Showing posts with label negative. Show all posts
Showing posts with label negative. Show all posts

Thursday, 1 October 2015

Turning Negative Thinking Into Positive Thinking










Hello everyone! :) I hope everyone is doing well and are having a lovely day. Today I thought I would share with you all some of my favourite quotes that encourage positive thinking from a negative mind set. I hope you like some of these quotes :) and I would love to know some of your personal favourite quotes :)











1. When your mind is full of indecision , try thinking with your heart.


2. Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones , you'll start having positive results. 


3. Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars and see yourself running with them. 


4. If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.


5. The greatest revenge is to accomplish what others say you cannot do. 


6. The only true failure is the person who fails to try. 


7. Promote what you love , rather than bashing what you hate.


8. Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.   


9. Don't strive to be better than others , strive to be better than your best self. 


10. I don't think of all the misery but of all the beauty that still remains. 


11. Be like the birds and sing after every storm.



12. Be strong and unyielding so that your inner strength will grow. 


13. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.


14. You must be the change you want to see in the world.


15. Believe in yourself 











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Love Ava
xoxox






Monday, 7 September 2015

The Violent One


The Violent One





A blistering Saturday evening in the summer of 2003. The BBQ sizzling swiftly with the local supermarket’s cheap meat firing away. Old friends clinking there beer bottles together with excitement while cheering with delight for no expressive reason. Listening to the summer beats playing in the background from the kitchen, while all the quests including myself sat outside on the plastic garden deck chairs which the hosts of the party owned. The summer breeze which spread rapidly as the evening progressed into the late night, and the guests started to tire out. The 9 year old me was exhausted, I sat on a garden deck chair with my legs tucked up to my chest with my cardigan wrapped around me. As I was the only child apart from a new born baby there that night I was getting bored as the night continued. The hosts of the party were friends of my Dad and Step mum. They had invited my Dad, Step Mum, Step Brother and myself to their summer party BBQ, although my Step Brother was not able to go to the party as he was visiting his Dad for the weekend.

          As the party began to come to an end and people started to say their goodbyes, I started to feel relieved that it was almost time to go home. I was tired; irritated from being too tired and being a child adult conversations tend to bore you, I was ready to leave. My Dad and Step Mum began to say their goodbyes to all their friends, and the taxi the hosts had phoned for us had arrived. My Step Mum had offered the taxi to a couple who she didn’t know but they were good friends with the hosts of the party. As the couple had a new born baby and wanted to get home as soon as possible, so they took the offer and thanked my Step Mum.
      The fury in my Dad’s intoxicated face.  His expression said it all, he was angry. Angry that my Step Mum had offer our taxi to someone else. We waited another 45 minutes for a taxi to arrive. By then it was the early hours of the morning, and the 3 of us said our final goodbyes to everyone and hopped into the taxi. The car pulled away from the host’s house and set off for the journey home. I was sat in the middle of my Dad and Step Mum in the back of the taxi; I just knew there was argument about to explode between them. I knew the reaction in my Dad’s face wasn’t going to let it go.

   Before I knew it, he had turned to my Step Mum and shouted “You stupid cow, what the hell did you let them take our taxi for.” “They have a little baby, you selfish bastard “said my Step Mum. “ I don’t fucking care, I wanted to go home” said my Dad. Stuck in the middle of them both I told them to stop fighting, while the taxi driver awkwardly carried on the drive home. Both my Dad and Step Mum were silent for the rest of the journey home. We paid the taxi man, got out the car and walked up the pathway to the front door. My Step Mum opened the door and took a stride into the hallway leading into the living room. The dog they both owned who was called Jack came running out of the kitchen and jumped around the living room with excitement that we were home. My Dad followed both myself and my Step Mum into the house shortly after while leaving the front door open, my Step Mum politely asked him to close the door and that is when the trouble began…..

    “Close the fucking door yourself” he said. “What? Why are you acting like this?” my Step Mum said. “Like what” he said while getting right up in her face. “ Oh just get lost you prick” she said... He raised his fist to hit her and at the same time my Step Mum swung her leg up and kicked him in the side of his leg to defend herself. He screamed “you bitch” while grabbing her by the neck and threw her to the floor. He sat on top on her and started choking her. She was gasping for air, and struggling to move from under his heavy weight. I started screaming “stop it, just stop it, get away from her.” I stood in fear, speechless of what was happening. A hot summer’s night suddenly felt frozen, turned to ice, the no existed chill in the air became real.
      I began to beg my Dad to get off my Step Mum; he wouldn’t listen to and started to aggressively punch her in the face. Jack became fearful to the violence that was occurring and hid behind the couch while squealing. I begged my dad again to stop hurting her, but he wouldn’t listen. My Step Mum had blood running down her face, a broken nose and a busted lip. I began to cry as I saw the blood dripping onto the floor. My Dad carried on hitting her and hitting her, he wouldn’t stop. I ran into the back room where a baseball bat was kept, I grabbed the bat and ran back into the living room. I started to hit the bat as hard as I could onto the side of the living room door to try and get my Dad’s attention hoping it would stop him hitting my Step Mum.  It didn’t work! So I dropped the bat to the floor and jumped onto his back to pull him off my Step Mum.  He struggled standing up with me on his back but once he did he grabbed the side of arm and threw me across the room into a brick wall. In the meantime my Step Mum had fought to stand up onto her feet, covered in her own blood.

           My Dad turned to me and told me to “Stay out of it or else.” He turned back around and grabbed my Step Mum by the neck once more and pushed her threw the open front door onto the grass in the front garden. She fell to the ground once again crying with pain. The next door neighbours awakened by the screaming and shouting started peeking through their bedroom windows. One neighbour came outside and asked my Dad if everything was alright. He walked over to the fence where the neighbour was to speak to him.
      Meanwhile Jack ran out of the house and through the unlocked gate, running away from the violence. I ran after jack chasing him down the street shouting his name, but he was too fast for me and I lost track of him. My Dad soon caught up with me, screaming “get back into that house you stupid girl.” I ran back to the house out fear of what he might do if he didn’t. I got to the end of the gate and My Step Mum was nowhere to be seen in the garden. I walked up to the front door and she came rushing out, she kissed me on the forehead with blood and her tears running down her face. She told me she was sorry and she had to go , she can’t stay here. She had rushed into the house to get the car keys, she ran to the car and waved goodbye to me. I started to cry again, I was confused, I didn’t understand what had happened; all I knew was that it was very wrong.

         I walked back into the house and shortly after my Step Mum waved goodbye, my Dad came back to the house. He raised his voice and told me to go upstairs and get ready for bed, I did exactly that and then I heard a barking. JACK!!! I ran down the stairs, unlocked the front door and there he was waiting at the end of the gate. I ran outside to get him; I picked him up, cuddled him and kissed him on the head. I started walking back towards the house and there my Dad stood staring at me… I gasped. He had a displeasured raged look in his eyes….. He was not my Dad anymore…..











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Love Ava
xoxox


Monday, 3 August 2015

Turning Negative Thoughts About Yourself Into Positive Thoughts About Yourself






Hello there everyone! :) Often people dwell on negative thoughts during a depressing and stressful period in their life. I am guilty of doing this too , during my low days I often think negative thoughts about myself and seem to bully myself in my head over and over. Doing this time and time again is not mentally or psychically healthy for anyone. So I recently came up with a strategy to help decrease these ridiculously negative nonsense thoughts. I wrote down a list of  the negative things I tell myself and turned them into positive things I NEED to tell myself. I am going to read this list everyday until the positive thoughts are implanted in my brain. Whenever I am feeling low and them nasty negative thoughts try and slip into my head , I will remember the positives that I changed from the negatives and repeat them to myself.    



I hope anyone who is struggling with negative thoughts finds this list helpful , or I would love to see you come up with your own list of changing negative thoughts into positive thoughts! :)  





I tell myself I am WORTHLESS 
I need to tell myself I am WORTH IT


I tell myself I am STUPID 
I need to tell myself I am a different kind of SMART


I tell myself I am UGLY 
I need to tell myself I am BEAUTIFUL in my own way


I tell myself I am DAMAGED 
I need to tell myself things take TIME to be fixed


I tell myself I am WEAK
I need to tell myself  your not weak because your heart is still beating STRONG


I tell myself  nobody CARES
I need to tell myself  there is somebody who will always CARE


I tell myself I am INFERIOR 
I need to tell myself I am equally UNIQUE  


I tell myself I deserve to be UNHAPPY 
I need to tell myself everyone deserve to be HAPPY including yourself


I tell myself everybody hates me
I need to tell myself the people worth keeping LOVE you


I tell myself I am a failure 
I need to tell myself you have to fail once or twice to eventually SUCCEED 

  

I tell myself I CANT  do this
I need to tell myself I CAN do this














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Love Ava 
xoxox

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Understanding The Different Types Of Eating Disorders






Eating disorders are when an individual has a constant battle with their eating habits and their attitude and behaviour towards food which becomes unhealthy abnormal. An eating disorder is an illness within an individuals mind which has a physical unhealthy affect on the individuals body because of there eating habits. The individual with an eating disorder can not understand and separate what others see about there body to what they see about their body. The person's perception of themselves often means there unhealthy eating habits and behaviours become a familiar cycle which is very difficult to break out off.
There are 3 common known eating disorders , which include Anorexia Nervosa , Bulimia Nervosa and Binge Eating/ Compulsive Overeating. 
Anorexia nervosa is when an individual tries to keep their weight as low as possible by starving themselves and exercising excessively. Whereas ,Bulimia nervosa is when an  individual tries to loose weight or maintain their weight by binge eating/ overeating and deliberately making themselves sick or using laxatives to empty their bowels. Binge eating and compulsive overeating which is often related to obesity is also an eating disorder. Binge eating or compulsive overeating is at the opposite end of the scale relating to eating habits compared to Anorexia.   


I myself have personally suffered with Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia by being addicted to laxatives for a long time. I have previously written a blog post touching briefly on my story , if you would like to read more about my story here is the link below.





Possible Causes Of An Eating Disorder


There are many different causes of a possible eating disorder , there is not just one particular cause. Each individual is different and their reasons behind developing an eating disorder vary from each other , although some individuals may have similarities. 


. One possible cause of an eating disorder may be down to genes. If a person has a family history of eating disorders , depression or substance misuse , it is possible that this could be a factor of an individual developing an eating disorder. 

. Being bullied or heavily criticised about a person's body shape , weight or eating habits could have an emotional , mental and psychical impact on an individual and could be a cause of them developing an eating disorder.    

. Society and media influences could be a cause of an individual developing an eating disorder . With the media constantly portraying " What is perfect" could have a negative impact on an individual. 

. An individual with an obsessive personality , an anxiety disorder or low self-esteem may be at risk to developing an eating disorder.

. Sexual or emotional abuse and difficult relationships with family or friends could be a possible cause of an individual developing an eating disorder.

. Stressful situations and life events such as work , school , university ,struggling marriage , divorce or break up , death of a loved one , money troubles or strained relationships with family and friends could be a factor of a person developing an eating disorder. 

    
Anorexia Nervosa




Individuals suffering with anorexia nervosa are often under weight for what they should weigh for a healthy weight. People suffering with anorexia mental state is to constantly lose weight , as they see themselves much bigger than they actually are. For example looking into mirror they may see someone who is the size of a tiger but in actual fact they are a size of a cat. Their whole life becomes revolved around weight , body image and their relationship with food. 


Behaviours 


. Wearing baggy or loose clothes to cover their body.

. Weighing themselves daily 

. Measuring themselves , such as their waist and hip size

. Checking their body in the mirror 

. Constantly asking people if they have put weight on 

. Holding their belly or crossing their arms over their body 

. Individuals may tell lies about eating or what they have eaten 

. Giving excuses about why they are not eating 

. Pretending they have already eaten earlier 

. Lying about how much weight they have lost



How Anorexia Affects An Individual 


. Obsessively reading cookery books and recipes 

. Constantly dieting 

. Counting calories in food obsessively 

. Avoiding food 

. Eating only specific foods

. Fasting 

. Avoiding eating with others

. Hiding food

. Cutting food into small pieces 

. Taking appetite suppressants 

   

 Bulimia Nervosa



Bulimia is a cruel cycle for an individual as it is a cycle that is hard to break out of. People suffering with bulimia tend to have very low self-esteem and often think they are much bigger than they actually are. Individuals have strict rules about there diet , eating and exercise but these rules tend to fail for the individual and the individual ends up bingeing on large amounts of food and then forces themselves to be sick or take laxatives to get rid of the food consumed. This behaviour often happens because of the guilt the individual feels for bingeing out. 



Behaviours 

. Disappearing soon after eating food ( usually to the bathroom)

.Mood swings 

.Spending large amounts on money for bingeing 

.Overly exercising

.Isolated from others

.Not eating with people

.Anxiety

.Depression 

. Social avoidance


How Bulimia Nervosa Affects An Individual 


. Regular weight changes

.Isolation from others

. Obsessive towards there eating habits

.Swelling of cheeks and jaw area 

.Stained teeth 

. Constant body aches and pains 

. Acne / Spots 

. Damaged bowels

. Heart and other organ problems 

. Rapid mood changes

. Lack of energy



Binge Eating Disorder 




Individuals who deal with their feelings and emotions through eating food consistently are often known to have a binge eating disorder. Food provides comfort and sense of relief from the individuals anxieties , stress and feelings that they are experiencing. People with a binge eating disorder often have no control over their eating habits. Generally people with a binge eating disorder have very low self-esteem , depression and anxiety. 


Behaviours 

. Lying about what they have or haven't eaten 

. Hiding food

. Rapidly eating large amounts of food

. Complaining about being hungry although they have just eaten 

. Rapid weight gain 

. Mood changes 

. Isolation 


How Binge Eating Disorder Affects An Individual 


. High cholesterol 

. High blood pressure 

. Diabetes

. Asthma 

. Chronic Back Pain 

. Osteoarthritis 

. Heart Disease

. Depression 

. Further anxiety and low self-esteem 






I hope you all find this post useful :) for further information about this topic or if you are seeking help and support see my information and help page! :D 


( Help & Information Link)





Love Ava 
xoxox