Bullied By The Inner Circle ( My Bullying Story)

Hello everyone , I hope everyone is doing well and are having a lovely day! :) Today's blog post is about the unpleasant topic of bullying. Unfortunately many people in today's society have experienced some form of bullying whether it be cyber bullying , mental , physical or emotional bullying. Bullying behaviour can occur from anyone , a friend , a parent ,a family member , a loved one , a teacher , a stranger. Bullying is not always visible , sometimes it happens behind close doors , when nobody is watching , where nobody can stride to your defence. For four years this was my life , bullied in the shadows by a girl who to the outside world appeared as a friend but behind closed doors she made my life hell. This is my story......

( I changed the actual person's name involved in this story to "Nicole")

When I was 14 I walked into my form room during school lunch time and there Nicole sat on a stool , alone with her palms covering her face while crying. I have known Nicole for years , we went to the same primary school but I hadn't spoke to her since back then. Nicole was a trouble maker even back in primary , always telling lies about people and trying to get people in trouble. Anyway I  hesitated to speak to her even though we were in the same form. I pulled up another stool and sat next to her , I asked if she was okay and if she needed to talk I would listen. She told me everything that was wrong , she smiled and wiped her tears away. She invited me round her house for tea, as she only lived literally around the corner from me I accepted the offer. That evening after school I went to hers for tea , we laughed , we joked , we watched T.v and a friendship was born! Or so I thought......

                   The next day at school I walked up to her and thanked her for inviting me to her house for tea. She was stood with her friends who she had fell out with the previous day which is why she was so upset . Nicole and her friends stood there and gave me a dirty look , Nicole said " What are you talking about? why are you talking to me?" I awkwardly said sorry and walked away. I over heard one of her friends say " What does that want ? What the hell is she on about?" I headed to form and not long after Nicole followed. 
        Nicole grabbed me by the arm and said " Don't speak to me in front of my friends again." In that moment I became terrified of her. She decided to sit next to me in form , my friends entered the form room and I said nothing... I was to scared to speak. My friends surprisingly greeted Nicole and asked if she was sitting with us today, as she never had done before. Nicole acted buddy buddy with my friends , while I still sat in silence. 
          From then on in front of people Nicole was nice to me , but when nobody was around she was horrible. She began to treat me like a pet , she told me to carry her bags , open her water bottle , give her some money , she would purposely drop things on the floor and tell me to pick them up because she knew I would. I was to afraid to stand up to her.
         A year later things had gotten worse. She would call me fat , ugly , a stupid bitch , she would trip me up in the middle of the street and burst out laughing at me. She would steal my personal belongings, She hit me in the face , she would pinch me on the arm , she would tell me to run to the shop and get her things. As I only lived around the corner from her , I knew I couldn't make up an excuse and I knew if I didn't do what she said , she would make things 100 times worse. She started spreading rumours that I was a prostitute. She would called me a slut , whore  and slag. She lied to my friends and said I had been saying nasty things about them , my friends turned against me and didn't want to know me any more.
       I felt more alone than ever , I was so scared of Nicole. She was making my life a misery. This carried on for another year , during that year a group of guys began cyber bulling me and Nicole egged them on by feeding them things to say to me. I began to self harm because I couldn't cope any more, Nicole found the scars on my arms and made fun of me calling me an attention seeking bitch.
               At 17 I finally had enough!!! I some how found the courage to stand up to her. She had text me to follow the orders she gave me , I text back saying " No I am done , stay out of my life for good." I thought it was over.... Boy was I wrong!
           The follow day I had constant texts from many different numbers sending me abuse. You fat bitch , you whore , you slut , kill yourself the messages said. This went on for days.... I finally broke down and told my mum what was going on. She comforted me and told me everything is going to be okay. The next day Nicole and her " friend" bashed on my front door , my step dad ran and opened the front door and Nicole pushed passed my step dad shouting and screaming at both of us with threats. My step dad told her to get out of his house before he would phone the police , Nicole and her friend left...

Nicole carried on to harass me , phone calls , social network sites , coming round to my house. I blocked her number , blocked her from social network sites!!! But she always found a way to contact me. She made new accounts to contact me , ringing me and sending messages using other people's phones. I wouldn't reply or pick up the phone.. Then one day I picked up the phone. I begged Nicole to stop and leave me alone. She started shouting down the phone " You disgusting fat bitch , I am going to make your life hell until your dead and I have buried you in your grave." 

     I hung up the phone and fell to the ground crying. I had enough, I was scared and couldn't cope any more. I ran to the  medication cupboard and grabbed all the tablets that where there. I went over to the sofa and sat down. I did not want to live any more , I took all the tablets in one go and overdosed. Not long after my step dad came home from work and  found me on the sofa and called an ambulance and I was rushed into resuscitation at the hospital. I later woke up on a ward and the nurses at the hospital took care of me till I was well enough to be discharged. 

The nurses and Psychiatrists at the hospital suggested to my Mum it would be wise to get the Police involved to stop the bullying. So My mum did and the bullying stopped. 

                  

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Love Ava

xoxox

The Violent One

The Violent One

A blistering Saturday evening in the summer of 2003. The BBQ sizzling swiftly with the local supermarket’s cheap meat firing away. Old friends clinking there beer bottles together with excitement while cheering with delight for no expressive reason. Listening to the summer beats playing in the background from the kitchen, while all the quests including myself sat outside on the plastic garden deck chairs which the hosts of the party owned. The summer breeze which spread rapidly as the evening progressed into the late night, and the guests started to tire out. The 9 year old me was exhausted, I sat on a garden deck chair with my legs tucked up to my chest with my cardigan wrapped around me. As I was the only child apart from a new born baby there that night I was getting bored as the night continued. The hosts of the party were friends of my Dad and Step mum. They had invited my Dad, Step Mum, Step Brother and myself to their summer party BBQ, although my Step Brother was not able to go to the party as he was visiting his Dad for the weekend.

          As the party began to come to an end and people started to say their goodbyes, I started to feel relieved that it was almost time to go home. I was tired; irritated from being too tired and being a child adult conversations tend to bore you, I was ready to leave. My Dad and Step Mum began to say their goodbyes to all their friends, and the taxi the hosts had phoned for us had arrived. My Step Mum had offered the taxi to a couple who she didn’t know but they were good friends with the hosts of the party. As the couple had a new born baby and wanted to get home as soon as possible, so they took the offer and thanked my Step Mum.

      The fury in my Dad’s intoxicated face.  His expression said it all, he was angry. Angry that my Step Mum had offer our taxi to someone else. We waited another 45 minutes for a taxi to arrive. By then it was the early hours of the morning, and the 3 of us said our final goodbyes to everyone and hopped into the taxi. The car pulled away from the host’s house and set off for the journey home. I was sat in the middle of my Dad and Step Mum in the back of the taxi; I just knew there was argument about to explode between them. I knew the reaction in my Dad’s face wasn’t going to let it go.

   Before I knew it, he had turned to my Step Mum and shouted “You stupid cow, what the hell did you let them take our taxi for.” “They have a little baby, you selfish bastard “said my Step Mum. “ I don’t fucking care, I wanted to go home” said my Dad. Stuck in the middle of them both I told them to stop fighting, while the taxi driver awkwardly carried on the drive home. Both my Dad and Step Mum were silent for the rest of the journey home. We paid the taxi man, got out the car and walked up the pathway to the front door. My Step Mum opened the door and took a stride into the hallway leading into the living room. The dog they both owned who was called Jack came running out of the kitchen and jumped around the living room with excitement that we were home. My Dad followed both myself and my Step Mum into the house shortly after while leaving the front door open, my Step Mum politely asked him to close the door and that is when the trouble began…..

    “Close the fucking door yourself” he said. “What? Why are you acting like this?” my Step Mum said. “Like what” he said while getting right up in her face. “ Oh just get lost you prick” she said... He raised his fist to hit her and at the same time my Step Mum swung her leg up and kicked him in the side of his leg to defend herself. He screamed “you bitch” while grabbing her by the neck and threw her to the floor. He sat on top on her and started choking her. She was gasping for air, and struggling to move from under his heavy weight. I started screaming “stop it, just stop it, get away from her.” I stood in fear, speechless of what was happening. A hot summer’s night suddenly felt frozen, turned to ice, the no existed chill in the air became real.

      I began to beg my Dad to get off my Step Mum; he wouldn’t listen to and started to aggressively punch her in the face. Jack became fearful to the violence that was occurring and hid behind the couch while squealing. I begged my dad again to stop hurting her, but he wouldn’t listen. My Step Mum had blood running down her face, a broken nose and a busted lip. I began to cry as I saw the blood dripping onto the floor. My Dad carried on hitting her and hitting her, he wouldn’t stop. I ran into the back room where a baseball bat was kept, I grabbed the bat and ran back into the living room. I started to hit the bat as hard as I could onto the side of the living room door to try and get my Dad’s attention hoping it would stop him hitting my Step Mum.  It didn’t work! So I dropped the bat to the floor and jumped onto his back to pull him off my Step Mum.  He struggled standing up with me on his back but once he did he grabbed the side of arm and threw me across the room into a brick wall. In the meantime my Step Mum had fought to stand up onto her feet, covered in her own blood.

           My Dad turned to me and told me to “Stay out of it or else.” He turned back around and grabbed my Step Mum by the neck once more and pushed her threw the open front door onto the grass in the front garden. She fell to the ground once again crying with pain. The next door neighbours awakened by the screaming and shouting started peeking through their bedroom windows. One neighbour came outside and asked my Dad if everything was alright. He walked over to the fence where the neighbour was to speak to him.

      Meanwhile Jack ran out of the house and through the unlocked gate, running away from the violence. I ran after jack chasing him down the street shouting his name, but he was too fast for me and I lost track of him. My Dad soon caught up with me, screaming “get back into that house you stupid girl.” I ran back to the house out fear of what he might do if he didn’t. I got to the end of the gate and My Step Mum was nowhere to be seen in the garden. I walked up to the front door and she came rushing out, she kissed me on the forehead with blood and her tears running down her face. She told me she was sorry and she had to go , she can’t stay here. She had rushed into the house to get the car keys, she ran to the car and waved goodbye to me. I started to cry again, I was confused, I didn’t understand what had happened; all I knew was that it was very wrong.

         I walked back into the house and shortly after my Step Mum waved goodbye, my Dad came back to the house. He raised his voice and told me to go upstairs and get ready for bed, I did exactly that and then I heard a barking. JACK!!! I ran down the stairs, unlocked the front door and there he was waiting at the end of the gate. I ran outside to get him; I picked him up, cuddled him and kissed him on the head. I started walking back towards the house and there my Dad stood staring at me… I gasped. He had a displeasured raged look in his eyes….. He was not my Dad anymore…..

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Love Ava

xoxox

Living With Anxiety And Understanding Anxiety

Every individual experiences short term anxiety , as anxiety is an important part of every person's survival. Anxiety is an essential mechanism that our body triggers for protecting us against threat or danger. You may have heard this being referred to as the " Fight or Flight " response. Although every individual experiences some kind of short term anxiety in their life , living with severe anxiety is very different.

Living with anxiety can lead an individual to have regular panic and anxiety attacks which can have an affect on their daily life. Panic attacks is an exaggeration of an individuals normal body response to a fearful situation , stress or even excitement. Panic and anxiety attacks occur suddenly and a person's body is often unable to prevent an attack. The build up  of a rapid anxiety or panic attack is overwhelming for a person and the individual's body loses control and they will start to feel the sensations of an anxiety attack. The sensations of an attack a person may experience  will include a pounding heart , feeling faint , sweating , nausea , chest pains , short of breath , feeling  emotional and shaky limbs. The intensity of a panic or anxiety attack can vary depending on the individual's mentality towards stress and the situation or circumstances that they are in. 

Possible Causes Of Anxiety        

. Stress is one of the most common triggers for anxiety symptoms, depending on the individuals response and mentality towards stress will possibly determine the physical and emotional intensity of the individual anxiety.

. Life events and circumstances is also a possible cause of anxiety. A life changing event or a stressful and difficult situation in a person's life could take a toll on the individual and they may develop anxiety symptoms.

. A person's previous reaction to stress and how they coped could impact in future situations. A constant reappearance of  coping in stressful situations and circumstances badly or in a negative way could lead to severe anxiety.

. Drugs can also be a cause of anxiety. Drugs often associated with anxiety are amphetamines ( speed) , ecstasy and LSD.

. A lot of people are unaware that caffeine could potentially cause anxiety symptoms , as people are often sensitive to effects found in caffeine.

Negative Thinking Cycle 

 

There is a cycle of anxiety called " Negative Thinking" which includes a person's thoughts , feelings and behaviours. Negative thinking can often be referred to as a continuous cycle , because the cycle continues and repeats which is often common for individuals with anxiety and depression. This cycle becomes mentally and psychically unhealthy for the individual , which tends to leave them being isolated from others by avoidance. Avoidance can be a coping mechanism for the individual , as they are avoiding the problems they find stressful instead of confronting the problem. " The longer the avoidance the increase in anxiety."

Possible Triggers And Situations For A Person To be Anxious

. Meeting new people can often be a trigger for a person to be anxious. This can be by directly meeting someone and can also be by being in a environment where people are unfamiliar. This can include places such as shopping centres , supermarkets , social events and restaurants. Being surrounded by a large amount of people and crowds can also be a reason of why a person becomes anxious. 

. New situations or circumstances such as moving house , starting a new school or being in a unfamiliar area could trigger an individuals anxiety symptoms . 

.  Anxiety can often occur in a fearful situation or a phobia encounter a person may have. For example if an individual is afraid of flying or have a phobia of certain animal could strike fear in the person and cause their body to experience anxiety sensations

. A traumatic experience such as  a road accident , a near death experience , abuse or being trapped in a catastrophic situation can not just only cause anxiety but could possibly cause PTSD ( post -traumatic stress disorder.)

. Past memories and experiences could have an affect on a person later on in their life and could be a cause of a person feeling anxious.

Self Help Techniques 

. Exercise is a self help technique for anxiety because exercise releases endorphins chemical's in the body which helps the individual to feel more positive. This can also be referred  to as " The Happy Hormone."

. As difficult as it may be for a individual , communication is an important part of self help. Reaching out to others about your worries and concerns about your anxiety may be helpful for the individual as discussing their thought and feelings may ensure the person that they have support and they are not alone. " A Problem Shared Is A Problem Halved." 

. It is important that a person keeps a watchful eye on their diet and adapted to a healthy diet. A high content of sugar and caffeine in a person's diet can lead to a person to experience anxiety symptoms .

. Keeping a diary or journal may be of  use to some , as writing their thoughts and feelings may help get things of there chest and help keep track of how they feel.

. Relaxation techniques such as yoga or pilates could be helpful to individuals , as it could help relax them physically and mentally 

. Joining a support group may be proven helpful for a person experiencing anxiety. Being surrounded by people going through similar issues can be comforting and reassure the person they are not alone. 

Other Self Help Techniques 

. Listening to music

. Going for a walk

. Creative actives

. Taking up a hobby

. Reading books or magazines

. Watching films or Tv programmes

. Theatre and cinema performances 

" Although stress and anxiety have some of the same symptoms , a person is more likely to be able to keep under control stress. Where as anxiety is an exaggeration of stress which a person's body and mind think they are threatened or in real danger. It becomes impossible for the individual to focus and keep under control there symptoms of anxiety in the situation that made them anxious."

How Anxiety Makes A Person Feel About Themselves

. Depressed 

. Feeling ashamed of themselves

. Unworthy 

. Feeling stupid and useless 

. Feeling like a waste of space 

. Emotional

. Unfocused 

. Self Hatred

. Fearful 

. Become Agoraphobic

. Obsessive behaviour (OCD)

    

 My Anxiety Story 

Hey there everyone! :D I hope you have all found the information above about living and understanding anxiety useful. I thought I would share with you all, my personal anxiety story. 

From a very young age, I have suffered with anxiety. I remember as young as being 8 years old being anxious. Of course back then I didn't understand what anxiety was , I just thought something was wrong with me. I couldn't understand why felt so sad and emotional at doing the simplest things. I remember constantly feeling flushed in my cheeks, my heart was racing and I felt short of breath. I just couldn't comprehend what was happening to my body , I would start shaking and clenched my hands into a fist digging my nails into my palms ( Unfortunately I still have the habit of doing that today).  When I was 9 years old my Mum took me to a Doctor as she had picked up on me panicking and being anxious all the time. The Doctor referred me to CAMHS ( Child Adolescent Mental Health Service ) where they diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder and depression. 

For 10 years I have been in and out of therapy and counselling trying to understand my anxiety with CAMHS . However I found therapy and counselling sessions overwhelming and emotional , which affected communicating with the psychiatrists and psychologists. I became difficult and reluctant to speak because I felt ashamed of myself for not understanding what was going on. Having a lack of understanding about anxiety at a young age felt confusing and emotional , in my head all I thought was something is wrong with me , why don't other children around me feel like this?  I must be a bad person right? 

I found it difficult during my schools years both primary and high school. I barely spoke during high school and when I did , I began to panic. I could feel myself sweating and shaking , my face felt like it was on fire. My heart pounding as I began to fidget , I couldn't control my body and if I was sat down I began to rock back and forward on the chair. I always got tummy pains and embarrassingly I felt like I was going to poop my pants. My anxiety got so bad , I eventually refused to go to school. I barely went to school in the last 2 years of high school. I found it overwhelming , stressful and I just couldn't cope any more.

When I was 18 , I was discharged from CAMHS and entered the adult services. To this day , I still continue with therapy to help with my anxiety.  

Things That Triggered My Anxiety In School

. Walking to lessons alone

. Going to the toilets alone

. Being late for lessons

. Forgetting something

. If I was seated right in the centre of the classroom surrounded by people

. Assemblies

. A large number of people in a classroom

. Asking a teacher for help

. Catching the bus to and from school

. Being left alone at lunch and break times

. Talking to classmates 

. Fire drills

. Being singled out in lessons by teachers randomly asking questions when you don't have your hand up.

. Exams 

. Fear of falling over and everyone laughing at me

. People in general 

 Things That Trigger My Anxiety Now

. Walking alone to places

. Catching public transport

. Speaking to people

. Going out the house

. Going up to the tills while out shopping alone

. Being in crowds or busy places

. Going to new places 

. Ordering drinks in a cafe / restaurant 

. Worrying about what I am wearing or my appearance

. Checking things around the house constantly making sure things are switched off ( Even though I have checked it more than 3 times)

. Answering the door or phone   

For more information and support about anxiety visit my " Help & Information" Page :) 

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Love Ava

xoxo

   

Confessions Of Living With Anorexia Nervosa ( Eating Disorder ) * My Story*

Okay... So It has taken me alot of courage to actually type this, but some how I feel as though I need to let things of my chest. I know It is a completely different kind of post for my blog. But if me typing my story helps at least one person who is also a sufferer of Anorexia Nervosa understand that they are not alone and they don't need to afraid, then my job is done.  


Hello my name is Ava and I am a sufferer of Anorexia Nervosa. From a young age I have always had problems with my weight , my body has always been my enemy. As a young child I was always the chubby child amongst my friends. My mum brought myself up to have a healthy balanced diet , which I certainly adapted too. I could not understand why I was the child sat there snacking on a bag of tomatoes and be the chubby child , while the children I was surrounded by was snacking on two packets of crisps and they were skinny minnies!!! I constantly beat myself up about it... It made me feel very unhappy , confused of not understanding why my body was different. 


At 12 years old I started to diet constantly , Slim fast , Diet pills , laxatives and over exercising. I would starve myself for 5 days while I was at school as I was embarrassed eat around others. Then at the weekends I would binge.... I would eat  7 days worth of calories in 2 days , thinking it would make me loose weight. Boy oh boy was I wrong !!! It would make me miserable , frustrated , and it made me gain weight not loose it. I began to self harm by cutting my wrists ,I felt like it was the only way of letting my frustration out by harming myself.  I became angry and repulsed , this turned into hatred towards myself.  This diet routine went on for 5 years until I was 17 years old. 

The Bullying 

I had been bullied through out my life , however at the age of 15 things became 100 times worse. As a teenager I was still chubby , so it was very easy for a bully to target me for my weight. You expect a bully to be someone who barely knows you at all , in my case the bully looked as though they were my friend to the outside world. Let's name the bully ermmm... Louise , so I don't keep referring to them as the bully. Being Autistic  I am often socially isolated from others and find it difficult to understand people . I frequently struggle being social and communicating with others. Unfortunately I am easily manipulated by people , because I put trust into people too quickly. Basically if someone told me to stick my hand in a fire , I would do it. I would do it because I have been told to do it ( therefore in my head I instantly feel as though I have to obey authority). Louise had always picked up on the fact I was easily manipulated and she sure used it to her advantage. I don't want to go into too much detail as it still hurts to think about today. Louise... She made me do things I didn't want to do ,she would publicly embarrass me for her own amusement. She was emotionally , verbally , mentally and physically abusive to me. I was petrified of her. She turned all my old friends against me by making up lies about myself. I didn't tell anyone for 2 years what was going on , I was so scared of Louise... I was afraid of what she was going to do to me.  I lived 170 metres away from her , she lived literally around the corner from me , there was no escaping from her. She would constantly make remarks about my weight which really hurt me. She knew I had issues with food as I wouldn't eat in public. I was embarrassed to eat, I felt so ashamed!!! I felt like I would be a disappointment if I were too eat.


The Overdose

At 17 years old enough was enough!!! I couldn't handle Louise bullying me any more. I had finally broken down to my Mum and told her everything , the bullying , my eating habits. My Mum held me tight while I cried , She told me I could do it , I could stand up to Louise and everything was going to be okay.
   I told Louise I wanted nothing more to do with her!!! I thought it was all over... No!!! No it wasn't... She began to harass me , phone calls , social network sites , coming round to my house. I blocked her number , blocked her from social network sites!!! But she always found a way to contact me. She made new accounts to contact me , ringing me and sending messages using other people's phones. She even came to my house and stormed into my living room after my step Dad answered the front door , she barged passed him screaming threats at both of us. 
       I wouldn't normally reply or pick up the phone... Then one day I picked up the phone. I begged Louise to stop and leave me alone. She started shouting down the phone " You disgusting fat bitch , I am going to make your life hell until your dead and I have buried you in your grave." 
     I hung up the phone and fell to the ground crying. I had enough, I was scared and couldn't cope any more. I ran to the  medication cupboard and grabbed all the tablets that where there. I went over to the sofa and sat down. I did not want to live any more , I took all the tablets in one go and overdosed. Not long after my step dad came home from work and  found me on the sofa and called an ambulance and I was rushed into resuscitation at the hospital. I later woke up on a ward and the nurses at the hospital took care of me till I was well enough to be discharged. 
The nurses and Psychiatrists at the hospital suggested to my Mum it would be wise to get the Police involved to stop the bullying. So My mum did and in time the bullying stopped. 

Diagnosed 

After the overdose , I struggled to cope. The bullying may have stopped , but in my mind the words that where said , began constantly to eat away at me. The voice in my head kept saying " You are fat , you are ugly , you are fat , do not eat." I started to pick at food , and then completely stopped eating all together. I would only drink strawberry water. My weight loss had become noticeable , and the people around me became aware there was a problem. I had gone from weighing 10 and half stone to 7 and half  within 5 weeks. My hair started to fall out , I was constantly cold , my hands and feet where blue. My arms where weak ,my bones in my legs and back where hurting . I could barely walk up the stairs. My periods had stopped and I was not able to go to the toilet. I had horrible chest pains , I couldn't breathe properly , My Mum begged me to get help. I refused , I didn't need any help I said!A few days later... I was in so much pain , I eventually gave in and asked my mum to help me. She took me to the hospital , where I laid in a hospital bed been seen by countless Doctors , Nurses and Psychiatrists. I was then referred to the Eating Disorder team and was Diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa.   

Still Struggling But Still Hoping 

I am now 21 years old  and I have been under the Eating Disorder team for 4 years. I wish I could say that in these past 4 years I am starting to get better. Unfortunately I am not... I wish it was that simple , that I had a magic wand and could make it go away. The truth is I am struggling more than ever right now , I hope one day I will beat it. In the past 4 years I turned to laxatives and became addicted to them. There are days when I eat nothing , but I pretend I do so my family won't worry. I refuse to eat anything else but fruit and vegetables. I still self harm to this day. I feel as though I need to be punished for even thinking about food. 

Today I weigh 6 stone 7 pounds , 41kg , 91 pounds. I am a size 6 (UK) in clothing or an age 10 to 11 years in Children's clothes. But when I look in the mirror I see an ugly fat beast, I cant understand why the scales say one thing , and looking into a mirror I see something else. It messes with your head mentally , you become paranoid and convinced someone is playing tricks on you. 

     Beating this would mean everything , but everyday is a working progress. I seem to take one step forward and then three steps backwards. I am trying but nothing is ever easy in life , everyday is a struggle but a struggle eventually turns into strength.






               The Cons Of Being A Sufferer Of Anorexia Nervosa 


. Not being able to eat in public because of feeling embarrassed  and ashamed of yourself.

. Not being able to go to family meals or going out for meals with friends.

. Constantly calorie counting in foods and drinks.

. Anxiety and panic attacks when people offer you food. 

. Feeling a disappointment to everyone around you. 

. Constant tummy pains 

. Hating yourself

. Looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing a person the size of a whale. 

. No confidence

. Unable to have a social life.

. Eating off baby plates and bowls. 

. Being House bound 95% of the time.

. Constant fear of food and weight gain.

. Depression.

. Feeling like a waste of space.

. Weighing yourself daily 

. Struggling feeling comfortable in an outfit.

. Anxiety attacks

. Paranoia

. Not wanting to live

. Feeling like a bad person 

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Love Ava

xoxo