10 Things You Didn't Know About Autism

1. Did you know that an individual with Autism is extremely likely to suffer with severe anxiety?

2. Did you know that it is fairly common for somebody with Autism to suffer with an eating disorder? 

3.Did you know that a person with Autism's rapid mood swings and constant change in mood is not the individual attention seeking or "acting out" , the individual simply can not control there quick change in mood. Anxiety has a big part to play in the individual's change of mood.

4. Did you know that a person with Autism has an unstable sleeping pattern and often suffers with insomnia?

5. Did you know that just because an individual with Autism can be sometimes isolated from people , doesn't mean they don't like spending time with people and like being invited to things.   


6. Did you know that when an individual with Autism avoids direct eye contact with others is not because the individual is being ignorant or rude , it can very difficult and sometimes psychically painful for a person with Autism to give direct eye contact. Often eye contact for someone with Autism can be very distressing and uncomfortable. 


7. Did you know that many people assume that every person with Autism is highly intelligent in maths and divisions , this is not always the case. A person with Autism is highly intelligent in a topic that they find fascinating or that they are extremely interested in.  


8. Did you know that just because an individual has Autism does not mean that the individual is incapable of being able to work in a full time job. Although individuals may struggle understanding certain things doesn't mean they lack the capability of working , all they need is a little guidance,advice and structure. 


9. Did you know there is a "Myth" that people with Autism do not care about other people's feelings. This is incorrect! In fact individuals with Autism care deeply about individuals emotions but may find it difficult to understand others emotions , which may mean the individual with Autism will constantly ask if a person is okay or how do they feel. This may sometimes become an annoyance to others because of the same repeated question. But it is not the individual with Autism's fault they can't understand how others feel. 


10. Did you know that people who are Autistic are very creative people especially in a subject or topic they are interested in. Individuals with Autism have a very big ambitious imagination but sometimes struggling with social communication effects the individual being ambitious. 

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Love Ava

xoxo

Reading Is Good For The Mind.... Some Of My Favourite Book Recommendations

Turn off  your computer , switch off your phone.... Get yourself comfy and snug then your ready for reading a good old story book! 

Reading has many benefits for the mind, it can help reduce stress , widen your general knowledge and increase your vocabulary. Reading can actually help improve your memory and is a mental stimulation. Books can open your mind to different possibilities of new things and interests , your imagination can grow and your ambitions may be broaden. 

Here Are Some Of My Favourite Books I would Highly Recommend Reading For A Fantastic Read  :)       

Mother Mother By Koren Zailckas 

AMAZON £3.85

EBAY £2.85

BOOK DEPOSIT  £4.59 

The White Rabbit Chronicles By Gena Showalter 

Alice In Zombieland 

AMAZON £6.99

WORDERY £6.81

BOOK DEPOSIT  £13.86

 Alice Through The Zombie Glass 

AMAZON £5.99

HIVE £5.59

BOOK DEPOSIT  £6.42

WORDERY £6.40

EBAY £4.82

The Queen Of Zombie Hearts 

AMAZON £6.99

BOOK DEPOSIT  £7.28

EBAY £4.82

WORDERY £6.01

Before I Die By Jenny Downham

THE BOOK PEOPLE £3.49

AMAZON £1.00 ( sale)

Inkheart By Cornelia Funke 

AMAZON £5.59

EBAY £6.99

HIVE £5.59

WORDERY £7.32

Heidi By Johanna Spyri 

AMAZON £5.00

WORDERY £7.53

EBAY £3.29

Northern Lights 

AMAZON  £3.99

THE BOOK PEOPLE £3.99

WATERSTONES £5.99

 

What is one of your favourite books? :D I would love to know! 

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Love Ava 

xoxox

Bullied By The Inner Circle ( My Bullying Story)

Hello everyone , I hope everyone is doing well and are having a lovely day! :) Today's blog post is about the unpleasant topic of bullying. Unfortunately many people in today's society have experienced some form of bullying whether it be cyber bullying , mental , physical or emotional bullying. Bullying behaviour can occur from anyone , a friend , a parent ,a family member , a loved one , a teacher , a stranger. Bullying is not always visible , sometimes it happens behind close doors , when nobody is watching , where nobody can stride to your defence. For four years this was my life , bullied in the shadows by a girl who to the outside world appeared as a friend but behind closed doors she made my life hell. This is my story......

( I changed the actual person's name involved in this story to "Nicole")

When I was 14 I walked into my form room during school lunch time and there Nicole sat on a stool , alone with her palms covering her face while crying. I have known Nicole for years , we went to the same primary school but I hadn't spoke to her since back then. Nicole was a trouble maker even back in primary , always telling lies about people and trying to get people in trouble. Anyway I  hesitated to speak to her even though we were in the same form. I pulled up another stool and sat next to her , I asked if she was okay and if she needed to talk I would listen. She told me everything that was wrong , she smiled and wiped her tears away. She invited me round her house for tea, as she only lived literally around the corner from me I accepted the offer. That evening after school I went to hers for tea , we laughed , we joked , we watched T.v and a friendship was born! Or so I thought......

                   The next day at school I walked up to her and thanked her for inviting me to her house for tea. She was stood with her friends who she had fell out with the previous day which is why she was so upset . Nicole and her friends stood there and gave me a dirty look , Nicole said " What are you talking about? why are you talking to me?" I awkwardly said sorry and walked away. I over heard one of her friends say " What does that want ? What the hell is she on about?" I headed to form and not long after Nicole followed. 
        Nicole grabbed me by the arm and said " Don't speak to me in front of my friends again." In that moment I became terrified of her. She decided to sit next to me in form , my friends entered the form room and I said nothing... I was to scared to speak. My friends surprisingly greeted Nicole and asked if she was sitting with us today, as she never had done before. Nicole acted buddy buddy with my friends , while I still sat in silence. 
          From then on in front of people Nicole was nice to me , but when nobody was around she was horrible. She began to treat me like a pet , she told me to carry her bags , open her water bottle , give her some money , she would purposely drop things on the floor and tell me to pick them up because she knew I would. I was to afraid to stand up to her.
         A year later things had gotten worse. She would call me fat , ugly , a stupid bitch , she would trip me up in the middle of the street and burst out laughing at me. She would steal my personal belongings, She hit me in the face , she would pinch me on the arm , she would tell me to run to the shop and get her things. As I only lived around the corner from her , I knew I couldn't make up an excuse and I knew if I didn't do what she said , she would make things 100 times worse. She started spreading rumours that I was a prostitute. She would called me a slut , whore  and slag. She lied to my friends and said I had been saying nasty things about them , my friends turned against me and didn't want to know me any more.
       I felt more alone than ever , I was so scared of Nicole. She was making my life a misery. This carried on for another year , during that year a group of guys began cyber bulling me and Nicole egged them on by feeding them things to say to me. I began to self harm because I couldn't cope any more, Nicole found the scars on my arms and made fun of me calling me an attention seeking bitch.
               At 17 I finally had enough!!! I some how found the courage to stand up to her. She had text me to follow the orders she gave me , I text back saying " No I am done , stay out of my life for good." I thought it was over.... Boy was I wrong!
           The follow day I had constant texts from many different numbers sending me abuse. You fat bitch , you whore , you slut , kill yourself the messages said. This went on for days.... I finally broke down and told my mum what was going on. She comforted me and told me everything is going to be okay. The next day Nicole and her " friend" bashed on my front door , my step dad ran and opened the front door and Nicole pushed passed my step dad shouting and screaming at both of us with threats. My step dad told her to get out of his house before he would phone the police , Nicole and her friend left...

Nicole carried on to harass me , phone calls , social network sites , coming round to my house. I blocked her number , blocked her from social network sites!!! But she always found a way to contact me. She made new accounts to contact me , ringing me and sending messages using other people's phones. I wouldn't reply or pick up the phone.. Then one day I picked up the phone. I begged Nicole to stop and leave me alone. She started shouting down the phone " You disgusting fat bitch , I am going to make your life hell until your dead and I have buried you in your grave." 

     I hung up the phone and fell to the ground crying. I had enough, I was scared and couldn't cope any more. I ran to the  medication cupboard and grabbed all the tablets that where there. I went over to the sofa and sat down. I did not want to live any more , I took all the tablets in one go and overdosed. Not long after my step dad came home from work and  found me on the sofa and called an ambulance and I was rushed into resuscitation at the hospital. I later woke up on a ward and the nurses at the hospital took care of me till I was well enough to be discharged. 

The nurses and Psychiatrists at the hospital suggested to my Mum it would be wise to get the Police involved to stop the bullying. So My mum did and the bullying stopped. 

                  

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Love Ava

xoxox

The Violent One

The Violent One

A blistering Saturday evening in the summer of 2003. The BBQ sizzling swiftly with the local supermarket’s cheap meat firing away. Old friends clinking there beer bottles together with excitement while cheering with delight for no expressive reason. Listening to the summer beats playing in the background from the kitchen, while all the quests including myself sat outside on the plastic garden deck chairs which the hosts of the party owned. The summer breeze which spread rapidly as the evening progressed into the late night, and the guests started to tire out. The 9 year old me was exhausted, I sat on a garden deck chair with my legs tucked up to my chest with my cardigan wrapped around me. As I was the only child apart from a new born baby there that night I was getting bored as the night continued. The hosts of the party were friends of my Dad and Step mum. They had invited my Dad, Step Mum, Step Brother and myself to their summer party BBQ, although my Step Brother was not able to go to the party as he was visiting his Dad for the weekend.

          As the party began to come to an end and people started to say their goodbyes, I started to feel relieved that it was almost time to go home. I was tired; irritated from being too tired and being a child adult conversations tend to bore you, I was ready to leave. My Dad and Step Mum began to say their goodbyes to all their friends, and the taxi the hosts had phoned for us had arrived. My Step Mum had offered the taxi to a couple who she didn’t know but they were good friends with the hosts of the party. As the couple had a new born baby and wanted to get home as soon as possible, so they took the offer and thanked my Step Mum.

      The fury in my Dad’s intoxicated face.  His expression said it all, he was angry. Angry that my Step Mum had offer our taxi to someone else. We waited another 45 minutes for a taxi to arrive. By then it was the early hours of the morning, and the 3 of us said our final goodbyes to everyone and hopped into the taxi. The car pulled away from the host’s house and set off for the journey home. I was sat in the middle of my Dad and Step Mum in the back of the taxi; I just knew there was argument about to explode between them. I knew the reaction in my Dad’s face wasn’t going to let it go.

   Before I knew it, he had turned to my Step Mum and shouted “You stupid cow, what the hell did you let them take our taxi for.” “They have a little baby, you selfish bastard “said my Step Mum. “ I don’t fucking care, I wanted to go home” said my Dad. Stuck in the middle of them both I told them to stop fighting, while the taxi driver awkwardly carried on the drive home. Both my Dad and Step Mum were silent for the rest of the journey home. We paid the taxi man, got out the car and walked up the pathway to the front door. My Step Mum opened the door and took a stride into the hallway leading into the living room. The dog they both owned who was called Jack came running out of the kitchen and jumped around the living room with excitement that we were home. My Dad followed both myself and my Step Mum into the house shortly after while leaving the front door open, my Step Mum politely asked him to close the door and that is when the trouble began…..

    “Close the fucking door yourself” he said. “What? Why are you acting like this?” my Step Mum said. “Like what” he said while getting right up in her face. “ Oh just get lost you prick” she said... He raised his fist to hit her and at the same time my Step Mum swung her leg up and kicked him in the side of his leg to defend herself. He screamed “you bitch” while grabbing her by the neck and threw her to the floor. He sat on top on her and started choking her. She was gasping for air, and struggling to move from under his heavy weight. I started screaming “stop it, just stop it, get away from her.” I stood in fear, speechless of what was happening. A hot summer’s night suddenly felt frozen, turned to ice, the no existed chill in the air became real.

      I began to beg my Dad to get off my Step Mum; he wouldn’t listen to and started to aggressively punch her in the face. Jack became fearful to the violence that was occurring and hid behind the couch while squealing. I begged my dad again to stop hurting her, but he wouldn’t listen. My Step Mum had blood running down her face, a broken nose and a busted lip. I began to cry as I saw the blood dripping onto the floor. My Dad carried on hitting her and hitting her, he wouldn’t stop. I ran into the back room where a baseball bat was kept, I grabbed the bat and ran back into the living room. I started to hit the bat as hard as I could onto the side of the living room door to try and get my Dad’s attention hoping it would stop him hitting my Step Mum.  It didn’t work! So I dropped the bat to the floor and jumped onto his back to pull him off my Step Mum.  He struggled standing up with me on his back but once he did he grabbed the side of arm and threw me across the room into a brick wall. In the meantime my Step Mum had fought to stand up onto her feet, covered in her own blood.

           My Dad turned to me and told me to “Stay out of it or else.” He turned back around and grabbed my Step Mum by the neck once more and pushed her threw the open front door onto the grass in the front garden. She fell to the ground once again crying with pain. The next door neighbours awakened by the screaming and shouting started peeking through their bedroom windows. One neighbour came outside and asked my Dad if everything was alright. He walked over to the fence where the neighbour was to speak to him.

      Meanwhile Jack ran out of the house and through the unlocked gate, running away from the violence. I ran after jack chasing him down the street shouting his name, but he was too fast for me and I lost track of him. My Dad soon caught up with me, screaming “get back into that house you stupid girl.” I ran back to the house out fear of what he might do if he didn’t. I got to the end of the gate and My Step Mum was nowhere to be seen in the garden. I walked up to the front door and she came rushing out, she kissed me on the forehead with blood and her tears running down her face. She told me she was sorry and she had to go , she can’t stay here. She had rushed into the house to get the car keys, she ran to the car and waved goodbye to me. I started to cry again, I was confused, I didn’t understand what had happened; all I knew was that it was very wrong.

         I walked back into the house and shortly after my Step Mum waved goodbye, my Dad came back to the house. He raised his voice and told me to go upstairs and get ready for bed, I did exactly that and then I heard a barking. JACK!!! I ran down the stairs, unlocked the front door and there he was waiting at the end of the gate. I ran outside to get him; I picked him up, cuddled him and kissed him on the head. I started walking back towards the house and there my Dad stood staring at me… I gasped. He had a displeasured raged look in his eyes….. He was not my Dad anymore…..

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xoxox

10 Daily Struggles Of An Adult With Autism

1. ROUTINE - I like routine and structure because I know what to expect. If my routine is disturbed I become distressed , overwhelmed and anxious , which will usually result in having an anxiety attack. 


2. SENSES - Sight , sound , touch and smell can be difficult to cope with on a daily basis. Personally I am very sensitive towards sound and sight such as bright light or any kind of artificial light. My sight can be very fragile and sensitive towards the colours yellow and orange. I also find certain textures to touch discomforting and can make me feel irritated.

3. UNDERSTANDING - I may come across like I am not listening to you , when in actual fact I am trying to understand what you are saying. Understanding what people are saying to you is like doing a jigsaw puzzle and you can no find that final piece of puzzle to complete the jigsaw. Just because a person with Autism does not understand you , does not mean they are stupid or dumb , it just means we understand things differently. 

4. DECISIONS - Almost every day I have to ask others for approval or to make a decision for me. I struggle at making my own decisions , and these decisions  can include things such as asking if I am allowed to get a drink when I am at home or If I can have a shower.  

5. ANXIETY -  Anxiety is a very common trait to have if an individual has Autism. Having high increasing and intense anxiety effects being able to communicate with others, such as working , education , social events or even relationships. Because of the anxiety we tend to like our own space and often isolate ourselves from the world.  

6. COMMUNICATION - Physically talking to others in person can be very difficult and distressing. We tend to not look at the person when speaking to them or we keep looking at our surroundings. Often people may also look to loved ones to speak for them. People who don't understand Autism tend to think it is rudeness or ignorance when we don't talk back or look away. We find it uncomfortable and very overwhelming which we can not control.


7. HUMOUR - Having Autism things said are often taken personally , due to not understanding jokes , figure of speech and sarcasm. I tend to take things to heart and become very emotional towards the " Joke". In my head, I think the individual telling the joke is purposely trying to insult or upset me without understanding it was a joke.

8. INSOMNIA - Due to the anxiety that individuals with Autism experience , lack of sleep often occurs which makes the day 10x harder for someone with Autism as their irritability and lack of patience will double. 

9. CONCENTRATION -  It is much harder for a person with Autism to concentrate. For example I struggle being able to move things without dropping them , opening packets or bottled lids , remembering things or not being able to focus on a certain activity I was doing. Also understanding maps or instructions of where to go and what to do I have a difficult time doing. 

10 . HEALTH AND MOVEMENT - Constant fidgeting , rocking arms and legs around , sitting in unusual positions , bad posture , toilet problems , sensitive to foods and difficultly hearing are also things                 an individual including myself experiences with Autism.

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Love Ava 

xoxo

        

20 Things You Should Never Say To Somebody With An Eating Disorder

1. You do not look thin enough to have an eating disorder.

( An eating disorder is not a body type , it is an illness in the mind)

2. Would you like to try some of this food?

( If the individual feels pressured and forced to eat the food it will back fire on the person offering the food )

3. You are just looking for attention for someone to compliment you on your weight.

( Making the person feel selfish and stupid for having an eating disorder)

4. Just eat more would you.

( Again will feel pressured) 

5. I wish I could loose weight like you.

( May encourage the individual to loose more weight)

6. You looked better before.

( Makes them feel confused and ashamed of their weight)

7. Why don't you just exercise?

( Makes the person feel stupid)

8. What have you eaten today?

( Feels like they are being watched at everything they do)

9. What is it like to have an eating disorder? 

( An upsetting and emotional question)

10. I didn't invite you out because you don't eat.

( Makes the person feel worthless)

11. You have eaten more than yesterday.

( Makes the person feel ashamed for eating more)

12. How much do you weigh? 

(Assuming they are fat)

13. If you think you are fat , then I must be fat too.

( feels bad about themselves)

14. If you eat everything will be better.

( Feels forced , confused , worthless and stupid)

15. You look healthier , you have put a little weight on.

( Thinks you are calling the individual fat)

16. I will make sure you will eat.

( Again Feeling forced to eat)

17. You will get over it soon enough.

( Makes the person feel stupid)

18. I am glad you have eaten something.

( Makes the person feel ashamed for eating)

19. Negative comments about somebody else's weight.

( Paranoid about what they may think of their weight)

20. I will buy you some food.

( Feeling controlled) 

( Being someone who has suffered with anorexia for the  past 8 years , these comments  have been personally made to me and have had a sensitive emotional effect on myself ,I thought I would write a little blog post to help people understand what comments said or made to a person with eating disorder could possibly find offensive and have a negative effect on the individual. However not every person with an eating disorder will have the same sensibility as each other , so they may find some comments more sensitive than others. I am in no means way saying that every person with an eating disorder feels this way , I have just written this from my own perspective of comments that have been made relating to myself having an eating disorder which I have personally found distressing.) 

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Love Ava 

xoxox

  

10 Positive Quotes To Encourage Positive Thinking And Motivation

1. Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell 




2. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. - Helen Keller 



3. Minds are like flowers, they only open when the time is right. - Stephen Richards 



4. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. - Roald Dahl



5. You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream. - C.S. Lewis 


6. We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. - Walt Disney 


7. It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. - William Shakespeare


8.  For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. - Audrey Hepburn 

9. Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. - Soren Kierkegaard



10. With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. - Eleanor Roosevelt 

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Love Ava 

xoxox