Hello everybody , I hope everyone is well and are having a lovely day! :) Today's blogpost is going to be about my personal story about having an addiction to laxatives. If you are easily grossed out or repulsed by nitty gritty details about the human body ,you may want to skip this post as I am going to tell the honest truth about the affects of having an addiction too laxatives.
An addiction to laxatives comes under Bulimia Nervosa as you are forcing the removal of food that you have consumed. If you have followed me or been reading my blog's for awhile you may be aware that I have suffered with Anorexia Nervosa for a long time. Back in 2011 I became addicted to taking laxatives. Previous to 2011 from the age of 11 / 12 years old (2006) I had taken diet and slimming pills on and off till I was 17 years old. In 2011 at 17 years old I became addicted to laxatives , I couldn't go a day without taking them. I mentally , psychically and emotionally felt like I couldn't survive without taking laxatives, if I ran out or could not get hold of any laxatives my body would start to become shaky and I would panic which would result in having an anxiety attack. I took laxatives mainly in liquid form ( Lactulose) from the age of 17 for 3 years up to the age of 20 I would constantly take laxatives in hope of loosing more weight. The more I became addicted to laxatives the quantity of the amount I would take would increase. By the age of 19 I was taking 500ml of lactulose within 2 days , my body felt like I would not be able to cope without consuming the liquid. I became reliant and obsessive towards laxatives which increased my anxiety and I began to be aggressive in the way I spoke to loved ones.
The psychical affect of taking laxatives is not exactly pleasant. I spent 90% of my day on toilet because of the amount of lactulose I would consume. The pain was agonizing , my belly was swollen all the time , I felt like somebody was slowly grazing a knife in my tummy and because of constant straining while being on the toilet my chest , lungs , kidney , stomach and bottom was painfully aching. I had lack of sleep at night due to running to the toilet regularly. I sat at night in the bathroom crying asking myself was putting myself through this pain really worth it? I was so determined to lose more and more weight that I would continue to put myself through this pain for 3 years.
I felt embarrassed that taking laxatives constantly made me windy. It got to a stage where I felt so bad about myself and I hated myself so much that I felt like I deserved to be in pain. I was dehydrated all the time and when my belly was in excruciating pain I would walk hunched over because I couldn't lift my body up it was that painful.
How Laxatives Could Affect Somebody Long Term
. Organ damage
. Kidney Failure
. Death
. Heart disease of failure
. Damage to the intestines
. Muscle and joint problems
. Infertility
. Depression / Anxiety
. Irregular periods
. Bowel disease
Every day is a struggle living with an eating disorder , but I am happy to say it has just been under a year since I have last taken any laxatives. In summer of 2014 with lots of help from the eating disorder team and dietician I was under at that time helped me to come up with a routine and strategy to help reduce the amount of laxatives I was taking until I completely stopped. I am not going to lie and say it was easy , it was a struggle and hard work. There were times I wanted to give in and go back to taking the 500ml bottle of lactulose and there where times where it all felt too much and I wanted to jump off a cliff. One of my main motivations that helped me reduce and stop taking laxatives was that when I was told by my dietician that if I continue to take laxatives it could possibly make me infertile in the future. As somebody who has always wanted children it made me panic and motivated me to stop taking them.
How Taking Laxatives Affected My Life
. Isolation from society
. Lack of sleep
. Crying and emotional
. Aggressive towards others
. Depressed
. Irritable
. Spending most of the day in the bathroom
. No social life
. Dizziness
. Weak limbs
. Embarrassed
. Addictive
If you are somebody seeking help for a laxative addiction or would just like to know more about this topic see some of the links below or visit my help and information page :)
Love Ava
xoxox
