Showing posts with label alcohol. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alcohol. Show all posts

Wednesday, 13 April 2016

The First Steps To Help Decrease Stress!








Identify The Possible Causes


It is important to identify and acknowledge the causes that are increasing stress. Being able to identify the causes will help in finding a solution or ways to decrease your stress.

Identify - Analyse - Solutions - Action Plan - Evaluate

( Problem Solving ) 

Where - When - How - What - Who - Why 






Work Life And Personal Life Balance    

Although everyone needs to work to earn a living , it is important to have a balance between your work life and your personal life. You need to ensure that your work life does not become your entire LIFE. It is important to have family time and some "ME"time to help you relax and enjoy life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break from work if your work life is having an mental , emotional and psychical effect on you. Your health is important and you deserve to be happy!  








Exercise!


Regular exercise is a good self-help to decrease stress. Physical exercise releases endorphins ( also known as "the happy hormones" ) in the body which helps the body to relax. Exercise does not have to include a high intensive workout , but can be something as simple as walking to the local shop. 






Let Yourself Relax


I know being stress you may find it difficult to let yourself relax , however it is important that you do! Find time and space to be alone just for an hour everyday or at least once a week to take time to relax. Do whatever helps you relax , it may be watching your favourite TV show , listening to some music , doing yoga or some breathing exercises , reading a book or taking a long relaxing bath. 





Lifestyle Changes /Choices 



Once you know the causes of what is making you stressed , it is important to make lifestyle changes to prevent any further stress. A healthy diet is important to decrease stress. Things such as smoking , alcohol and caffeine can have a negative effect of the body and increase stress levels , it is important to minimize your intake.




Sleep!


Sleeping problems are common for individuals under stress. However it is important that individuals get enough rest , there are different ways to help individuals sleep such as using essential oils , using lavender bath oils before bed , relaxation and meditation CD's or music. 






Know Your Limits 


You need to ensure you know your limits. It is ok to stop what you are doing and rest. You are only one person and there is only so much you can do. You can not take on the weight of the world by yourself and it is completely right for you to say "NO! I need to stop and rest."







Be Mindful 

Focus on the present moment and accept what is happening there and then in that moment , try not to stress or worry about the future or what is to come. Everything happens in its own way , no matter how unfair it may seem at the time. Problems always have a way of being resolved. Live for the now! 









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Love Ava
xoxo





Monday, 7 September 2015

The Violent One


The Violent One





A blistering Saturday evening in the summer of 2003. The BBQ sizzling swiftly with the local supermarket’s cheap meat firing away. Old friends clinking there beer bottles together with excitement while cheering with delight for no expressive reason. Listening to the summer beats playing in the background from the kitchen, while all the quests including myself sat outside on the plastic garden deck chairs which the hosts of the party owned. The summer breeze which spread rapidly as the evening progressed into the late night, and the guests started to tire out. The 9 year old me was exhausted, I sat on a garden deck chair with my legs tucked up to my chest with my cardigan wrapped around me. As I was the only child apart from a new born baby there that night I was getting bored as the night continued. The hosts of the party were friends of my Dad and Step mum. They had invited my Dad, Step Mum, Step Brother and myself to their summer party BBQ, although my Step Brother was not able to go to the party as he was visiting his Dad for the weekend.

          As the party began to come to an end and people started to say their goodbyes, I started to feel relieved that it was almost time to go home. I was tired; irritated from being too tired and being a child adult conversations tend to bore you, I was ready to leave. My Dad and Step Mum began to say their goodbyes to all their friends, and the taxi the hosts had phoned for us had arrived. My Step Mum had offered the taxi to a couple who she didn’t know but they were good friends with the hosts of the party. As the couple had a new born baby and wanted to get home as soon as possible, so they took the offer and thanked my Step Mum.
      The fury in my Dad’s intoxicated face.  His expression said it all, he was angry. Angry that my Step Mum had offer our taxi to someone else. We waited another 45 minutes for a taxi to arrive. By then it was the early hours of the morning, and the 3 of us said our final goodbyes to everyone and hopped into the taxi. The car pulled away from the host’s house and set off for the journey home. I was sat in the middle of my Dad and Step Mum in the back of the taxi; I just knew there was argument about to explode between them. I knew the reaction in my Dad’s face wasn’t going to let it go.

   Before I knew it, he had turned to my Step Mum and shouted “You stupid cow, what the hell did you let them take our taxi for.” “They have a little baby, you selfish bastard “said my Step Mum. “ I don’t fucking care, I wanted to go home” said my Dad. Stuck in the middle of them both I told them to stop fighting, while the taxi driver awkwardly carried on the drive home. Both my Dad and Step Mum were silent for the rest of the journey home. We paid the taxi man, got out the car and walked up the pathway to the front door. My Step Mum opened the door and took a stride into the hallway leading into the living room. The dog they both owned who was called Jack came running out of the kitchen and jumped around the living room with excitement that we were home. My Dad followed both myself and my Step Mum into the house shortly after while leaving the front door open, my Step Mum politely asked him to close the door and that is when the trouble began…..

    “Close the fucking door yourself” he said. “What? Why are you acting like this?” my Step Mum said. “Like what” he said while getting right up in her face. “ Oh just get lost you prick” she said... He raised his fist to hit her and at the same time my Step Mum swung her leg up and kicked him in the side of his leg to defend herself. He screamed “you bitch” while grabbing her by the neck and threw her to the floor. He sat on top on her and started choking her. She was gasping for air, and struggling to move from under his heavy weight. I started screaming “stop it, just stop it, get away from her.” I stood in fear, speechless of what was happening. A hot summer’s night suddenly felt frozen, turned to ice, the no existed chill in the air became real.
      I began to beg my Dad to get off my Step Mum; he wouldn’t listen to and started to aggressively punch her in the face. Jack became fearful to the violence that was occurring and hid behind the couch while squealing. I begged my dad again to stop hurting her, but he wouldn’t listen. My Step Mum had blood running down her face, a broken nose and a busted lip. I began to cry as I saw the blood dripping onto the floor. My Dad carried on hitting her and hitting her, he wouldn’t stop. I ran into the back room where a baseball bat was kept, I grabbed the bat and ran back into the living room. I started to hit the bat as hard as I could onto the side of the living room door to try and get my Dad’s attention hoping it would stop him hitting my Step Mum.  It didn’t work! So I dropped the bat to the floor and jumped onto his back to pull him off my Step Mum.  He struggled standing up with me on his back but once he did he grabbed the side of arm and threw me across the room into a brick wall. In the meantime my Step Mum had fought to stand up onto her feet, covered in her own blood.

           My Dad turned to me and told me to “Stay out of it or else.” He turned back around and grabbed my Step Mum by the neck once more and pushed her threw the open front door onto the grass in the front garden. She fell to the ground once again crying with pain. The next door neighbours awakened by the screaming and shouting started peeking through their bedroom windows. One neighbour came outside and asked my Dad if everything was alright. He walked over to the fence where the neighbour was to speak to him.
      Meanwhile Jack ran out of the house and through the unlocked gate, running away from the violence. I ran after jack chasing him down the street shouting his name, but he was too fast for me and I lost track of him. My Dad soon caught up with me, screaming “get back into that house you stupid girl.” I ran back to the house out fear of what he might do if he didn’t. I got to the end of the gate and My Step Mum was nowhere to be seen in the garden. I walked up to the front door and she came rushing out, she kissed me on the forehead with blood and her tears running down her face. She told me she was sorry and she had to go , she can’t stay here. She had rushed into the house to get the car keys, she ran to the car and waved goodbye to me. I started to cry again, I was confused, I didn’t understand what had happened; all I knew was that it was very wrong.

         I walked back into the house and shortly after my Step Mum waved goodbye, my Dad came back to the house. He raised his voice and told me to go upstairs and get ready for bed, I did exactly that and then I heard a barking. JACK!!! I ran down the stairs, unlocked the front door and there he was waiting at the end of the gate. I ran outside to get him; I picked him up, cuddled him and kissed him on the head. I started walking back towards the house and there my Dad stood staring at me… I gasped. He had a displeasured raged look in his eyes….. He was not my Dad anymore…..











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Love Ava
xoxox