person with an anxiety disorder with experience the same anxiety and symptoms you will experience , each person is different. 
The 5 most common types of anxiety disorders are Generalized Anxiety , Obsessive Compulsive Disorder , Panic Disorder , Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Social Phobia / Social Anxiety Disorder. Each of these 5 disorders can link into each other depending on the person and how they cope with there personal circumstances , for example I have generalized anxiety but I also suffer with social anxiety and panic disorder , Where as somebody else who suffers with an anxiety disorder might only suffer with OCD ( Obsessive compulsive Disorder ). 

Generalized Anxiety  - Generalized anxiety is characterized by excessive and exaggerated worry or concern about most things in that person's life which may be very little to worry about , but because of there anxiety disorder there worries are hugely emphasized more than they should be even when things have not occurred yet or may not occur at all the worry is still there constantly. 


OCD ( Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ) -  Obsessive compulsive disorder is when a person's unwanted thoughts becomes obsessive and there behavior becomes repetitive. People who suffer with OCD normally have obsessive behavior with things such as washing , counting , checking , cleaning. This usually will cause a lot of anxiety for the individual until the task is done , however does not get rid of anxiety but gives the individual a sense of temporary relief. 



Panic Disorder -  Panic disorder is another type of anxiety disorder where a person's anxiety can become present unexpectedly which can then duplicate there feeling of fear which will often result in a panic attack. The individual may experience physical symptoms such as chest pain , heart palpitations , shortness of breath , dizziness and abdominal pain. 


PTSD ( Post - Traumatic Stress Disorder ) -  PTSD is an anxiety disorder that develops after a traumatic event has occurred or a person may have experienced such a been threaten or harmed / assaulted ,natural or human caused tragedies and accidents. The person suffering from PTSD might experience flash backs or bad dreams of there trauma  and may experience physical symptoms.


Social Phobia - Social Phobia is when a person is overwhelmed with anxiety in everyday social situations. The individual can become fearful of been in social situations because of there anxiety and can often make the person want to avoid being in a social environment which could often make the individual hide away from society . The individual may feel very self-conscious in front of other people and worried about feeling humiliated, embarrassed, or rejected, or fearful of offending others. They may also have a hard time speaking to others and making friends.


     Physical Symptoms A Sufferer Of Anxiety May feel

• nervousness, restlessness, or being tense
• feelings of danger, panic, or dread
• rapid heart rate
• rapid breathing, or hyperventilation
• increased or heavy sweating
• trembling or muscle twitching
• weakness and lethargy
• difficulty focusing or thinking clearly about anything other than the thing you’re worried about
• insomnia
• digestive or gastrointestinal problems, such as gas, constipation, or diarrhea
• a strong desire to avoid the things that trigger your anxiety
• performing certain behaviors over and over again

• palpitations
• sweating
• shaking or trembling
• feeling shortness of breath or smothering
• sensation of choking
• chest pains or tightness
• nausea or gastrointestinal problems
• dizziness, light-headedness, or feeling faint
• feeling hot or cold
• numbness or tingling sensations 
• feeling detached from oneself or reality
• fear of “going crazy” or losing control
• fear of dying

If you are struggling to cope with anxiety disorder take a look at the following sites below for support :

https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/

http://www.sane.org.uk/home

https://www.nopanic.org.uk/

https://turn2me.org/page/anxiety-disorder-guide

https://www.mind.org.uk/

Thank you for reading :) 

Love Ava 

xox

Anorexia , Being A Mum & Body Changes

Hello everyone , I hope everyone is doing well. It has been a long time since I last posted a blog post on my mental health blog , I think the last time I posted my beautiful eldest daughter Daisie- Mae was about 6 months old , she is now 2 years old already!!! I also have a new addition to my family another beautiful daughter called Luna-Rose who is 9 weeks old. You could definitely say I have been busy and had my hands full with a new baby and 2 year old who has just hit the terrible twos. 

Today's post is about Anorexia and body changes which is something I have been struggling with lately. Those who have read my blog before will know I have struggled with anorexia for a long time and is still an on going battle. Although my eating habits have changes since I have had my two daughters , i don't starve myself  like I did before I had children. My eating habits might not what people consider enough for an average person but baby steps I suppose. My partner Alex is a big influence of taking steps forwards rather than backwards , he knows my limits , he knows when I cant eat anymore and he knows not to force me or over encourage me to eat. One of the main problems when you struggle with anorexia is that when it comes to food the emotion you feel guilt. Alex has always understood my guilt towards food and consistently reassures me that I should never feel guilty for eating. Does it help? No, the guilt never goes away but his reassurance lets me know he is there for me and will help me through it. 

After having two babies , my body has changed my hips are wider , my boobs have doubled in size and so has my bum. Most people would be happy about there boobs and bum getting bigger right? Well for someone who struggles with body image it just feels like more fat to add to the scales. When I had my eldest daughter my body bounced back to the size I was before I had her , but then again i hardly showed when I was pregnant with Daisie-Mae , even when I was in labour  in the delivery suite the doctor asked where was my bump because I didn't look pregnant. When pregnant with Luna-Rose I had a much bigger bump and you could visibly tell I was pregnant , my body hasn't bounce back the same as it did with Daisie-Mae  , which I have found incredibly mentally difficult to cope with. 

I know I need to accept that I have give birth to two babies and my body isn't going to be the same anymore. 

I came to the realization of this last week when I was out shopping with my mum and daughters , I spotted gorgeous lace purple dress I wanted to buy , I dont usually try on clothes in shops but I found the courage to go and try it on. My mum sat on the seats with my daughters in the changing room area , I put the dress on and I had the curtain open so my mum could help zip the zipper up. The shop assiatnat who worked the changing room area saw i needed some help with the zipper and she came across. She didnt either touch the zipper and said " Well that is not going to zip up , you need a bigger size" My heart just dropped and I looked back at my mum trying to fight back my tears. I know the shop assistant was just doing her job and she didn't know I struggle with body image but it destroyed me , my first reaction in my head was that she was calling me fat. The lady asked if i wanted the next size up , I declined got back dressed into my own clothes and I left that shop feeling devastated. It is one thing to know in your head your body has changed but then too hear it , is very grueling inside. 

I am going to finish tonight post here and continue to update my blog as regular as I can :) 

Goodnight 

Ava 

xox

5 Ways Which Help Reduce My Anxiety Symptoms

Hello everyone :)  I hope everyone is well and has had a lovely weekend ! :)
    If you have been following my mental health blog for awhile now you may know I have suffered with  severe  anxiety and panic attacks for a long time and thought I would share with you different ways which help my anxiety reduce when I experience symptoms.

1. When I am at home, mainly during the evening or night time I will get more anxious about things because your body starts to switch off and tend to over think things at night time. I have a news and magazine app on my phone which I will lie down on my side in bed and will read the news to distract myself when I experience symptoms of anxiety , which will help me focus on something else rather than my anxiety. 




2. Crossword or word puzzles are also another way to help me reduce my anxiety symptoms as again it helps take my mind of focusing on what is making me anxious at the time. 





3. If I am at home one of the symptoms I often experience with anxiety is shaking and my body goes ice cold so I have a hot bath or shower with some music on my phone left on the side of the cabinet to help me stop shaking. 





4. In whatever situation I am in , if I am at home or out and about , whenever I feel like my anxiety is increasing I phone my mum to help calm me down. Talking to my mum helps my anxiety decrease and turn my attention onto concentrating on the conversation with my mum. Phoning a loved one or friend who understands your anxiety might help reduce your symptoms of anxiety. 




5. Now I know not everyone has a car , and I cant drive myself but my fiance will often take me on long drives to help calm my anxiety. Ever since I was a child I have always found long drives calming and has often help decrease my anxiety symptoms as I concentrate more on my surroundings of which I see rather than what is making me anxiety at that moment. 








                                   Thank you for reading :)
                                          Love Ava
                                               xox

                                      

ANXIETY

Hello everyone , its been about 6 months since I posted on my mental health blog ,if you are someone who regularly read my blog I apologize for the none existence posts over the last 6 months. 
    Truth be told I haven't had time to blog , being a mummy to a 1 year old takes up a lot of time but now Daisie-Mae is getting more settled into a routine I am able to sit down once in awhile for 10 minutes or so. 
    Over the passed couple of months haven't been easy and my anxiety is worse than ever and most days I feel like I cant breathe. Planning a wedding , being cheated on , cancelling a wedding , my mum losing her job and coming to terms with being " disabled " I know as her only child it is my role now to help take care of her but I am worried I wont be good enough and will feel useless to help her needs , being accused of something that wasn't true and been reported to social services , death in the family , my daughter constantly being in pain with her tummy due to constant constipation with several trips to the doctors and A&E and still been in pain from birth from over a year ago because my lady part  stitches healed to tight which causes pain going to the toilet and intimate pain.
Lets just say I have had my hands full. 

     If anyone suffers from anxiety you will know understand what I mean when I say you don't know how to control it. Over the past couple of months my anxiety has increased and become worse. I feel like I can't breathe , I feel like someone is choking me constantly and I become scared that I am going to stop breathing. 
My anxiety attacks can happen at any time of the day but happen regularly during the night while I am in bed and I start shaking and become cold , I end up waking up and disturbing my partner because I cant calm myself and become tearful , my chest starts hurting and I feel like I am having a heart attack , I feel dizzy and faint and start screaming phone an ambulance because I become fearful. Anxiety mimics the symptoms of a heart attack so it becomes hard to recognize when you need medical help and when you can't calm yourself you don't know what to do. I am scared of being alone and I feel like I am becoming a burden to those around me and feel like everyone is better off without me , but I have to keep going for my daughter. I am fed up of constantly feeling in pain having body aches and pains , feeling like I am not in control of my body . I haven't been on anxiety tablets for two years and I am really trying my hardest not to go back on them as I suffered with side effects with them such as feeling sick , migraines and headaches. I am at a loss at the moment and feel fearful of my anxiety. I have always been able to help decrease my symptoms in the past , but recently I feel like I cant help myself or do not know what to do anymore.

Anxiety is something I have had since I was 9 years old or at least that is when I was diagnosed with anxiety. During the past year I have experienced different symptoms to anxiety which is very new to me and is scary to experience which makes me feel less in-control of myself  because I cant always predict when an anxiety attack will occur , previously I could recognize symptoms to get myself out of the situation that was making me anxious , where as now my attacks can happen spontaneously and sometimes I dont even know why I am anxious. 

I wish there was a magic wand that could make anxiety disappear  but there isn't. I am sure many of you who suffer with anxiety understand how I feel , anxiety is a lot more common than people think and it is important that it is talked about its something people all ages and all genders deal with and no matter how scary it is , it needs to be talked about to help each other. 





                     

Ava 

xoxo

The First Steps To Help Decrease Stress!

Identify The Possible Causes

It is important to identify and acknowledge the causes that are increasing stress. Being able to identify the causes will help in finding a solution or ways to decrease your stress.

Identify - Analyse - Solutions - Action Plan - Evaluate

( Problem Solving ) 

Where - When - How - What - Who - Why 

Work Life And Personal Life Balance    

Although everyone needs to work to earn a living , it is important to have a balance between your work life and your personal life. You need to ensure that your work life does not become your entire LIFE. It is important to have family time and some "ME"time to help you relax and enjoy life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break from work if your work life is having an mental , emotional and psychical effect on you. Your health is important and you deserve to be happy!  

Exercise!

Regular exercise is a good self-help to decrease stress. Physical exercise releases endorphins ( also known as "the happy hormones" ) in the body which helps the body to relax. Exercise does not have to include a high intensive workout , but can be something as simple as walking to the local shop. 

Let Yourself Relax

I know being stress you may find it difficult to let yourself relax , however it is important that you do! Find time and space to be alone just for an hour everyday or at least once a week to take time to relax. Do whatever helps you relax , it may be watching your favourite TV show , listening to some music , doing yoga or some breathing exercises , reading a book or taking a long relaxing bath. 

Lifestyle Changes /Choices 

Once you know the causes of what is making you stressed , it is important to make lifestyle changes to prevent any further stress. A healthy diet is important to decrease stress. Things such as smoking , alcohol and caffeine can have a negative effect of the body and increase stress levels , it is important to minimize your intake.

Sleep!

Sleeping problems are common for individuals under stress. However it is important that individuals get enough rest , there are different ways to help individuals sleep such as using essential oils , using lavender bath oils before bed , relaxation and meditation CD's or music. 

Know Your Limits 

You need to ensure you know your limits. It is ok to stop what you are doing and rest. You are only one person and there is only so much you can do. You can not take on the weight of the world by yourself and it is completely right for you to say "NO! I need to stop and rest."

Be Mindful 

Focus on the present moment and accept what is happening there and then in that moment , try not to stress or worry about the future or what is to come. Everything happens in its own way , no matter how unfair it may seem at the time. Problems always have a way of being resolved. Live for the now! 

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Love Ava

xoxo

Self-Help Techniques For Sufferers With Anxiety

In today's society it is common that more than one in ten people suffer with anxiety and only a hand full of people will in actual fact seek professional guidance to help treat and support there anxiety. Like many others myself included who suffer with anxiety can often feel embarrassed and ashamed about discussing there anxiety problems with others. The shameful feeling often prevents the individual to seek help from a professional. 
            I personally have been in and out of therapy seeing professionals such as doctors , psychologists , psychiatrist, counsellors , mental health nurses and occupational therapists for the past 13 years for my anxieties problems. Unfortunately none of these interventions and professionals have been able to help me over the years , as I have always found it difficult to communicate with others and express my feelings . The more difficult I found it to talk about my anxieties problems , the more ashamed I was and became reluctant to share my feelings. However over the years I have picked up several self- help techniques to help with my anxiety which I would love to share with you all and will hopefully help others reading this blog post. Some techniques may work for some individuals and may not for others , it is important to find what is suited to your needs to help decrease your anxiety. 

Self-Help Techniques

1) Identify the triggers - Drawing out a mind map of what is making you anxious can be useful for some individuals as it helps identify the problem causes the anxiety. Analyse why it is making you feel anxious and then come up with possible solutions to help resolve what is making you anxious.

For example - There is an over crowded shopping centre , you begin to feel overwhelmed and your anxiety starts to increase. Find an empty bench , seat or an empty corner to seat on the floor if no seats are accessible. Take deep breaths and always have a pocket book or quiz book handy to help you focus on the book rather than your anxiety.

Key words: Identify , Problem solving , Trigger , Solutions 

2) Exercise -  Physical exercise can be a good self-help for anxiety as it releases endorphins ( also known as the happy hormones) in the body which creates a more positive feeling. Exercise does not have to be a intense exercise work out but can include , going for a long walk , hula hooping , swimming , dancing , tennis , yoga or even golf. 

Key words : Endorphins , Positive feeling , Exercise 

3) Diet -  It is important that an individual maintains a healthy balanced diet. Diet can be a big factor of triggering anxiety relating to a high volume of sugar and caffeine intake , as well as being dehydration . Sugar and caffeine can lead to anxiety symptoms because of the " Sugar rush" effect. 

Keywords: Balanced , Maintain , Sugar , Trigger

4) Keep a diary / journal - Keeping a diary or journal can help an individual to record and express there feelings and thoughts. Many find it useful to write there feelings as it has a sense of release for a person suffering with anxiety. It can also help to identify some of the problems you wasn't aware was a factor of your anxiety .

Keywords: Write , Feelings , Thoughts , Release 

5) Relaxation - Relaxation techniques may be helpful to some suffers with anxiety as it helps the individual to relax and focus on the relaxation techniques rather than their anxiety problems. Relaxation techniques can include , yoga , pilates , meditation and breathing exercises. Each of these techniques can be done from the comfort of your own home by following a DVD , CD or book.

DVD's 

Everyday Yoga For Stress Release £10.99

Yoga For Depression And Anxiety £10.68

Element Yoga For Stress Relief  £7.49 

CD's 

Relax Guided Meditations To Ease Stress And Anxiety  £12.95

Find Inner Peace  £8.99

Mindfulness £8.46

Books

The Anti-Anxiety Workbook £12.21

How To Master Anxiety  £7.22

Key Words : Relax , Meditation , Techniques

  

6) Complementary Therapies -  Some individuals may find complementary therapies such as spa treatments , massages and herbal products helpful. Individuals may find it relaxing and a way to help decrease stress and anxiety. 

  

7) Hobbies And Activities - Finding a hobby or activity that is of interest to you can be a helpful to decrease anxiety as it helps you to focus on something you enjoy and creates a more positive feeling , rather than focusing on your anxiety problems. Hobbies can include anything from art , photographer , dance , sports related activities , joining charity groups , music , reading or even gaming.  

Key words: Hobby , Focus , Positive 

Other Anxiety Related Blog Posts

Living With Anxiety And Understanding Anxiety

Understanding Phobias And The Difference Between Specific And Social Phobias

Understanding And Knowing Why People Self-Harm

Reading Is Good For The Mind

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Love Ava

xoxo