A Child With Autism Then Becomes An Adult With Autism ( School Struggles )

           

                       

Hello everybody! I hope everyone is well and has had a good week. I know I haven't posted in a while , I have been wiped out with morning sickness for the past few months. Yes that's right my husband and I are expecting baby number 3! It was a bit of a shock to say the least, but we have finally got our head around having another baby. 

   



                 
        Today's blog post I wanted to write about being an adult with autism. I have seen alot of parents recently post awareness about there child having autism especially since schools have started back. People seem to forget that children with autism grow up to be an adult with autism , those struggles that children face in school don't just fade away. I left high school a decade ago and I struggled a lot through both primary school and high school. The difficulties a faced then , I still face now. Although as adult you learn what works for you , what situation are going to overwhelm you or cause distress to you. As a child it is very confusing , you don't understand why you feel or see things a certain way which can cause so much anxiety for a child. Anxiety that a child is to young to understand why they feel that way and they can't explain it because they don't yet have the words to describe those feelings. 
         Sensory overload and anxiety have a big link for those with autism. As an adult you learn what kind of sensory overload can be distressing to you , so you take certain precautions to help you in that situation. For example noise is a big issue for me , so if I had to put myself in a situation where there is going to be a lot of noise , I would take some earphones to block out some of the noise or I would research the place to know my surroundings and see if I could find a quieter place. When you are a child with autism you don't have that understanding of why everything feels so loud , overwhelming and physically painful . If you are parent of a child with autism you might find your child tells you they have earache and although it might not be an infection earache , for your child it will feel that way because of how sensitive they are to sound. Unfortunately it still feels that way for an adult , but you learn what sounds your more sensitive too. 
    Does your child tell you to stop shouting at them? Even though you are not! The slightest change in the tone of your voice can make someone with autism feel like you are shouting at them. This happens a lot with my husband and he has to take his time to explain he wasn't shouting at me although it feels like he is. This can be extremely hard for children especially in a school environment it can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. 
     It is very important that a child with autism has support throughout school life , that teachers and other professional are made aware of an individuals struggles. This will help a child with autism have a less daunting school experience. Unfortunately I didn't have support throughout school life despite my mum fighting my corner for me to get the right support , I never got it. School failed me and many others my age , this has effected me as an adult as I haven't yet been able to go into a work role. I went back education on my own doing long distance learning and was able to pass all my courses but during school years I ended up missing a lot of school due to a lack of support and severe anxiety.  Work is something I would love to do , however been classed as" disabled"  has it limitation. Sometimes that is all people see you as and they think you are incapable of being able to do things just because you struggle more than others. I haven't been given the opportunity to be in a work role in fact I once got told I wasn't mentally well enough to work , which really knocked my confidence. 
      I am so happy that in the past few years more awareness of what autism is has been made aware. Hopefully this help children more , when I was a child there wasn't much knowledge or education on the subject , so its great to see people speak and stand up for those with autism. Autism is such a big spectrum that people don't even realise how big it is.  We all struggle in different ways and no two people with autism are the same , we may have similarities but we are all unique and different to each other , just like individuals without autism. 





                                    Thank you reading :)

                                      Love Ava 

                                        xoxo

I Vlogged Throughout The Month Of April For Autism Awareness Month

Hello everyone , I hope everyone is well and are having a good week so far. If you have read my blog for awhile now you will know that I am Autistic. April was Autism Awareness month , so throughout the month of April I vlogged each day on my instagram stories to show what it is like living with Autism. After my first few videos I received messages of encouragement and support from people which was lovely and they continued to watch my videos throughout the month of april. I found it very hard at first to talk to the camera , I felt a little bit stupid talking to myself at first really , it took me at least 10 times to film my first video because I felt so embarrassed , I thought I was making a fool of myself. Peoples support really helped me to continuing making videos and as the month went on I find more confidence in myself to make videos. 
       By the second week of april I had some lovely messages from people telling me they enjoyed watching my videos which made me feel like I was doing something right. My husband is my number one supporter and he kept telling me how proud he was of me for showing people the difficulties individuals with Autism face each day.  I also shared stories about my mental health and struggles too , which alot people seemed to be able to relate too. I had a few messages asking where to go for help and wanted some guidance which I was happy to help with. I am always happy to people when they need. 
      By the third week ,some people had made fake accounts to message me , to tell me things that was obviously was going to upset me. I found that very upsetting and it caused alot of stress for me. During the same week alot of things happened in our family which caused stress and upset for my family which didnt help when my head felt all over the place anyway. I felt drained and I didnt feel motivated to do videos but I carried on doing them even if it was just little ones throughout the day. I started to feel better by week 4 and carried on vlogging my day and I was still receiving nice messages from people which certainly out weighed the upset from silly fake accounts. 
           The last day of April came which meant last day of vlogging for Autism awareness. I received some messages asking to continue with my videos and that they enjoyed watching. I wasnt too sure at first if I wanted to continue vlogging , I actually found it quite hard to remember to vlog things. I thought about it overnight and decided I would continue to make videos but not everyday , I didnt want to put too much pressure on myself to do it everyday. It really meant alot to me those who watched and supported me , all I have ever wanted to do is to help people and I hope my videos do help people even if it is just one person that would be great. 




If you are interested in watching my videos/ stories my instagram is
                                xovintagewayoflifexo




                                 Love Ava xox
                              

The Suicidal Thoughts You Keep Fighting Everyday PART 3 - Medication Problems , Financial Stress & Feeling Scared

Hello everyone , I hope everyone is well and looking forward to there weekend.

 Personally the past couple of weeks have been mentally draining and in my last blog post I talked about how I was struggling to cope with my anxiety and that I made the decision to go back to the doctors and ask for help. 
The outcome of that was that I was put back on anti-depressants venafalxine  , however I reacted to the medication prescribed and ended up been taken into hospital in an ambulance , which I am still struggling to understand why I reacted to it when I had venaflaxine for years but stopped taking them when I found out I was pregnant with my eldest daughter. After my hospital trip I went back to my doctor and he agreed medication would not be best for me , especially when my anxiety revolves around what is put in my body it is just going to cause more anxiety and distress.
I am trying to get through each day , I feel mentally , physically and emotionally drained. 
Financial stress and worry is not helping my anxiety either. My husband and I are struggling financial , struggling to pay bills and to put food on the table each week. There is sometimes weeks we avoid food shopping because we know we cant afford it , we always make sure are children are fed and there is always something there for them but there is times were we have skipped meals so there is enough food to last the rest of the week. The financial stress is causing arguments between us which I suppose finance is one of the most common things couples fight. It is just constantly one thing after another money wise , there is more going out than there is coming in. 
My anxiety is making me want to hurt myself because that is the only way I can feel any release from it. I am scared of myself and I sometimes think I am my own worst enemy. I feel nothing but hate towards myself at the moment , I sometimes feel like I want to run away and hide but I know my babies need me even if I feel like the worst mum in the world. They are the reason I am still here fighting everyday. Any happiness I feel , a constant unnerving  feeling of guilt always seems to be in the my stomach. It is a constant vicious circle....




I am going to leave today's blog post there and continue with updates.

Thank you for reading 

Love Ava

xox

How To Help Support Individuals With Autism Daily Routines

Every individual with autism has their own daily routine to help them live their everyday life , just like a neurotypical (individual's without autism) do to. Although a neurotypical individual's routine is not as extreme as an individual with autism , it is important to help support an individual with autism's routine. Supporting an individual can help the person with autism to achieve their goals , targets and help them live a normal life as possible.

Visual Supports :  Visual supports can be a very useful way to help individuals with autism , as they might find visual supports easier to understand and communicate with. It is important to consider an individual's communication preference in order to support the individual with autism . Not every individual with autism will need visual supports ,but for individuals who do may include the follow :

. Photos 
. Pictures 
. Symbols
. Real Objects 
. Calendars 








Colour Coding : Another way to help support an individual with autism's routine is colour coding , this may help the individual understand what tasks and responsibilities are compulsory to carry out and which are moderate. 
For example :
Red - Urgent
Yellow - Pending
Green - No rush 
This will help keep a structure and routine for the individual with autism in order for them to carry out their daily routines. 

    




Lists :  Many individuals without autism often use lists to remind themselves of things they need to do. This also can help individuals with autism to help organise and prioritise things they need to do. Lists can be written or they can be visual by using pictures or symbols. Individuals with autism need structure and creating lists can help provide reassurance for them to see their achievements.


For example : 

   






Electrical Equipment : Computers and mobile phones may be a useful way to help support an individual with autism as you can store information and set reminders on electrical equipment. 
For example :

-  Storing important information such as dates and times for social events , meetings , appointments and special occasions.

- Setting reminders relating to paying bills ( adults with autism ) 

- Texting an individual with a reminder to do something.



 








Task boxes , envelopes and files : Work and tasks can be sorted into set places such as task boxes , envelopes and files to help make sure the individual with autism does not misplace important information such as bills , letters and appointment cards and reminders. 

       






Social stories and comic strip conversations : For individuals with autism who struggle with verbal communication may find social stories and comic strip conversations easier to understand and can help their daily routine. 



 

 





Teaching materials for time and sequence : Teaching materials can include things such as sequence cards , games , timers and clocks can be used to help support an individual with autism daily routine. This can help the individual understand concept of time and schedules. Teaching materials can be used for a variety of different scenarios and tasks.
For example : 
- Completing everyday tasks around the home environment.
- Helping complete tasks in a working environment. 
- Learning activities in education.
- Planning meetings , appointments and social events and occasions.
- To help in travelling and using transport.


    

Household tasks : When it comes household tasks helping to provide a schedule , calender or rota for an individual with autism can help support them to have a structured routine each day.
For example :
Monday - Do the washing , drying , ironing and put away in wardrobes.
Tuesday - Doctors appointment at 2pm , post mail at the post office and prepare tea.
Wednesday - organise bills , clean bathroom and kitchen.
Etc...

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Love Ava 
xoxo

The Day-To-Day Difficulties That An Individual With A Mental Health Problem/ Condition Will Face

Many people who do not have a mental health problem/ condition or an understanding of the topic, often have an unintentional ignorance of understanding how difficult day-to-day life can be and how demanding and stressful life can be for an individual with a mental health problem. 

Every individual with a mental health problem day-to-day difficulties will differ, not every person will experience the same difficulties as each other, but will have an understanding of how hard others may find it due to the struggles they experience themselves. 

Day - To - Day Difficulties 

Coping With Day-To-Day Activities -  

Depending on the extent of the individuals illness ,individuals may experience struggling with preparing meals , getting dressed , personal hygiene , cleaning the house , looking after children and following a routine / schedule. 

Coping Financially -

People suffering with a mental health problem/condition may find their finances difficult to cope with. Individuals may struggle with budgeting, planning and keeping track of bills and payments. 

Employment 

Mental health problems/conditions can effect an individuals employment opportunities. A person with mental health problems may find it difficult to communicate and engage within the working environment. Deadlines and managing their work may be struggling for the individual due to the stresses of their mental health condition.  

Self-Image 

Mental health conditions can affect a person's self-esteem and how they view themselves. Self-hate and anger towards themselves can often lead the individual into a depressive state of mind and could increase further mental health problems. 

Education 

Like employment a person's education could be affect if suffering with a mental health problem , due to their social and communication abilities. The individual may isolate themselves from others around and find it difficult to concentrate on there education.   

Relationships

Mental health problems/conditions can have a negative impact on the sufferers relationships. The individual can often isolate themselves from loved ones and lack communication. This could cause stresses for others around including the sufferer. 

Sleep

It is common that individuals with mental health problems/conditions have difficult sleeping due to their anxieties and stresses they face. Lack of sleep can often lead to sleeping disorders because of being trapped in a routine of having lack of sleep. 

Eating

Individuals with a mental health problem/condition are more likely to have dysfunctional eating habits , whether it is over eating due to feeling comfort from food or starving themselves due to having a lack of appetite. Both could lead to eating disorders and become very unhealthy for the individual.   

Psychical Health 

A person psychical health could also be affected because of the pressure and stress the sufferers mental health condition can cause. For example somebody who sufferers with serve anxiety could lead the individual to have blood pressure problems. 

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Love Ava 
xoxo

I Almost Lost My Baby.... My Pregnancy Story

Finding Out I Was Pregnant 

Throughout the whole of September I felt very unwell, constant migraines, tummy pains, nausea, light headed and I had little energy to do things. I thought I had a tummy bug and head cold, it didn't occur to me for one second that I was pregnant as I was on the pill. As the pill is supposedly 99% effective, I trusted that I was being safe; however it didn't cross my mind that when you were ill while on the pill there is high percentage of it not being effective. 

        As I have suffered with an eating disorder for a long time, I am use to not having a regular menstrual cycle, so my periods being late or not coming at all didn't concern me too much. It was only when boobs started to hurt that something clicked that something wasn't right  , I had constant pains and I felt uncomfortable wearing bras and my bras would no longer fit. I looked up online what could be the cause of having painful boobs and all the other symptoms I was having, and the first thing that came up was pregnancy.  

         I was in a different room to my mum, so I shouted to come to mine room and told her. She ran out to the shop and got myself several pregnancy tests. The first test was one of them cheap paper stick pregnancy tests, when I peed on the stick nothing showed up at all. One line was for negative, two was for positive. So I took another test, one line came up very clear the other line came up faintly so I was unsure of the result. My Mum ran out to the shop again and bought a Clear Blue pregnancy test to get a more accurate result. I took the test and waited a couple of minutes for the result to show, the wait seemed like forever. Finally the result showed and it said +3 weeks pregnant, I fell to the ground crying. I knew I wasn't ready to have a baby, my boyfriend and I have only been together since the end of June. I was terrified and I didn't know what to do. I told my boyfriend and he was as shocked and devastated as I was. We both knew we were nowhere near ready to have a baby. We didn't know what to do.

I Thought I Lost My Baby

         For the next couple of weeks we both avoided the subject and tried to pretend that it wasn’t happening. A couple weeks after finding out I was pregnant I was around 6 weeks pregnant and while out shopping on a Sunday afternoon with my boyfriend and Mum. My boyfriend and I were looking at something upstairs in a shop while my Mum was downstairs in the shop. I felt a horrible pain in my belly and lower area, It felt stronger than a period pain but I knew there and then I was bleeding. I looked at my boyfriend and said “I am losing the baby” whilst tearing up. He said “what do you mean?” I replied “I can feel blood.” He helped me down the stairs as I was struggling to walk as I had a skirt on and I was afraid blood would pour out of my underwear.

    We found my Mum downstairs and she helped me find a toilet. My Mum went into the toilets with me and I went into a cubical on my own. I looked down at my underwear and there was blood everywhere, I just knew it, I lost the baby, there was just so much blood. I started to cry and I shouted my Mum to come into the cubical, she saw the blood and began to tear up too. She helped me clean myself up and we went back outside to find my boyfriend. I told my boyfriend everything , he just held me tight , comforted me , he told everything is going to be ok and it isn’t my fault.

       That didn’t stop me from feeling like it wasn’t my fault, I felt like I was a failure, a terrible mother who couldn’t keep her baby safe. I kept saying “I killed our baby didn’t I? It is my entire fault”. I couldn’t stop crying. So as soon as we got home my Mum phoned the emergency doctor on my behalf and explained everything. The doctor said it was very likely that I had miscarried, that broke my heart. I was devastated! The doctor arranged an emergency internal scan two days later. For two days I did nothing but cry and blame myself, my boyfriend and my Mum both tried to comfort me but I just couldn’t stop crying.

    The two days seemed like forever, but it was time for my scan. I couldn’t understand why I needed a scan to tell me I have lost my baby, it almost felt like the knife been twisted some more. My Mum came with me to the scan as my boyfriend had to work that day. I went into the scan room with the mentality of my baby is dead why am I here?

      The lady doing the ultra sound started to proceed with the scan, I sat back trying my hardest to fight back my tears. The lady said “ Well there is a strong heartbeat there”,  I looked at the lady in confusion , she said “ Your baby is doing fine , I am not sure why you had such a big bleed there is no explanation for that. But I can assure you, your baby has one strong heartbeat. I looked at my Mum and we both started crying, I was so happy my baby was ok.

( My scan picture from my emergency scan at 6 weeks ) 

     I told my boyfriend the news and he was shocked but was happy everything was ok. We both couldn't get over it! We came to the conclusion that no matter how fast everything may seem our baby is clearly meant to be here and is ready to fight to be here. Everything took some time to get use to and accept that we have a baby arriving in June. But no matter the struggles and challenges we are going to face, my boyfriend and I will face together and do everything we can to give all our love and support to our baby. I am so grateful that I have a wonderful man who takes care of me and has been with me every step of the way. He has always put me first before himself and I feel so blessed and lucky that he has supported me  , no matter how bumpy ( excuse the pun lol)  this journey has been so far , but no just through my pregnancy but the support and love he gives me in everything I do. 

( My 13 weeks scan picture ) 

I am currently 15 weeks pregnant , and my boyfriend and I are expecting our little one on the 18th of June. On the 1st of February which is my birthday ;D we get to find out the gender of our baby at my 20+ weeks scan!  

Thank you for reading 

xox

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Love Ava

xoxo

The Struggles Of Autism ( Living With Autism )

Autism is a spectrum disorder which means it is greatly varied and affects individuals differently. People who do not understand Autism have a misconception of understanding the spectrum disorder , people often assume that Autism will affect individuals in the same way and that everyone with Autism is the same. 
       Every person with Autism is different and unique , but can relate with each other with the difficulties we face everyday. I myself have Autism and find things daily to be difficult , although the struggles and difficulties I face may vary to another individual with Autism. The daily battles with face everyday will of course differ for everyone depending on how mild or severe they are on the Autistic spectrum. 


   The Three Main Traid of Impairments We Struggle With  

. Social communication and interaction 

. Verbal and non- verbal language 

. Thinking and behaving ( social imagination ) 

How Autism Affects Me In Daily 

. Communication - I find it difficult to communicate with people face to face , speaking over phone and even understanding the contents of emails. I find it uncomfortable to speak to people in person , I feel anxious, stressed and eye contact can often be physically painful due to being overwhelmed by the situation. 

Coordination - I often find fiddly things difficult to coordinate , for example organising books or files might take me longer than somebody without Autism to do , or even tying  or untying things can be complicated to do. Dropping things and bumping into things is a fairly regular thing for me. Clumsiness is very common for somebody with Autism. 



Lack of understanding people's langue - People with autism including myself can often be very playful and sarcastic , however we find difficult to understand other people's sarcasm or humour. We find it difficult to read if somebody is joking and we often take things literally , which causes use to be very sensitive around people as we tend to take everything personally. 




Sensory sensitive - Every individual with Autism finds something related to either sight , touch , sound , smell or taste very sensitive to cope with. For example certain colours can be sensitive for an individual with Autism for me personally I am sensitive to the colours orange and yellow , which both colours can often be painful for me to look at and can make me panic. Sounds such as scratching on surfaces like a table , pieces of paper , a chalk board or even a pair jeans can be overwhelming for me to heard and I often become anxious. Even noises such as somebody mowing the lawn or an alarm going of can be disturbing. Certain textures can make me panic especially " terrycloth". Even when I was a little girl and my mum would touch me on the hand and when she had dry skin on her hands I would start to scream because the texture of the dry skin would make me uncomfortable. 




     

Routine  - Like most individuals with Autism I have a routine in my head of how I do things daily and the timing of those routines. If my routine is changed or disturbed I can become very anxious and uncomfortable. I can become very frustrated with myself because everything becomes out of order or out of place. A slight change or unexpected events that may occur can mean I wont settle for the rest of the day and become uneasy. 





Repetitive patterns - I can often be fidgety such as when sitting on a chair rocking back and forwards or fidgeting about. I always have to check things are switched off 3 times ( ALWAYS 3 ), such as the oven , fireplace , light switch , water tap or making sure the front and back door is locked. I tend to repeat stories that I have already told without realising I have already told them. Constantly fixing and rearranging things like if I am out shopping and a food tin or jar is facing the wrong way I have to fix it ( most of the time I don't even realise I am doing it ). I am always fiddling with objects around me as I tend to be intrigued by objects even if it is just an empty bottle. 









Every individual with Autism is different but we can all relate to each other on some level. People often misjudge Autism because of there lack of understanding about the condition and sadly the media does not raise enough awareness about the condition. In actual fact the media often presents Autism to the public in a negative light by publishing incorrect information about the condition based on one incident that may of happened . For example a shooting that happened not so long ago in the United States, and the gunman happened to have Autism. The media portrayed Autism to be a dangerous and fearful condition based on one individual. When in actual fact  97%  of people with Autism would not hurt a fly , they are most likely to end up hurting themselves out of  frustration or suffering with depression rather than being a threat to the rest of society.  








Unfortunately these are some of the headlines and comments we can often see the media portraying Autism : 



" Parents just letting there children misbehaving , pure laziness! Just give them a good smack "


( Actually children with Autism can not control misbehaving because they don't understand what is going on and why everything seems so difficult. They " misbehave" out of frustration at themselves. 



" Autism wrecks lives"

( Yes , Autism is difficult for an individual and their family but the only person it affects is the individual themselves. Often families are very supportive of a person with Autism and learn to adjust to there needs because it is what families do for there loved ones. Everything might seem 10 times harder for an individual with Autism but that doesn't mean they are incapable of having a life.) 


" Autistic people are violent and dangerous "

( Autistic people are far from dangerous , we wouldn't hurt a soul intentionally. We have so much love to give people but because of our communication and social skills we don't know how to show that love. Our brain is different to our heart. It doesn't quite work together.)  



" People with Autism don't feel emotions "






( We actually feel a lot of emotion that is often overwhelming for us to handle because we feel some much emotion at once.) 







 Thank you for reading 
xo



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Love Ava 
xoxo